When I began familiarizing myself with the Kindergarten curriculum, I actually found it somewhat funny that index cards for sight words are recommended. Sight words? For real? My son and I would spend hours each week on the local school district's 500 sight words page, mostly for the purpose of helping him with his speech. He could already read the words easily at age (early) 4, but the added benefit was that he learned to correctly spell them all and now writes very detailed lists, requests, and descriptions of his feelings (when his emotions overwhelm him too much to speak, a common difficulty with his speech disorder).
Many people are surprised when I tell them how early my children were reading, but I truly believe that almost all children are capable of much more than we give them credit for. For example, when my son was diagnosed with autism and an expressive-receptive speech disorder at age 2, crying and meltdowns were the norm. I didn't throw him in ABA therapy hoping someone could train him to handle his outbursts better; I examined why he was so tantrum-prone. I realized that he knew exactly what he wanted, but the words were not making it from his brain to his mouth. Words were flipped around, mixed up, and incomplete. He was frustrated, and understandably so!
Unfortunately - or perhaps fortunately, as it turned out - our county was minus a speech therapist at the time through Early Intervention. Through the University of Google (ha!) I did some research about my son's speech disorder and found that sign language could be helpful. I went to the local library and started requesting all the Signing Time DVDs I could get my hands on, and bought a few that were not available through the inter-library lending program. And, as a family, we learned sign language. I was amazed at my children's capacity to pick up and retain this new language. Even more profound was the marked absence of the daily meltdown marathon; it turns out my son has a great capacity for language, just not the spoken form. With the tools to communicate, he was so happy and could then focus on other things.
It occurred to me that they could probably learn just about anything, and well. I also realized something else; parents are their children's first teachers. We doubt ourselves. We believe that schools will teach them all they need to know, and that our duties pretty much end when they walk into the school building for their first day of Kindergarten. Even those who don't think they believe that still sort of do. Because I didn't think I believed it, but I did. Confused yet?
The realization came to me when I was contemplating the necessity of backpacks for homeschooled children and the study space we would use. I had a very 'inside the box' concept of education. I would turn the kitchen table into a desk for the academic portion of our day, and backpacks would not be necessary. Or, would they? We could take our books to the park and read for a change of pace. And for that matter, why does the kitchen table have to double as a desk? Wouldn't it be much more comfortable to relax on the couch with Why Frogs Are Wet? Ah, yes. I had great ideas, but still very conventional ideas about learning. That is evolving, now.
It isn't amazing that my children were reading books at early 4. They are bright children, yes, but I think somewhere along the line parents stopped believing they were a part of their children's learning experience. Sure, we know we are the ones who teach values and the importance of chores and making good choices in life, but we are so much more! Much more than many of us give ourselves credit for. We should all challenge our traditional views of how children learn, and our role in their education.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Bullying
Since before my children were out of diapers, there were many reasons I considered homeschooling them. One of the reasons was bullying. My husband and I always knew that bullying was rampant in schools, though we both quite mistakenly figured it was something that would become an issue down the road - perhaps in junior high school. Boy, were we wrong.
I was excited for my daughter as she anticipated her first ride on the big yellow school bus she had been watching thoughtfully for a couple of years as it made the morning and afternoon routes past our home. But I was also sad, because even the best schools with the most dedicated teachers and brightest students also have bullies. There would be 7 hours every week day where I would have very little information about what was happening in my daughter's life. That's substantial.
My discomfort with the ways of traditional schools didn't stem from the fact that I am a control freak or one of those moms who wants to wrap her kid in pillows and a helmet before sending them out the door; my concerns were based on life experience. And, especially during those early years, a school day is a long time to be separated from family. Young children aren't exactly famous for relaying complete or accurate information about their days away from home, and as any parent of a teen can attest, it doesn't get much better with age.
The first time my sweet girl came home from school with an injury caused by another student, a scrape just beneath her eye, I was quick to give the benefit of the doubt. I asked what happened, and she told me that another child had thrown a snow ball at her, and I assumed it was a result of kids being kids on the playground in the snow. I did not, at the time, know about the school's 'no snow ball throwing' policy. I also did not know, until it happened again with a rock placed inside, that the snow was intentionally thrown at my daughter's face to injure her. The playground monitors? They did nothing. In fact, they didn't even report it to the teacher. But I sure did.
Over the course of the rest of the school year, my daughter was spat on at lunch because she wanted to be friends with another girl who did not want to be friends with her, had her arm clawed by a boy who said he 'just felt like doing that', and was verbally and eventually physically bullied by a team of three students on the bus a year ahead of her.
I went all Mama Bear and had everyone from the principal to the teacher to the bus driver to the guy in charge at the transportation department on speed dial. The teacher was wonderful. The principal really did her best as well. But there is only so much that can be done. But what really got me was when I kept pointing out the district's own bullying policy and stating that I wanted the bullies given time off of the bus, and the request was never taken seriously - but when my daughter caught the bus going up the street instead of down the street a couple of times, we were threatened with time off of the bus! The transportation guy never really liked me again after that.
As Little G's 5th birthday approached, I was already dreading Kindergarten. If my daughter, the well-spoken and much more social child of the two faced such as much bullying as she did, how would my autistic son with a speech disorder fare? It stressed me out immensely. Possibilities played in my head like awful movies; I pictured him being bullied, trying to respond, being unable to speak and being further victimized for that. I had to put it out of my mind. I couldn't bear the thoughts. R pretty much lets stuff roll like water off of a duck. G internalizes and is crushed by it.
Some people have said things to me like, "Well, they have to get used to the real world at some point." And I agree. But I have never been bullied in my adult life, not like kids experience in school. Does it happen? Sure, but it's rare and there are legal options available to adults who are harassed. Children are at the mercy of adults and school systems who often fail them terribly, and victimized by much more traumatic and frequent bullying which they have not developed psychologically enough yet to see for what it is. And statistically speaking, 58% of children never report being bullied. Worse? 1 in 4 children experience bullying.
Too many schools and parents consider bullying a harmless rite of passage. It isn't. Children commit suicide over this. People fail to reach their full potential because of wrecked self-esteem, or avoid doing things they otherwise would to enrich their lives because they fear their peers. Too many kids drop out of school because they cannot handle the social climate, not because the work is too difficult. And what a waste. I often wonder about the casualties of bullying; if the person who would have developed a cure for cancer or some other serious disease was bullied into dropping out of school, or life.
I believe in education. I love to learn, and so do my children. But many children who do receive a great education do so in spite of traditional schools and all of the garbage they encounter there. I'm not saying good kids don't have good experiences, or that kids don't have good times at school, or that all schools are bad, or that a lot of kids can't be really successful. I'm just saying I like our odds better this way. Raising children to be confident, motivated, self-starters who reach for their dreams and are willing to work hard for what they want is difficult enough in this world without the added burden of having to undo the damage of bullying.
Learn more about bullying at BullyingStatistics.org.
I was excited for my daughter as she anticipated her first ride on the big yellow school bus she had been watching thoughtfully for a couple of years as it made the morning and afternoon routes past our home. But I was also sad, because even the best schools with the most dedicated teachers and brightest students also have bullies. There would be 7 hours every week day where I would have very little information about what was happening in my daughter's life. That's substantial.
My discomfort with the ways of traditional schools didn't stem from the fact that I am a control freak or one of those moms who wants to wrap her kid in pillows and a helmet before sending them out the door; my concerns were based on life experience. And, especially during those early years, a school day is a long time to be separated from family. Young children aren't exactly famous for relaying complete or accurate information about their days away from home, and as any parent of a teen can attest, it doesn't get much better with age.
The first time my sweet girl came home from school with an injury caused by another student, a scrape just beneath her eye, I was quick to give the benefit of the doubt. I asked what happened, and she told me that another child had thrown a snow ball at her, and I assumed it was a result of kids being kids on the playground in the snow. I did not, at the time, know about the school's 'no snow ball throwing' policy. I also did not know, until it happened again with a rock placed inside, that the snow was intentionally thrown at my daughter's face to injure her. The playground monitors? They did nothing. In fact, they didn't even report it to the teacher. But I sure did.
Over the course of the rest of the school year, my daughter was spat on at lunch because she wanted to be friends with another girl who did not want to be friends with her, had her arm clawed by a boy who said he 'just felt like doing that', and was verbally and eventually physically bullied by a team of three students on the bus a year ahead of her.
I went all Mama Bear and had everyone from the principal to the teacher to the bus driver to the guy in charge at the transportation department on speed dial. The teacher was wonderful. The principal really did her best as well. But there is only so much that can be done. But what really got me was when I kept pointing out the district's own bullying policy and stating that I wanted the bullies given time off of the bus, and the request was never taken seriously - but when my daughter caught the bus going up the street instead of down the street a couple of times, we were threatened with time off of the bus! The transportation guy never really liked me again after that.
As Little G's 5th birthday approached, I was already dreading Kindergarten. If my daughter, the well-spoken and much more social child of the two faced such as much bullying as she did, how would my autistic son with a speech disorder fare? It stressed me out immensely. Possibilities played in my head like awful movies; I pictured him being bullied, trying to respond, being unable to speak and being further victimized for that. I had to put it out of my mind. I couldn't bear the thoughts. R pretty much lets stuff roll like water off of a duck. G internalizes and is crushed by it.
Some people have said things to me like, "Well, they have to get used to the real world at some point." And I agree. But I have never been bullied in my adult life, not like kids experience in school. Does it happen? Sure, but it's rare and there are legal options available to adults who are harassed. Children are at the mercy of adults and school systems who often fail them terribly, and victimized by much more traumatic and frequent bullying which they have not developed psychologically enough yet to see for what it is. And statistically speaking, 58% of children never report being bullied. Worse? 1 in 4 children experience bullying.
Too many schools and parents consider bullying a harmless rite of passage. It isn't. Children commit suicide over this. People fail to reach their full potential because of wrecked self-esteem, or avoid doing things they otherwise would to enrich their lives because they fear their peers. Too many kids drop out of school because they cannot handle the social climate, not because the work is too difficult. And what a waste. I often wonder about the casualties of bullying; if the person who would have developed a cure for cancer or some other serious disease was bullied into dropping out of school, or life.
I believe in education. I love to learn, and so do my children. But many children who do receive a great education do so in spite of traditional schools and all of the garbage they encounter there. I'm not saying good kids don't have good experiences, or that kids don't have good times at school, or that all schools are bad, or that a lot of kids can't be really successful. I'm just saying I like our odds better this way. Raising children to be confident, motivated, self-starters who reach for their dreams and are willing to work hard for what they want is difficult enough in this world without the added burden of having to undo the damage of bullying.
Learn more about bullying at BullyingStatistics.org.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Mama, Will I Need a Backpack?
When I first thought about what homeschooling meant for us, I wasn't thinking about backpacks. My daughter already had one, because I prepare early and hers broke at the end of last school year. My son still has one in perfect condition from preschool. But would we even need them?
Initially, I figured road trips to grandma's house would be about the most use our backpacks would be getting as a homeschooling family, but I realized I wasn't really thinking outside of the box. Almost my entire experience with education has consisted of bricks and mortar schools, with the exception of having completed a couple of my college classes via online courses after I moved 50 miles away from campus. With my online courses, there was little to no need for a backpack. But homeschooling elementary students is a bit different. Nothing says we have to hold "class" at the kitchen table. We could throw our lessons into backpacks and head to the library for a change of pace. We might decide that having an outdoor art lesson at the park followed by a picnic lunch is a great way to spend the first half of our day. The possibilities are pretty much limitless.
Similarly limitless is our virtual academy's capacity to impress me with what they offer students. I went through approximately 1 1/2 of our 4 boxes of school curriculum and supplies, and I literally got butterflies of excitement about all that we will be doing this year.
I'm loving, absolutely loving the fact that I can actually look forward to this school year. Have I mentioned that yet?
Initially, I figured road trips to grandma's house would be about the most use our backpacks would be getting as a homeschooling family, but I realized I wasn't really thinking outside of the box. Almost my entire experience with education has consisted of bricks and mortar schools, with the exception of having completed a couple of my college classes via online courses after I moved 50 miles away from campus. With my online courses, there was little to no need for a backpack. But homeschooling elementary students is a bit different. Nothing says we have to hold "class" at the kitchen table. We could throw our lessons into backpacks and head to the library for a change of pace. We might decide that having an outdoor art lesson at the park followed by a picnic lunch is a great way to spend the first half of our day. The possibilities are pretty much limitless.
Similarly limitless is our virtual academy's capacity to impress me with what they offer students. I went through approximately 1 1/2 of our 4 boxes of school curriculum and supplies, and I literally got butterflies of excitement about all that we will be doing this year.
I'm loving, absolutely loving the fact that I can actually look forward to this school year. Have I mentioned that yet?
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Preview!
A preview of our very exciting unboxing! The countdown has begun, just under 3 weeks until school starts! I was busy today getting the house in order, finishing up tasks that need doing, and preparing for our home to double as a school. Oh, how I am loving this!
One thing I have been somewhat less enthusiastic about is sharing our homeschooling intentions with others, especially the more traditional-thinking members of our families. I want to tell them, but I will probably wait until they ask.
One thing I have been somewhat less enthusiastic about is sharing our homeschooling intentions with others, especially the more traditional-thinking members of our families. I want to tell them, but I will probably wait until they ask.
Monday, August 8, 2011
The Right Way
Three weeks until the start of school. When I think about how fast that will go, it feels a little scary! But then I remind myself that we will be learning at home, together, as a family, and my fears dissipate quickly as I think of all the advantages. I'm very excited. The kids are very excited.
It feels right not shipping my kids off bright and early every weekday morning until 4 o'clock in the evening. It felt almost like strangers were raising my daughter, getting to be there as she learned and grew while I was functioning to encourage her, get her on the bus in a timely manner, rush her through homework when she got home, and get her into bed in time to do it all again the next day. I hated that. I would not let on to my daughter that I hated it; I just made the most of the time I did have to spend with her and always exhibited a highly positive attitude about school and learning. That was especially difficult when dealing with the bullying, the, um, difficult gym teacher, and my daughter's natural curiosity about the meaning of obscene words she'd find written on the bathroom walls. But I managed.
The first few weeks were always tearful for me, something I thought would be easier last year but was somehow even more difficult. I became increasingly aware of my little girl's precious early years slipping away like grains of sand through my fingers. My discomfort with the family disconnect only grew as I realized that the opportunities for parental involvement in public school are few, and limited to a group of parents who always seem to be the same ones despite the names on the volunteer list. Oh, but they sure called me when they needed money or donations - which I gladly provided, but I missed my daughter.
I know my appraisal of public school sounds negative. I don't intend to come off that way. And I will be just as quick to admit that we were blessed with absolutely wonderful Kindergarten and first grade teachers, both of whom surely contributed to a very positive foundation for my daughter's educational experience. But I cannot deny the negative aspects of my daughter's public school experience. Education, much like other controversial mommy topics such as breastfeeding versus formula or what constitutes appropriate discipline, is a very personal family decision for which there is no universal "right way". What is right for my children may not be right for yours, and what works for one family may be complete and utter chaos and disaster for another.
Only time and experience will tell how this journey will unfold for us. For now, there is a lightness as the beginning of the academic year approaches and I know I do not have to part with both of my children for more than 7 hours each day while someone else teaches them. That lightness is countered by the trepidation of the great unknown of homeschooling. It sort of feels like buckling up for a roller coaster ride; there is a joyful anticipation with a side of internal butterflies.
It feels right not shipping my kids off bright and early every weekday morning until 4 o'clock in the evening. It felt almost like strangers were raising my daughter, getting to be there as she learned and grew while I was functioning to encourage her, get her on the bus in a timely manner, rush her through homework when she got home, and get her into bed in time to do it all again the next day. I hated that. I would not let on to my daughter that I hated it; I just made the most of the time I did have to spend with her and always exhibited a highly positive attitude about school and learning. That was especially difficult when dealing with the bullying, the, um, difficult gym teacher, and my daughter's natural curiosity about the meaning of obscene words she'd find written on the bathroom walls. But I managed.
The first few weeks were always tearful for me, something I thought would be easier last year but was somehow even more difficult. I became increasingly aware of my little girl's precious early years slipping away like grains of sand through my fingers. My discomfort with the family disconnect only grew as I realized that the opportunities for parental involvement in public school are few, and limited to a group of parents who always seem to be the same ones despite the names on the volunteer list. Oh, but they sure called me when they needed money or donations - which I gladly provided, but I missed my daughter.
I know my appraisal of public school sounds negative. I don't intend to come off that way. And I will be just as quick to admit that we were blessed with absolutely wonderful Kindergarten and first grade teachers, both of whom surely contributed to a very positive foundation for my daughter's educational experience. But I cannot deny the negative aspects of my daughter's public school experience. Education, much like other controversial mommy topics such as breastfeeding versus formula or what constitutes appropriate discipline, is a very personal family decision for which there is no universal "right way". What is right for my children may not be right for yours, and what works for one family may be complete and utter chaos and disaster for another.
Only time and experience will tell how this journey will unfold for us. For now, there is a lightness as the beginning of the academic year approaches and I know I do not have to part with both of my children for more than 7 hours each day while someone else teaches them. That lightness is countered by the trepidation of the great unknown of homeschooling. It sort of feels like buckling up for a roller coaster ride; there is a joyful anticipation with a side of internal butterflies.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
P.S.
When school begins at the end of the month, posts will become much more interesting and actually include photos.
It's Official
I will have a two-student classroom as of the end of this month! I'm excited and scared at the same time, filled with hope and optimism with a healthy shot of trepidation thrown in for good measure. I'm feeling very thankful for having had the experience of completing a couple of my college classes by way of independent learning, because that experience has prepared me in many ways for this. Time management is key, and it eases my mind knowing that we will find our groove after a few weeks and the fear of the unknown will be behind us.
As it turned out, R heard G and I discussing his Kindergarten curriculum and some of the things we planned to do as far as field trips and hands-on learning, and she became more interested by the day. Finally, she just flat out asked me if she could be homeschooled, too. I had been on the fence about her. I never suggested she try homeschooling, but I did let her know the option was open if she wanted. I have been working closely and constantly with G from the time he was a baby because of his speech disorder and autism, so we work extremely well together and I feel confident being his learning coach. With R, it is an unknown. She could be less than pleasant during some of her homework assignments, but I'm not sure how much of that was how we work together and how much was saturation point - the simple fact that a 7 year-old child started her school day by getting on the bus at 8:30am and was still dealing with school at 6:30pm.
I don't want to sound like I am anti-homework. In fact, quite the opposite is true. I felt such a disconnect with my daughter being in public school, and I sincerely welcomed the opportunity to be involved in her education in any way. I think homework is an excellent way for parents to show an interest in their child's education and spend time together working on something important. But I wanted to be involved more, especially in the more enjoyable aspects of the learning process before the end of the day has come and we're all just exhausted and pressing through the motions so we can get to bed and start over the next day.
Until she started public school, I was highly involved in my daughter's learning experiences. And I loved it. I hoped I would adjust to her going off to school. Society says I am supposed to; age 5 is when children are expected to leave the family home for as many as 8 hours per day to begin their structured educations. But it just felt like something had been stolen, from all of us. And when my sweet girl was bullied, and coming home with an education I did not sign up for, it only made things feel more wrong. But at the same time, she thrived academically and undeniably had wonderful teachers. I did not want to take that experience from her by encouraging her to follow my heart; I want her to follow her own heart.
I guess I didn't realize just how much I truly wanted her to want to do homeschool with us. I kept asking over and over to make sure, and her decision did not waver. And since our decision was made, our home has been filled with more happiness than we've collectively experienced for some time. I no longer dread the start of school, I look forward to it excitedly as we begin our new journey as a family, the way I feel it ought to be. For us.
And the curriculum? Fantastic! I have a great deal to say about that, and I will soon.
As it turned out, R heard G and I discussing his Kindergarten curriculum and some of the things we planned to do as far as field trips and hands-on learning, and she became more interested by the day. Finally, she just flat out asked me if she could be homeschooled, too. I had been on the fence about her. I never suggested she try homeschooling, but I did let her know the option was open if she wanted. I have been working closely and constantly with G from the time he was a baby because of his speech disorder and autism, so we work extremely well together and I feel confident being his learning coach. With R, it is an unknown. She could be less than pleasant during some of her homework assignments, but I'm not sure how much of that was how we work together and how much was saturation point - the simple fact that a 7 year-old child started her school day by getting on the bus at 8:30am and was still dealing with school at 6:30pm.
I don't want to sound like I am anti-homework. In fact, quite the opposite is true. I felt such a disconnect with my daughter being in public school, and I sincerely welcomed the opportunity to be involved in her education in any way. I think homework is an excellent way for parents to show an interest in their child's education and spend time together working on something important. But I wanted to be involved more, especially in the more enjoyable aspects of the learning process before the end of the day has come and we're all just exhausted and pressing through the motions so we can get to bed and start over the next day.
Until she started public school, I was highly involved in my daughter's learning experiences. And I loved it. I hoped I would adjust to her going off to school. Society says I am supposed to; age 5 is when children are expected to leave the family home for as many as 8 hours per day to begin their structured educations. But it just felt like something had been stolen, from all of us. And when my sweet girl was bullied, and coming home with an education I did not sign up for, it only made things feel more wrong. But at the same time, she thrived academically and undeniably had wonderful teachers. I did not want to take that experience from her by encouraging her to follow my heart; I want her to follow her own heart.
I guess I didn't realize just how much I truly wanted her to want to do homeschool with us. I kept asking over and over to make sure, and her decision did not waver. And since our decision was made, our home has been filled with more happiness than we've collectively experienced for some time. I no longer dread the start of school, I look forward to it excitedly as we begin our new journey as a family, the way I feel it ought to be. For us.
And the curriculum? Fantastic! I have a great deal to say about that, and I will soon.
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