The K12 page featured the following question this morning:
Finish this sentence: The reason our family chose online school for our educational needs is ...
I love answering this question, because we all feel really happy with our experience thus far. Homeschooling my children was something I gave a bit of consideration to from the moment I found out I was expecting, though I wasn't entirely certain it was for us. For starters, with the exception of being an assistant to my Psychology professor during First Year Seminars at Penn State, I basically had no teaching experience at all - and what little I did have wasn't very relatable to teaching young children. I realized that most homeschooling families probably didn't have parents with teaching degrees, either, but I didn't even have the benefit of personally knowing someone who homeschooled. The extent of my experience with this type of learning was based purely in stereotypical viewpoints and jokes made on television shows.
As my daughter neared the end of preschool years, I felt immense trepidation about putting her into the public school system. I'm aware of the growing epidemic of bullying, my children's quirks, and how those issues might not mesh so well. Since education is a very high priority for me, and my children both love to learn, my second greatest fear was that negative school experiences could ruin that for them. But we tried it, both because Reezle had done so well in her mainstream preschool and because she expressed great enthusiasm about going to Kindergarten and riding the big yellow school bus. And sadly, and one might also say predictably, problems emerged before the year was half through. Academically, she excelled. Socially, she did well, but still managed to be a frequent victim of bullying. It got to the point I was afraid every time the phone rang during school hours because I dreaded the principal's voice on the other end telling me which kid hurt my daughter this time and how.
It became evident that homeschooling was due some additional consideration, particularly since also struggled deeply with the massive disconnect fostered by the traditional public school system. I wanted to be more directly involved in my children's education experience, especially since I always had been involved in their learning and know how to work within their different (er, wildly different?) learning styles. Both of my children are advanced learners, and I wanted them to have a rich educational experience. I didn't feel the public schools could provide it adequately, nor did I agree with the fact that gifted programs didn't even begin until grade 3. Furthermore, with my son's various challenges (speech, sensory, autism), I knew there could never be the type of one-on-one interaction that would allow him to thrive the way I knew he was capable of.
I began researching various curricula available to determine if there would be a good fit for our family. K12 kept popping up in my searches, so I decided to look into what they offered. From the start, I was really impressed. The curriculum was exceptional compared to all the others I had looked into. There were options to buy the curriculum or enroll in an online, teacher-guided virtual academy. Right then, I knew this was exactly what we needed; I could provide my children with an excellent curriculum while also have the safety net, so to speak, of lesson plans, experienced teacher contacts, and technical support. The unbelievably awesome bonus? We received over 100 pounds of school books, materials, and supplies...absolutely 100% free. I must have saved a fortune, which freed up money to enrich our curriculum even further.
K12 gives my children the opportunity to work at their own pace and seek out enrichment and curriculum enhancement opportunities or explore in greater depth their own areas of interest. They love learning in the comfort of their own home and we all love the freedom we have to hold "class" anywhere we choose. I no longer have to worry about what kind of peer-perpetrated abuse my child has been subjected to every time the phone rings. If we miss bedtime by an hour and sleep in because of it, we simply work an hour longer. We don't concern ourselves with sick days, because they won't miss anything. And it seems the list of reasons we love this program just keeps growing over time.
So, on this last day of November 2011, I am thankful for having the opportunity to homeschool my children, and for the outstanding curriculum offered through K12. (I also highly recommend it to anyone looking at alternatives to traditional schools!)
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Learning and Language
Teaching my son is ridiculously easy most of the time. He loves to learn, absorbs information like a little sponge, and is advanced enough in his math and language arts skills to help his sister when she gets stuck on something. Only rarely do we encounter any difficulties, and when we do it is always in language arts.
Little G's challenges in language arts are not due to the fact that the material is beyond him, or that he has any difficulty with comprehension; he is a year ahead of his peers. The challenge we face is directly related to his communication disorder. Our sticking points have been with getting him to understand when a sentence is a command, a question, an exclamation, or a telling sentence. More recently, he has difficulty with the positions of letters in certain spelling words. Based on these two challenges, I have realized that (a) my son does not rely on the sound of a person's voice for his information, but instead interprets what he hears as-is using logical cues, and (b) the way his brain processes the sounds he hears when a word is spoken to him (dictation for spelling words) sometimes results in him having the correct letters but putting them in the incorrect order. Since his earliest expressions of spoken language came out flipped in an almost identical manner, this is not a surprise at all.
Visually, Little G does great with spelling words. If it is something he has read in the past, he can spell it almost without fail. Similarly, if he is skilled at sounding out words - not in the phonics sense, but the actual correct spellings based on the rules of English and grammar he is familiar with from experience. Because of his speech disorder and his inability to make the thoughts in his brain form coherent speech on demand, especially when he is experiencing negative emotions (sadness, frustration), I spent a great deal of time teaching him sign language and handwriting so he had other communication options. We have been working on non-speech communication since we was 2 years old, and he has picked up an incredible amount in the past 4 years. He's gifted, no doubt, but I think his need to communicate helped.
We haven't seen his speech therapist in about a year, but she was absolutely wonderful. Her understanding of the various things which can affect speech acquisition and language went, in my opinion, far above and beyond what would be expected of any therapist. It was clear that her work was not simply a paycheck, but something she was called to do in life. Several times since our school year began, I have wished I could ask her questions about these language aspects of G's learning. I hesitated, knowing how much she already has on her plate, especially since my son is no longer part of that center. But finally this afternoon I thought, what the heck, why not? The worst she could do is refuse to talk to me, though I didn't think she would. So I waited until the end of the day, when I knew there would be no more appointments, and I called. She was just as kind and helpful as ever, and gave me a few great ideas to try with Little G. I will be starting them tomorrow. I got everything together after the kids went to bed tonight and I'm looking forward to finding out how this works (I will explain in a later post). She told me I could give her a call again if I had other questions, and I thanked her sincerely.
It was so nice that someone who owed us nothing at this point still cared enough to offer a few minutes of her time and some helpful suggestions. I've become used to the type of people who wash their hands and don't offer so much as a backwards glance the moment their necessary involvement is done.
In other Little G academic news, he knocked out about a full unit's worth of math in the past two days, and my Kindergartner is now just about where first graders (who started this course material in August) are, despite beginning 5-6 weeks after them. I am super proud of him!
My little Reezle girl has been up to some very cool things recently as well, and I will be sharing soon.
Little G's challenges in language arts are not due to the fact that the material is beyond him, or that he has any difficulty with comprehension; he is a year ahead of his peers. The challenge we face is directly related to his communication disorder. Our sticking points have been with getting him to understand when a sentence is a command, a question, an exclamation, or a telling sentence. More recently, he has difficulty with the positions of letters in certain spelling words. Based on these two challenges, I have realized that (a) my son does not rely on the sound of a person's voice for his information, but instead interprets what he hears as-is using logical cues, and (b) the way his brain processes the sounds he hears when a word is spoken to him (dictation for spelling words) sometimes results in him having the correct letters but putting them in the incorrect order. Since his earliest expressions of spoken language came out flipped in an almost identical manner, this is not a surprise at all.
Visually, Little G does great with spelling words. If it is something he has read in the past, he can spell it almost without fail. Similarly, if he is skilled at sounding out words - not in the phonics sense, but the actual correct spellings based on the rules of English and grammar he is familiar with from experience. Because of his speech disorder and his inability to make the thoughts in his brain form coherent speech on demand, especially when he is experiencing negative emotions (sadness, frustration), I spent a great deal of time teaching him sign language and handwriting so he had other communication options. We have been working on non-speech communication since we was 2 years old, and he has picked up an incredible amount in the past 4 years. He's gifted, no doubt, but I think his need to communicate helped.
We haven't seen his speech therapist in about a year, but she was absolutely wonderful. Her understanding of the various things which can affect speech acquisition and language went, in my opinion, far above and beyond what would be expected of any therapist. It was clear that her work was not simply a paycheck, but something she was called to do in life. Several times since our school year began, I have wished I could ask her questions about these language aspects of G's learning. I hesitated, knowing how much she already has on her plate, especially since my son is no longer part of that center. But finally this afternoon I thought, what the heck, why not? The worst she could do is refuse to talk to me, though I didn't think she would. So I waited until the end of the day, when I knew there would be no more appointments, and I called. She was just as kind and helpful as ever, and gave me a few great ideas to try with Little G. I will be starting them tomorrow. I got everything together after the kids went to bed tonight and I'm looking forward to finding out how this works (I will explain in a later post). She told me I could give her a call again if I had other questions, and I thanked her sincerely.
It was so nice that someone who owed us nothing at this point still cared enough to offer a few minutes of her time and some helpful suggestions. I've become used to the type of people who wash their hands and don't offer so much as a backwards glance the moment their necessary involvement is done.
In other Little G academic news, he knocked out about a full unit's worth of math in the past two days, and my Kindergartner is now just about where first graders (who started this course material in August) are, despite beginning 5-6 weeks after them. I am super proud of him!
My little Reezle girl has been up to some very cool things recently as well, and I will be sharing soon.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Bullying and Bullicide: A National Epidemic
According to the Youth Suicide Prevention Program, 1 in 10 high school students report at least one suicide attempt, and about 1 in 4 has seriously considered it. Let that resonate for a moment. Think about your typical high school classroom of approximately 20 students. Two of them have actually made an attempt to end their lives. The statistics are even more dismal for LGBT youth, 30% of whom report having attempted suicide at least once in the past year.
Ashlynn Conner, a smart, beautiful 10 year-old honor student who aspired to be a veterinarian when she grew up, made headlines last week. It wasn't for her academic success or achievement, or the type of news clipping she might frame and look back on through the years; after enduring bullying for two years and being told by her mother that she could not be homeschooled, Ashlynn decided to end her own life. While every story of a bullied child turning to suicide as an option is devastating, this one has left me chilled to the core. She was a little girl. Ashlynn was just two years older than my own daughter. I try to wrap my head around the idea of a child so young carrying such a heavy burden on her shoulders that she went as far as to end her life. No child deserves that. Her story has made me more determined than ever to do what I can to stand against bullying and encourage others to do the same.
Another young girl, 14 year-old Cheyanne of Ohio, endured verbal abuse and bullying by her teacher and teacher aid. What makes this even more troubling is that Cheyanne is developmentally disabled and these adults were the ones responsible for her education and safety during the school day.
While my own children are not in a bricks and mortar school, and some might think it would be easy for me to turn my back on the problem happening in public schools, I realize it is up to all of us to come together and turn this epidemic around. The effects of bullying can be lifelong, life-altering, or even life-ending. As the adults in this society, we all have the responsibility of ensuring the safety of our children. Just because bullying is a form of abuse perpetrated by other children, it is no more acceptable to ignore it than it would be to ignore obvious abuse of a child by an adult. Abuse is abuse, and it scars just the same. Too many people choose to turn away from this epidemic until it affects them personally, and saying nothing is essentially a quiet acceptance and granting of permission to the perpetrators of bullying; bullies realize that there are no guaranteed consequences for their actions, because most of it goes unpunished.
Not every parent can take their child out of public schools, and really, they should not need to. My daughter, a kind, compassionate child who cannot comprehend why all people cannot just be friends, was a victim of bullying during Kindergarten and first grade at our local elementary school. She was verbally harassed, spat on, and pelted in the face with snowballs to the point of injury. Responses appeared to be more to placate than to solve the actual problem. The district loosely followed its own guidelines on handling the bullying, and I suspect that the less than optimal results we got were only as good as they were because of my determined persistence.
I do not entirely blame the schools, however. Bullying has long been viewed as a fact of life for school-age children, and the extremely broad spectrum of types and degrees of bullying behavior allows even more disconnect because people tend to assume most bullying is of the garden variety and much less severe and impactful than it actually is.
So what are we to do? First and foremost, prevention starts at home; after all, parents have the greatest impact on their children. Sadly, even concerned parents too often consider bullying a fact of school life or a "harmless" rite of passage. Statistics on bullicide, suicide resulting from bullying, say otherwise. And there are the parents who believe that their child should become the bully, which will protect him or her by default. There is also the growing threat of technology as a bullying tool, which is like giving bullies super powers. It is more important than ever to take every preventive measure we can. Lives depend on it, as Ashlynn and so many others illustrate.
And yet, in some places right here in the United States, we're going backwards. Michigan's senate recently passed legislation called Matt's Safe School Law, which actually allows bullying for religious or moral reasons. This means that a bully can excuse his or her abuse of another peer as long as it can be justified within the parameters of supposed morality, as defined by the new legislation. In response to this, Michigan Democratic Senate Leader Sen. Gretchen Whitmer said, "This is worse than doing nothing."
If we are not part of the solution, we are part of the problem. There is no middle ground. If we pretend this doesn't exist, if we ignore it because it has not touched our lives personally or we hope our children will outgrow this phase, we are just as guilty as the bullies perpetrating the abuse. We are the example, and we are the solution. Schools are responsible for the children in their halls and classrooms and on their playgrounds for a substantial portion of the day. No child should be terrified to go to school, or end up robbed of a decent education because their school days make them sick with anxiety and fear. Likewise, parents cannot expect the schools to shoulder all of the responsibility for properly "socializing" their children. This is a joint effort, and I cannot stress enough the importance of creating a safe environment for our children to grow and learn. The effects of bullying can last a lifetime.
Talk. Whether you are dealing with a bullying situation already underway, or you are trying to prevent one, talking to your child is key.
Don't judge. Even if you think you aren't judging, you might be. Don't ever tell your child that bullying is "no big deal", or that they should be quick enough to fight back. By doing this, you diminish their experience and fail to fully understand what they are going through. This could burn the bridge of communication between you.
Listen. Once bullying starts, listening is more important than talking. If you are busy telling your child that bullying is a part of life or that "it's not a big deal", you are completely invalidating your child's experience and missing critical details that could potentially save your child's life. Hear them out. Ask them what they would like to change, and how they might like you to help them. Create a dialogue by asking more questions than you try to answer. And make sure you are listening attentively. Listening with your back to your child while you do the dishes is not listening.
Know your school district's bullying policies. Be familiar with them so you know your rights in the event you need to know your rights. Most student policies are listed on district websites and are easily accessible to the parents and students in the district.
Consider joining the PTA/PTO and raising the issue of bullying prevention, or go further and try to get a group of parents together to start a school anti-bullying program.
Encourage your school district to adopt a program where children learn social skills. With autism spectrum disorders being diagnosed at an increasing rate, there are many children who need additional help with social skills even if their diagnosis does not qualify them for special education or other school-based interventions. In fact, all children can benefit from being taught social skills. We can no more expect that putting children together in a group will prepare them to do well socially than we can expect that putting them in a kitchen with unprepared foods will teach them how to cook like a professional chef. Guidance must be provided. If children cannot cope socially, neither can they learn or succeed academically.
Know that bullying starts shockingly young. Don't dismiss a child who says she is being bullied in preschool. It does happen, and it can be a traumatic way to begin one's school years. Having confidence and support during those early years is critical to how your child will view the rest of their school years and education in general.
To learn more about bullying, especially in the age of technology, I encourage you to watch Bullying: Words Can Kill, a CBS News 48 Hours Special
Ashlynn Conner, a smart, beautiful 10 year-old honor student who aspired to be a veterinarian when she grew up, made headlines last week. It wasn't for her academic success or achievement, or the type of news clipping she might frame and look back on through the years; after enduring bullying for two years and being told by her mother that she could not be homeschooled, Ashlynn decided to end her own life. While every story of a bullied child turning to suicide as an option is devastating, this one has left me chilled to the core. She was a little girl. Ashlynn was just two years older than my own daughter. I try to wrap my head around the idea of a child so young carrying such a heavy burden on her shoulders that she went as far as to end her life. No child deserves that. Her story has made me more determined than ever to do what I can to stand against bullying and encourage others to do the same.
Another young girl, 14 year-old Cheyanne of Ohio, endured verbal abuse and bullying by her teacher and teacher aid. What makes this even more troubling is that Cheyanne is developmentally disabled and these adults were the ones responsible for her education and safety during the school day.
While my own children are not in a bricks and mortar school, and some might think it would be easy for me to turn my back on the problem happening in public schools, I realize it is up to all of us to come together and turn this epidemic around. The effects of bullying can be lifelong, life-altering, or even life-ending. As the adults in this society, we all have the responsibility of ensuring the safety of our children. Just because bullying is a form of abuse perpetrated by other children, it is no more acceptable to ignore it than it would be to ignore obvious abuse of a child by an adult. Abuse is abuse, and it scars just the same. Too many people choose to turn away from this epidemic until it affects them personally, and saying nothing is essentially a quiet acceptance and granting of permission to the perpetrators of bullying; bullies realize that there are no guaranteed consequences for their actions, because most of it goes unpunished.
Not every parent can take their child out of public schools, and really, they should not need to. My daughter, a kind, compassionate child who cannot comprehend why all people cannot just be friends, was a victim of bullying during Kindergarten and first grade at our local elementary school. She was verbally harassed, spat on, and pelted in the face with snowballs to the point of injury. Responses appeared to be more to placate than to solve the actual problem. The district loosely followed its own guidelines on handling the bullying, and I suspect that the less than optimal results we got were only as good as they were because of my determined persistence.
I do not entirely blame the schools, however. Bullying has long been viewed as a fact of life for school-age children, and the extremely broad spectrum of types and degrees of bullying behavior allows even more disconnect because people tend to assume most bullying is of the garden variety and much less severe and impactful than it actually is.
So what are we to do? First and foremost, prevention starts at home; after all, parents have the greatest impact on their children. Sadly, even concerned parents too often consider bullying a fact of school life or a "harmless" rite of passage. Statistics on bullicide, suicide resulting from bullying, say otherwise. And there are the parents who believe that their child should become the bully, which will protect him or her by default. There is also the growing threat of technology as a bullying tool, which is like giving bullies super powers. It is more important than ever to take every preventive measure we can. Lives depend on it, as Ashlynn and so many others illustrate.
And yet, in some places right here in the United States, we're going backwards. Michigan's senate recently passed legislation called Matt's Safe School Law, which actually allows bullying for religious or moral reasons. This means that a bully can excuse his or her abuse of another peer as long as it can be justified within the parameters of supposed morality, as defined by the new legislation. In response to this, Michigan Democratic Senate Leader Sen. Gretchen Whitmer said, "This is worse than doing nothing."
If we are not part of the solution, we are part of the problem. There is no middle ground. If we pretend this doesn't exist, if we ignore it because it has not touched our lives personally or we hope our children will outgrow this phase, we are just as guilty as the bullies perpetrating the abuse. We are the example, and we are the solution. Schools are responsible for the children in their halls and classrooms and on their playgrounds for a substantial portion of the day. No child should be terrified to go to school, or end up robbed of a decent education because their school days make them sick with anxiety and fear. Likewise, parents cannot expect the schools to shoulder all of the responsibility for properly "socializing" their children. This is a joint effort, and I cannot stress enough the importance of creating a safe environment for our children to grow and learn. The effects of bullying can last a lifetime.
Talk. Whether you are dealing with a bullying situation already underway, or you are trying to prevent one, talking to your child is key.
Don't judge. Even if you think you aren't judging, you might be. Don't ever tell your child that bullying is "no big deal", or that they should be quick enough to fight back. By doing this, you diminish their experience and fail to fully understand what they are going through. This could burn the bridge of communication between you.
Listen. Once bullying starts, listening is more important than talking. If you are busy telling your child that bullying is a part of life or that "it's not a big deal", you are completely invalidating your child's experience and missing critical details that could potentially save your child's life. Hear them out. Ask them what they would like to change, and how they might like you to help them. Create a dialogue by asking more questions than you try to answer. And make sure you are listening attentively. Listening with your back to your child while you do the dishes is not listening.
Know your school district's bullying policies. Be familiar with them so you know your rights in the event you need to know your rights. Most student policies are listed on district websites and are easily accessible to the parents and students in the district.
Consider joining the PTA/PTO and raising the issue of bullying prevention, or go further and try to get a group of parents together to start a school anti-bullying program.
Encourage your school district to adopt a program where children learn social skills. With autism spectrum disorders being diagnosed at an increasing rate, there are many children who need additional help with social skills even if their diagnosis does not qualify them for special education or other school-based interventions. In fact, all children can benefit from being taught social skills. We can no more expect that putting children together in a group will prepare them to do well socially than we can expect that putting them in a kitchen with unprepared foods will teach them how to cook like a professional chef. Guidance must be provided. If children cannot cope socially, neither can they learn or succeed academically.
Know that bullying starts shockingly young. Don't dismiss a child who says she is being bullied in preschool. It does happen, and it can be a traumatic way to begin one's school years. Having confidence and support during those early years is critical to how your child will view the rest of their school years and education in general.
To learn more about bullying, especially in the age of technology, I encourage you to watch Bullying: Words Can Kill, a CBS News 48 Hours Special
Friday, November 11, 2011
Five Months Later
Out of nowhere, five months after my daughter last walked the halls of a bricks and mortar school building, she informs me that one of the two playground monitors at her former school prohibited her from sitting down. My first reaction was what!? "Yeah, sometimes my legs would get tired and my brain would get tired and I just wanted to sit down and think. She would come over and tell me to get up. Sometimes I tried to sit where she couldn't see me, but she was usually right there where the seats were. She never let me sit. Only if we had a headache or something."
While I understand the value of children getting out and getting moving, as mine often do with great enthusiasm, my daughter has a couple of extremely valid reasons for needing a break. One is that she is on the autism spectrum. Though mildly affected, the social and sensory aspects of the diagnosis can become overwhelming in crowds or when the pace is extremely fast. For a child on the autism spectrum, a few short minutes on the playground can be more exhausting than a couple of hours of bike riding or other more solitary, focused play. The second reason is that, like her brother, she also has some issues with mild hypotonia, or low muscle tone. This is a disorder that is not fixed with exercise, and may cause children to tire more easily depending on how and to what extent they are affected.
Some children with her diagnoses will act out with undesirable behaviors, unable to express or even understand their needs in those moments. My daughter understood her social and sensory limitations, opted to take a break to calm down and refocus so she could "calm [her] brain" before going back with her friends, and was prevented from doing this. R did tell me on numerous occasions that she didn't play with certain friends or do the things she wanted on the playground because "everyone just moves too fast". Effectively, the playground monitor was removing the only tool my daughter had to deal with the situation, and she was miserable.
Reezle is slow, methodical, and deliberate in what she does. She contemplates, thinks things through, and is slow to anger or frustration. She has a very good sense of herself and others, as well as how to best soothe herself in overwhelming situations. We have tried our best to help our children find the tools they need to navigate the world successfully. What she wanted was not unreasonable for any child to ask, but especially a first grader dealing with as much "input" as a busy playground (and all of its weather variants) has to offer.
Perhaps I wouldn't have felt my blood boil instantly if there was not already a history with that woman. She stood by as my daughter got pelted in the face with rock snowballs by another student when she was in Kindergarten; Reezle came home with a welt and a scratch about an inch from her eye and no one had done a thing about it. The same child spat on my daughter at lunch, apparently because my daughter just wanted to be friends and the girl did not. Reezle cannot understand why all people can't just be friends and care about one another, and this crushed her. The playground monitors are also the lunch monitors, and again nothing was done. There were other more minor things as well, so I was already not a fan of the woman.
I can say, heartfelt and happily, that removing my children from the bricks-and-mortar public school system was the absolute best parenting decision of my life thus far. There never seems to be a shortage of things to remind me and confirm that. In our homeschool, my children can take a 5-minute recess, or an hour. They can sit when they want, swing, ride a bicycle, or as the seasons change they can make snow angels and build snowmen. Extra layers or fewer, hot cocoa or a cool drink, and a hug from mama when they're done. But I can guarantee no one is going to tell them they can't sit down if they need to.
Five months and I'm still finding reasons to be angry at the way my child was treated. Five months and things are still surfacing that I didn't know. No, there is no way I could have ever tossed my son into that snake pit. And for that matter, I never should have allowed my daughter to be subjected to it, either. There are better ways to socialize, with actual caring supervision, and socialization is about the weakest argument for public schools anyhow.
On a brighter, much more fun note, the number nerd in me is pretty excited about today's date: 11/11/11. Enjoy!
While I understand the value of children getting out and getting moving, as mine often do with great enthusiasm, my daughter has a couple of extremely valid reasons for needing a break. One is that she is on the autism spectrum. Though mildly affected, the social and sensory aspects of the diagnosis can become overwhelming in crowds or when the pace is extremely fast. For a child on the autism spectrum, a few short minutes on the playground can be more exhausting than a couple of hours of bike riding or other more solitary, focused play. The second reason is that, like her brother, she also has some issues with mild hypotonia, or low muscle tone. This is a disorder that is not fixed with exercise, and may cause children to tire more easily depending on how and to what extent they are affected.
Some children with her diagnoses will act out with undesirable behaviors, unable to express or even understand their needs in those moments. My daughter understood her social and sensory limitations, opted to take a break to calm down and refocus so she could "calm [her] brain" before going back with her friends, and was prevented from doing this. R did tell me on numerous occasions that she didn't play with certain friends or do the things she wanted on the playground because "everyone just moves too fast". Effectively, the playground monitor was removing the only tool my daughter had to deal with the situation, and she was miserable.
Reezle is slow, methodical, and deliberate in what she does. She contemplates, thinks things through, and is slow to anger or frustration. She has a very good sense of herself and others, as well as how to best soothe herself in overwhelming situations. We have tried our best to help our children find the tools they need to navigate the world successfully. What she wanted was not unreasonable for any child to ask, but especially a first grader dealing with as much "input" as a busy playground (and all of its weather variants) has to offer.
Perhaps I wouldn't have felt my blood boil instantly if there was not already a history with that woman. She stood by as my daughter got pelted in the face with rock snowballs by another student when she was in Kindergarten; Reezle came home with a welt and a scratch about an inch from her eye and no one had done a thing about it. The same child spat on my daughter at lunch, apparently because my daughter just wanted to be friends and the girl did not. Reezle cannot understand why all people can't just be friends and care about one another, and this crushed her. The playground monitors are also the lunch monitors, and again nothing was done. There were other more minor things as well, so I was already not a fan of the woman.
I can say, heartfelt and happily, that removing my children from the bricks-and-mortar public school system was the absolute best parenting decision of my life thus far. There never seems to be a shortage of things to remind me and confirm that. In our homeschool, my children can take a 5-minute recess, or an hour. They can sit when they want, swing, ride a bicycle, or as the seasons change they can make snow angels and build snowmen. Extra layers or fewer, hot cocoa or a cool drink, and a hug from mama when they're done. But I can guarantee no one is going to tell them they can't sit down if they need to.
Five months and I'm still finding reasons to be angry at the way my child was treated. Five months and things are still surfacing that I didn't know. No, there is no way I could have ever tossed my son into that snake pit. And for that matter, I never should have allowed my daughter to be subjected to it, either. There are better ways to socialize, with actual caring supervision, and socialization is about the weakest argument for public schools anyhow.
On a brighter, much more fun note, the number nerd in me is pretty excited about today's date: 11/11/11. Enjoy!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Beautiful Autumn Days
The phone rang just before 5AM today. It was my husband's work calling, as sometimes happens. I couldn't find sleep again, so I figured it would be a good time to assess where we're at with school and put together a plan for getting back on track in terms of what the online school says we should be doing.
Every day, my children have some form of Language Arts. We read every day, taking turns. We have Technology daily as well, because I allow at least 30 minutes each day of educational computer games. This is a special interest for my son, who really enjoys ABCya and iXL. Another favorite of his is a website that allows him to put together meals and desserts with various ingredients. The boy loves to cook! My daughter loves it, too.
We also have music daily, because the kids and I just love music. It is a great way to boost energy ad improve mood in mere minutes with very little effort. Since the three of us love hooping, we usually take breaks by turning on some of the kids' favorite tunes and hooping for 20-40 minutes each day. We're all better prepared to focus on school work afterward, and it's keeping us fit and healthy. Since we can hoop indoors, even though it is more fun to hoop outdoors, it's a great activity for staying fit and active during the winter months. Nature has been very generous so far this year, though; the incredibly beautiful and warm autumn days might be part of the reason we're a tad behind on some of the OLS items. You know, maybe. Heh. But in this snowy part of the world, November doesn't typically offer much in the way of gorgeous autumn days that beg us to open all the doors and windows and head outside to hoop and swing. We're taking advantage when we can, before the snow starts falling. And I love the smell of autumn. Except when people are burning leaves, I could do without that.
Today is pleasant, but overcast and somewhat gloomy. Reezle noted that the trees are quite bare now, though the remaining leaves are putting on quite a colorful show for us. The yellows and reds are absolutely brilliant and photo-worthy. Too bad my good camera is in need of major repairs. We took the gloomy day coupled with the 5AM start to my day as an opportunity to do a lot of work and catch up. Reezle really worked hard today, tackling several lessons in Math, Language Arts, Music, History, and Science. No complaints at all! I'm so proud of her. She is currently enjoying some free time on the computer since the majority of her lessons today did not involve a lot of screen time.
Little G spent most of the day curled up in the recliner with Reezle's Math workbook. He copies problems out of there onto scrap paper and asks me to print him worksheets. When Reezle gets stuck on a problem, he helps her understand it. The boy amazes me. He definitely did not get the math genes from Mama. He also helped Reezle with some of her spelling, as he has been doing since early last year. He picks things up so fast that there is very little effort involved in teaching him anything. Reezle does get frustrated with him, though. She is very bright herself, so being corrected by her brother, who is two years younger, doesn't always sit well. He just can't seem to help himself. I guess if there is some good to be found in it, the sibling rivalry element sure beats bullying, and it does seem to inspire Reezle to push herself more to really grasp the material. A little healthy competition is fine, as long as no one starts having self-esteem issues. So far, that doesn't appear to be the case.
My daughter is happier than she was last year. She does miss her friends, but she isn't having tummy aches all the time and is no longer extremely moody. She smiles more, enjoys her studying, and says that I make it fun. That warms my heart. Little G, well, I stand by the belief that traditional schools would not have been able to handle him. He gets so frustrated, even with first grade math, because he knows (or learns after one quick explanation) most of the material. He does not appear to be challenged even by his sister's second grade math, which he actually helps her with when she gets stuck. Too bad his conceptual understanding and whatever it is that goes on in his head doesn't translate well into actually teaching others; he becomes impatient rather quickly when others don't understand things as rapidly as he does. Boy, I suspect he is going to be a handful as he gets older!
We're all looking forward to the holidays while at the same time enjoying these amazing days that autumn is offering up before the snow flies. We've been fortunate not to have any of the white stuff yet. It's difficult to look forward to it when I know it's going to stick around until April. But at least the warmth of the holidays helps dampen the effects of the bitter chill and brighten even these dark days as the sun sets much too early for our liking.
After completing our first 9 weeks of homeschool and being well on our way into the next 9 weeks, we're all still enjoying our adventure...including watching the bus go by without making a stop here! It feels right being together and learning as a family. Yes, it can be hard work sometimes, but I can say without any doubt that this was absolutely the best choice for all of us.
Every day, my children have some form of Language Arts. We read every day, taking turns. We have Technology daily as well, because I allow at least 30 minutes each day of educational computer games. This is a special interest for my son, who really enjoys ABCya and iXL. Another favorite of his is a website that allows him to put together meals and desserts with various ingredients. The boy loves to cook! My daughter loves it, too.
We also have music daily, because the kids and I just love music. It is a great way to boost energy ad improve mood in mere minutes with very little effort. Since the three of us love hooping, we usually take breaks by turning on some of the kids' favorite tunes and hooping for 20-40 minutes each day. We're all better prepared to focus on school work afterward, and it's keeping us fit and healthy. Since we can hoop indoors, even though it is more fun to hoop outdoors, it's a great activity for staying fit and active during the winter months. Nature has been very generous so far this year, though; the incredibly beautiful and warm autumn days might be part of the reason we're a tad behind on some of the OLS items. You know, maybe. Heh. But in this snowy part of the world, November doesn't typically offer much in the way of gorgeous autumn days that beg us to open all the doors and windows and head outside to hoop and swing. We're taking advantage when we can, before the snow starts falling. And I love the smell of autumn. Except when people are burning leaves, I could do without that.
Today is pleasant, but overcast and somewhat gloomy. Reezle noted that the trees are quite bare now, though the remaining leaves are putting on quite a colorful show for us. The yellows and reds are absolutely brilliant and photo-worthy. Too bad my good camera is in need of major repairs. We took the gloomy day coupled with the 5AM start to my day as an opportunity to do a lot of work and catch up. Reezle really worked hard today, tackling several lessons in Math, Language Arts, Music, History, and Science. No complaints at all! I'm so proud of her. She is currently enjoying some free time on the computer since the majority of her lessons today did not involve a lot of screen time.
Little G spent most of the day curled up in the recliner with Reezle's Math workbook. He copies problems out of there onto scrap paper and asks me to print him worksheets. When Reezle gets stuck on a problem, he helps her understand it. The boy amazes me. He definitely did not get the math genes from Mama. He also helped Reezle with some of her spelling, as he has been doing since early last year. He picks things up so fast that there is very little effort involved in teaching him anything. Reezle does get frustrated with him, though. She is very bright herself, so being corrected by her brother, who is two years younger, doesn't always sit well. He just can't seem to help himself. I guess if there is some good to be found in it, the sibling rivalry element sure beats bullying, and it does seem to inspire Reezle to push herself more to really grasp the material. A little healthy competition is fine, as long as no one starts having self-esteem issues. So far, that doesn't appear to be the case.
My daughter is happier than she was last year. She does miss her friends, but she isn't having tummy aches all the time and is no longer extremely moody. She smiles more, enjoys her studying, and says that I make it fun. That warms my heart. Little G, well, I stand by the belief that traditional schools would not have been able to handle him. He gets so frustrated, even with first grade math, because he knows (or learns after one quick explanation) most of the material. He does not appear to be challenged even by his sister's second grade math, which he actually helps her with when she gets stuck. Too bad his conceptual understanding and whatever it is that goes on in his head doesn't translate well into actually teaching others; he becomes impatient rather quickly when others don't understand things as rapidly as he does. Boy, I suspect he is going to be a handful as he gets older!
We're all looking forward to the holidays while at the same time enjoying these amazing days that autumn is offering up before the snow flies. We've been fortunate not to have any of the white stuff yet. It's difficult to look forward to it when I know it's going to stick around until April. But at least the warmth of the holidays helps dampen the effects of the bitter chill and brighten even these dark days as the sun sets much too early for our liking.
After completing our first 9 weeks of homeschool and being well on our way into the next 9 weeks, we're all still enjoying our adventure...including watching the bus go by without making a stop here! It feels right being together and learning as a family. Yes, it can be hard work sometimes, but I can say without any doubt that this was absolutely the best choice for all of us.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Autism and Feelings
Little G came up to me the other night, tugged on my shirt and said, "Mama? I want to tell you about something." I said okay. He said, "When you talk to daddy for a long time, I feel jealous." I asked why. He said, "Because I want your attention and when you are talking with daddy, I can't have your attention all for myself." ♥
Sort of dispels that whole 'autistics don't feel' stereotype, doesn't it?
Sort of dispels that whole 'autistics don't feel' stereotype, doesn't it?
Saturday, November 5, 2011
A Closed Discussion
Going into the homeschooling adventure, I had sort of steeled myself for the inevitable judgments and misconceptions I was sure I would face for the decision to remove my children from public school. The majority support I received was a huge surprise; with very little exception, the reactions have been very positive. That is, unless you count the people in our former school district.
What I didn't expect was the reaction I got from a friend of 17 years, with whom I have always been able to talk about anything. When I first mentioned, in response to why I haven't had a lot of time for friends lately, that I had been busy teaching my children, I got no response at all. We were chatting online at that time, and I didn't think much of it. The abrupt silence did make me wonder, but I'm not one to create problems where none exist.
Recently, when I did have a few minutes to myself and we talked on the phone, our conversation moved into the realm of what we've been doing lately. I said, "Same as I said before, I've been keeping very busy teaching the kids. It's time-consuming, but they love it and so do I." Again there was no response, so I said, "I'm getting a vibe here. You seem to go silent when I mention homeschooling." I mentioned our online conversation. The response was, "Yeah, I just don't agree with it." The implied was that there would be no discussing homeschooling. And it just didn't sit well with me.
For 17 years, my friend and I have agreed and disagreed on many things. I accept my friend, despite some things (i.e. judging others, selfishness, narrow thinking) I may not necessarily care for. Overall, I consider my friend to be a good person and I realize that people experience and view the world differently. So I have to admit that it bothers me more than a little that homeschooling is a closed topic. We've never had a closed topic. We've been able to have disagreements, wildly different opinions, and even arguments throughout the time we've known each other. I am not opposed to hearing a good counterpoint from my friend, but the anti-homeschooling sentiment seems to have no basis whatsoever. If there were reasons, or even just one single tiny reason, I would listen and do my best to understand. But I have been refused that opportunity.
My friend's refusal to even disagree with me feels highly critical and judgmental; even strangers who disagree with my choices will at least debate me or provide a reason for their disagreement. It seems extremely stifling and unfair that my friend can talk for hours about life and work, or anything that comes to mind, while I am essentially forbidden to discuss teaching my children and the wonderful benefits (like my son being a full grade level ahead in Math, Phonics, and Language Arts, or the confidence that is returning in my daughter after being free from the bullying she endured during her two years of public school). I hesitate to discuss anything which might lead into the topic of school or learning. Or, at this point, anything at all. My friend has absolutely no experience with homeschooling, and does not have nor want children. That makes this silent criticism even worse.
Why am I sharing this? Aside from the fact that it's cathartic to get these thoughts out of my head, this story also illustrates some of the utterly mindless and hurtful reactions some people have to homeschoolers. While I can only guess the basis for my friend's extreme distaste for homeschooling is related to the myth that children need public schools to 'become socialized', I can say with certainty that these misconceptions really need to go. The only way they ever will is if people talk and others listen. I will continue to talk about homeschooling.
And if you've read this far, thank you for listening.
What I didn't expect was the reaction I got from a friend of 17 years, with whom I have always been able to talk about anything. When I first mentioned, in response to why I haven't had a lot of time for friends lately, that I had been busy teaching my children, I got no response at all. We were chatting online at that time, and I didn't think much of it. The abrupt silence did make me wonder, but I'm not one to create problems where none exist.
Recently, when I did have a few minutes to myself and we talked on the phone, our conversation moved into the realm of what we've been doing lately. I said, "Same as I said before, I've been keeping very busy teaching the kids. It's time-consuming, but they love it and so do I." Again there was no response, so I said, "I'm getting a vibe here. You seem to go silent when I mention homeschooling." I mentioned our online conversation. The response was, "Yeah, I just don't agree with it." The implied was that there would be no discussing homeschooling. And it just didn't sit well with me.
For 17 years, my friend and I have agreed and disagreed on many things. I accept my friend, despite some things (i.e. judging others, selfishness, narrow thinking) I may not necessarily care for. Overall, I consider my friend to be a good person and I realize that people experience and view the world differently. So I have to admit that it bothers me more than a little that homeschooling is a closed topic. We've never had a closed topic. We've been able to have disagreements, wildly different opinions, and even arguments throughout the time we've known each other. I am not opposed to hearing a good counterpoint from my friend, but the anti-homeschooling sentiment seems to have no basis whatsoever. If there were reasons, or even just one single tiny reason, I would listen and do my best to understand. But I have been refused that opportunity.
My friend's refusal to even disagree with me feels highly critical and judgmental; even strangers who disagree with my choices will at least debate me or provide a reason for their disagreement. It seems extremely stifling and unfair that my friend can talk for hours about life and work, or anything that comes to mind, while I am essentially forbidden to discuss teaching my children and the wonderful benefits (like my son being a full grade level ahead in Math, Phonics, and Language Arts, or the confidence that is returning in my daughter after being free from the bullying she endured during her two years of public school). I hesitate to discuss anything which might lead into the topic of school or learning. Or, at this point, anything at all. My friend has absolutely no experience with homeschooling, and does not have nor want children. That makes this silent criticism even worse.
Why am I sharing this? Aside from the fact that it's cathartic to get these thoughts out of my head, this story also illustrates some of the utterly mindless and hurtful reactions some people have to homeschoolers. While I can only guess the basis for my friend's extreme distaste for homeschooling is related to the myth that children need public schools to 'become socialized', I can say with certainty that these misconceptions really need to go. The only way they ever will is if people talk and others listen. I will continue to talk about homeschooling.
And if you've read this far, thank you for listening.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Birthdays
For their birthdays, the kids had a choice: big birthday parties with all the trimmings, or a new computer to share and a modest celebration at home with pizza and homemade cake.
I think they made the right choice. This should also make school go more smoothly, since they no longer have to share a computer. Not that it was a big issue at all, but this will be great incentive to get them to complete their Study Island requirements!
Happy Birthday, homeschoolers!
I think they made the right choice. This should also make school go more smoothly, since they no longer have to share a computer. Not that it was a big issue at all, but this will be great incentive to get them to complete their Study Island requirements!Happy Birthday, homeschoolers!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Autistics Speaking Day
November 1st has been designated as Autistics Speaking Day. (It's also 11/1/11, which is numerically and symmetrically awesome, in my humble opinion.) My son wasn't aware of Autistics Speaking Day, but he did make a contribution which may help to disprove one of the most frustrating stereotypes about people on the autism spectrum. The myth: people with autism feel less than other people. The fact: people with autism feel at least as much as everyone else. My son did a beautiful job of illustrating this point.Little G often uses his magnetic drawing boards to say what he otherwise cannot when his words "won't come out right". He also likes to draw pictures sometimes before bed. The other night, he made this:
I asked what it was about, and he said, "It's called Things I Feel." Top, from left: sad, happy, surprised. Bottom, from left: angry, silly, talky.People with autism often express their feelings differently, or in less obvious or outward ways than typical people, but this doesn't mean they don't feel. Little G might not tell you, "I am so happy right now!" But he probably will draw a picture of himself with a huge smile, surrounded by things that bring him joy.
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