Homeschooling and Feeling Thankful

I think it is easy to go through daily life without truly being thankful we are for what we have in the moment.  Certainly,  I'm among the many who have taken things for granted.  The exception seems to be when we have experienced loss, suffering, pain, or difficult times for a long duration, and then we find ourselves in a situation which brings relief.

Since we started homeschooling through a K12 school, I can honestly say that even on the "worst" of days, I feel thankful and grateful to have the opportunity.  Sure, we get grumpy sometimes, and on occasion there is a difficult lesson that we're all thrilled to just be done with.  For the most part, though, we enjoy life so much more than we did during those two truly miserable years when Reezle attended our local public elementary school. There are no bullies, no revolting odors wafting in from the cafeteria, no morning (with the exception of state testing days) where the kids have to drag themselves out of bed before they're good and rested, and no crammed evenings of stressful rushing through mountains of homework and bath times.

My dad visited yesterday, and we spent most of the day working in the garage.  Because of our amazingly flexible schooling schedule, the kids were able to work ahead this week and had plenty of time to spend with their Papa.  We had a great time, and enjoyed a pizza picnic in the yard under a tree.

Does this count as art class?

After my dad left, the kids and I decided to take a walk through the woods.  On our way there, the school bus (my daughter's previous assigned bus) drove past us.  At that moment, Reezle and I just looked at each other and smiled.  We were grateful.  So grateful.  Having family time is a priceless gift. 

Walking through the woods

We spent the remainder of our blistering hot (I swear, it felt like 100 degrees outside) late afternoon/early evening in the cool woods beneath the shade of the trees, following trails and making our own, hoping to find some cool frogs.  We didn't find frogs, but we found a lot of happiness and reasons to smile and laugh, and fallen trees to play tightrope on.  And I was grateful.  Nothing in this world makes me happier than spending time with my kids and my dad.

Tree walker Reezle

Homeschooling my children has taught me a lot about being grateful in the moment, about their strengths and my own, and proves to all of us on a daily basis that we are capable of accomplishing anything we set our minds to.  Family is so important, especially to young children.  We don't get these precious years back, and I am thankful beyond words that I get to be more of a part of their young years than I would if they were behind the walls of a brick and mortar school.

As an added bonus, we are doing a more independent and family-centered model of the program this year, and they both have the same contact teacher.  She is amazing, someone who truly cares about the families she is working with, and we feel even more fortunate because we have her.  Yes, we have many, many reasons to be thankful.

Recommended links:
http://www.k12.com
http://www.abcya.com

Autism and Expectations

My son is autistic.  He also has a receptive and expressive speech disorder and sensory processing disorder.  This means he has some challenges with social situations, motor development, coordination, communication, understanding, and certain environments (depending on lighting, weather, noise, movement, etc.).  While this sounds like a lot to deal with, and it is for him, it's our normal.  I forget; I don't view him through the lens of any diagnosis unless something requires me to, because it's just not on my radar.  He's just Little G, blue-haired superhero, cat lover, math whiz.  But sometimes, I am reminded.

Reezle, who also has a diagnosis on the autism spectrum, struggled a lot with learning how to pedal a bicycle.  She outgrew her tricycle before ever learning how to pedal it, and we finally bought her a scooter so she could enjoy a ride-on toy until she mastered the art of pedaling.  Though they are two years apart in age, Little G was pedaling like a pro before his sister really got it.  I assumed that riding a bike would always come fairly easy to him.  A big mistake when you're parenting an autistic child is to make assumptions about anything.

By age 7, I was riding a bike with tons of confidence.  This year, I decided, my son was going to learn to ride without training wheels.  I wanted him to have that same confidence, the fun of bike riding that only two wheels can provide.  We could ride on trails, then, I told him.  He liked that idea.  When he got his new green bike, because he finally, just barely outgrew his toddler-size one recently, I told him that I would teach him to ride it without training wheels.  He was stoked.  He was ready.  He was going to do this!

Little G on his new big boy bike

Or, you know, not so much.  I held the back of the bike as we rode around the driveway, becoming quickly aware of the fact that he had absolutely no ability to balance without my assistance.  He's tiny, but that little bike is quite heavy, and it became impossible for me to keep holding him up.  So, on the training wheels went, and we removed the pedals from the previous bike so he can learn to balance.  Little G has decided that he doesn't want to try riding without training wheels until next year.  Fair enough, this is his journey.

I had high expectations because of my own age when I learned to ride a bike without training wheels (I was 6).  Additionally, I recently watched a video of a friend's son, who is days older than Little G, riding like a pro around a bike track without any training wheels.  I immediately thought, hey, this is definitely something 7 year-olds can do, so maybe I'm slacking on the teaching or encouragement here.  But then I remind myself that Little G is not a typical 7 year-old, and it's not a fair comparison.

Little G has his strengths.  He is exceptionally bright, and a very fast, strong runner.  Socially and emotionally he is very young.  That is a point for me to remember as well; he is not the size of a child his age, nor is he socially like children his age.  It's just hard to remember, when I have a 7 year-old doing 4th grade workbooks and speaking with an impressive vocabulary, that he has any limitations.

My outdoor artist

I will keep encouraging him to pursue his talents, and to practice patience where he struggles.  Whether he rides his bike without training wheels doesn't seem to matter much to him, so I need to manage my own expectations.  I never want to underestimate him, but I also don't want to put unreasonable expectations upon him.  But speaking of expectations...

Harvesting some zucchini and tomatoes

Little G has been picking and eating vegetables that he planted in the spring.  "They really grew into food!" he says, every time we go out there.  He says he will be planting even more next year.  He is definitely great at gardening, so I will make sure he has all the room he wants and needs to garden to his heart's content.

The 2013-2014 Academic Year Begins

The 2013-2014 school year has begun, and so far I have some very excited little students.  We began our school day at 10AM for the first day because we can.  It will get earlier as the year progresses, but we're transitioning from summer schedules and I believe in gentle transitions.

Checking out some of their new workbooks for the year

Officially, Reezle is in 4th grade and Little G is in 2nd grade.  They are 9 and 7.  Little G is in 3rd grade language arts and math, and has a goal of being moved into 4th grade by his birthday in December.  Reezle was fairly content to stay at grade level last year, but this year she has a goal of moving into 5th grade math and language arts by mid-year.  Both of them are hoping to be invited to our e-school's version of the gifted program again.  Little G was a bit young for the amount of writing they wanted from him last year, as a 6 year-old, but he is ready this year and his writing has improved dramatically over the summer.

For our extra-curricular enrichment, I've decided to skip Scouts for now.  I'm currently researching our local 4-H, since both of my children are very interested in animals and farming.  It seems to have great potential so far.  Reezle wants to get involved in dance at our local arts center, and Little G is considering it.  He watched some boys tap and ballet videos and he thought it was "awesome".  The next couple of months should be very busy for us, since there really is a lot to do here in the fall.  We're excited to be back in a routine.  And somehow, watching that bus go by and not having to be part of that rat race never stops putting a smile on our faces.

Empowering Women, Not So Much

When people ask me what I "do", they are obviously curious as to what my career is.  By our society's definition, because I homeschool my children and don't dump them in daycare or public schools, I don't "do" anything.  I find that funny, considering that what I do now is often more tiring and requires more mental effort than any job I have held in my life.  I have a college degree and have worked in the mental health field as a counselor.

If I had a career as a childcare worker or a school teacher, people would consider me part of the working world, a person who is contributing to society.  People were always interested when I explained my previous jobs.  When I point out that my job now is raising and educating my children, people say with an undeniable lack of respect, "Oh, so you're a stay-at-home mom."

Of course, there is the other side of the coin; some women think they are better than everyone else because they stay at home, dubbing themselves "domestic engineers".  I find this highly abrasive, as does my husband, who is an actual engineer.  My issue with the term "domestic engineer" has a lot more to do with the fact that people find it necessary to somehow artificially increase the perceived importance of a mother who chooses to parent her child(ren) instead of having someone else do it.  For the record, here's the definition of an engineer from Wikipedia:

An engineer is a professional practitioner of engineering, concerned with applying scientific knowledge, mathematics, and ingenuity to develop solutions for technical problems. Engineers design materials, structures, and systems while considering the limitations imposed by practicality, regulation, safety, and cost.

Why is it more respectable to leave my children in a school or daycare center to go care for or teach someone else's children than it is to be present in my own children's lives and care for and teach them?  There has been a huge movement for a long time to empower women and push for equality, and yet, even women look down upon mothers who choose to raise their children instead of letting someone else do it.  There are endless reasons in the media and the world on a daily basis for mothers to be the ones who are their children's caregivers, including but not limited to the daycare worker who posted pictures of children on Instagram with humiliating comments and comparison photos.  Fortunately, both women were fired, but it doesn't change the fact that things like this are happening far more than we care to think about.

The pendulum always swings.  It took a while for women to be accepted in the workforce, and they're still fighting for equal salaries.  At the same time, women who choose to raise their own children instead of having someone else do it are fighting for respect.  Women who contribute to society outside of the workforce have pretty much never been given any respect, and we like to think this is some sort of move toward equality and the empowerment of women?  For anyone who believes that, I have some beachfront property in the desert to sell you.

Recommended reading
Cruel Daycare Workers Posy Pictures Mocking Children Online:
http://thestir.cafemom.com/toddler/159914/cruel_daycare_workers_post_online

First Letter From Our Sponsor Child

A few months ago, we started sponsoring a little girl in Honduras.  We received our first letter from her, which I'm pretty sure her mom outlined and she colored.  The letter was written entirely in Spanish, so it was fun for the kids and I to figure out how much we could read of it before looking at the translation that was included.  We were able to understand most of it, and now the children want to try to write her a couple of short notes in Spanish.

Our first letter from our sponsor child

The organization we went with is heavily Christian, so there was a lot of "we'll pray for your family" included in the letter.  I feel like a lot of it is obligatory, because they're being proselytized to constantly by this organization and likely assume that all sponsors are heavily Christian.  We don't feel super comfortable about that aspect of it, but they do allocate their funds in ways that don't make me cringe, so there's that.

I wrote back a letter introducing our family, and opted for the internet form in hopes it would arrive faster.  Since her birthday is in November, we also put together a package with a tiny coloring book, some pretty stickers, and a card.  We're very limited in what we can send, and it cannot be over 1/4 inch.  I had wanted to send some hair ribbons, but I guess that's not permitted anymore.  But stickers are, and kids generally love stickers.

We're already looking forward to our next letter.  

Organized and Ready for School

After procrastinating for weeks, I finally got it together and organized all of our new school supplies and curriculum.  When I first started homeschooling my children (this is our third year), I had a very narrow view of what it would look like.  I ordered a bookshelf for the kitchen, a lamp for the kitchen table, and planned on having the kiddos do lessons in there on my laptop.  It didn't take long for me to realize that we had far more options than basically recreating the typical school environment in our kitchen; even I had been somewhat brainwashed into believing that that was what school should be like.  In mere weeks, we found our groove.  Little G enjoyed working in his room, so we got him a table and chairs set.  Reezle preferred the comfort of the couch, where she would curl up with the big pillows and our older cat, Sticky.

The kiddos both have backpacks and lunch boxes, even though we homeschool.  It's so much fun to take lessons to the park or the beach when the weather is nice, or to a little coffee shop to sit by the fireplace when the weather is chilly and cabin fever is starting to set in.  We don't have to worry about whether our school can fun field trips; we simply take field trips whenever we like.  The zoo, the aquarium, the arboretum, orchards, farms, and even homeschool skating events are on our calendar, and it will be wonderfully, blissfully uncrowded.  I don't miss having to cram our entire family life into school vacation dates.  I don't miss homework.  I don't miss feeling like strangers were raising my children.  I love picking up and going wherever we want to go, whenever we want to go.  And, since most of our family is out of town, we don't have to worry about scheduling visit around a school schedule; we take school with us.  School is anywhere that has an internet connection!

I digress.  We're grateful for the opportunity we have to do this our way, and I tend to get a bit excited about it.  On to our school spaces.  Top left and bottom right is Reezle's setup in her room.  Because their school is web-based, they each have a good computer of their own.  The shelves are much fuller now, with her reading materials and hardcover books.  Top right is some of Little G's setup, which includes some of his own extensive collection of books and a new yellow dry-erase board.  K12 actually supplies dry-erase boards, but my kids wanted the fancy, colorful ones and I caved.  They literally use them until they wear out, so I'm cool with it.  They're great for math and spelling practice.  And finally, bottom left is the bookshelf in our living room where we keep the printer, extra books, flashcards, math games, extra paper, and any DVDs or CDs provided by K12.  I realized quickly that keeping everything in one central location was going to be impossible.

Our various organization locations

The kids were so excited to have their materials that they asked me for writing prompts to earn their supplemental workbooks.  They can be prolific writers when they have incentive, heh.  Both of them filled about four pages each, front and back, with really cute stories.  And yes, my son has blue hair and my daughter is wearing rabbit ears.  I pick my battles.

Getting an early start

We're doing a more family-centered, independent model of K12 this year, and we have the same teacher for both children, which usually isn't the case.  Our current teacher was Little G's teacher from last year, whom he was crying over losing as his teacher as the school year drew to a close, so both of the children are extremely happy about this.  I am very happy as well; she is wonderful and very much dedicated to her students and their success.  I know this confuses people; I homeschool, but my children have teachers.  I could make this post very lengthy, or you could research K12 for yourself here.

I will be writing much more about our homeschool journey soon!  But right now, the kids and I have cucumbers and zucchini to pick from the garden.  I'm hoping last night's epic thunderstorm and rain helped things grow.

Home Gardening

One of the things we love most about summer is our organic garden.  All of us love veggies, and nothing beats fresh ones right out of your very own garden.  This year, we've all taken turns watering, pulling weeds, and carefully picking.  Little G and Reezle both planted flowers along the perimeter and they did a fabulous job.  I was really impressed because it's the first time they've done that without any assistance from us.  With everyone assigned to a task and working together, our planting went quickly. 

Little G waters newly-planted seeds, tomato plants, and flowers

It was a slow summer in terms of garden growth.  Our weather has been strange this year, and we think that the decline in the bee populations isn't helping matters.  But Reezle and I love our zucchini, and once it starts to yield, it's the gift that keeps on giving.  Well, unless you get squash bugs like we did last year.  So this little one was a welcome sight!

Delicious organic zucchini

The other day, Little G asked if he could check the garden to see if any more zucchini had grown large enough to pick.  This is what he found!  Needless to say, we've been eating lots and lots of zucchini!

Little G's proud zucchini harvest

For perspective on how gigantic these bad boys can get, this is Little G holding the zucchini that is in the far right of the picture above.  He said he got his exercise picking these, and he wasn't kidding!

Little G and big zucchini

We're also getting some delicious cucumbers, and the rain over the past couple of days will no doubt move things right along.  No tomatoes or peppers yet, everything is still very green, but hopefully soon.  I wish we could garden year-round, and I've been looking into hydroponics and various greenhouse setups.  Our winters get blistering cold, and stay that way for long periods of time, so I need an option that will be able to withstand occasional sub-zero temperatures without failing.  However, even if I could have an option to extend our growing season so we can start earlier in the spring and continue enjoying fresh produce even after the first frost, I'd be very pleased with that.

ABC Mouse Commercials and Claims

If you've watched any children's television at all recently, you are no doubt familiar with the commercials for ABCmouse.com, an online "early learning" program designed for preschoolers.  A quick look at their website revealed nothing innovative or spectacular for all of the hype.  Admittedly, though, I went there already having a negative bias due to their sketchy advertising.  ABCmouse.com touts "A full online curriculum for preschool and Kindergarten", for ages 3 through 6.  The cost is $7.95 per month or $79.00 per year, similar to other paid learning sites.  My issue isn't so much with their cost or the curriculum, which appears average across the board, but with their advertising.

The ad that I've seen most consistently features an adorable little girl named Aaliyah.  The first thing that caught my attention was, "...my two year-old granddaughter, reading, writing..."  Most children learn to read at 5 to 6 years, somewhere between Kindergarten and second grade.  My children started very early, reading books just after their 4th birthdays, having mastered many sight words when they were 3.  Now, I realize that there are outliers, opposite ends of the bell curve, but most people are astounded when I mention the age my children were when they began reading.  I have a video of my son at 4 years, 2 months, reading a book called Thank You, Bear.  Now, someone is going to convince me that a 2 year-old child is reading, and writing, when every other child her age is still working to develop language and motor skills?  Oh, and that ABCmouse.com was responsible for this reality-defying child genius?  Oh, please.

As if that weren't obviously fake enough, another thing caught my attention.  The woman providing this absolutely amazing testimonial refers to Aaliyah as "my child" at the beginning, but "my 2 year-old granddaughter" at the end of the commercial.  That screams fake testimonial as much as a toddler reading and writing.  Further, the website states that it is intended for ages 3 through 6, and the woman claims that her child/grandchild started at 1 1/2 years.  I'm impressed with a baby who has enough motor coordination to use the computer well enough to enjoy a website with learning activities intended for children twice her age or older!  Someone should take this child in for study, because surely this is a new step in human evolution, a super being, and she should be studying at Harvard by Kindergarten!

Just when I thought ABCmouse.com couldn't possibly annoy me any further, I saw a new commercial this morning.  I tried to find it on YouTube so I could provide a link to it here, but I think it's too new.  It features another little girl named Tyvena.  Her father is explaining how he is not a teacher, and ABCmouse.com is like having a teacher in the house.  He goes on to say more disparaging comments about parents, making it sound like we're incapable of doing anything for our children except hoping for the best and getting them into school and education-related things as soon as possible.

These commercials discredit the site, I don't care how helpful it might be.  Further, while my children do attend a web-based school and I can speak the many virtues of the internet and its resources, why do people want to have their 1 1/2 year-old child online?  My children read very early, in my opinion, and it was because we read to them daily, took them to the library, and encouraged them.  Parents are teachers, the first and most important teachers children have.  To have some for-profit internet education site saying that parents aren't teachers, and that their sketchy business can turn babies into geniuses, makes me angry for every parent who takes that message to heart and every child who gets ripped off as much as their parents who have lost belief in their ability to be a hugely positive force in their child(ren)'s learning experience.

It all sounds like a bad diet scheme or something, touting everything from toddlers reading and writing to bringing parents and children closer together, fixing problems and producing results that even professionals couldn't.  Now those are some lofty claims for a website which, to me, doesn't appear to differ in any way from a plethora of similar free online resources.  The claims may sound amazing, but there is nothing that website can accomplish that another early learning website, or better yet - time with your child in a library - couldn't accomplish.

Watch Aaliyah's commercial here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rptW5Hp9psg

Recommended reading:
Thank You, Bear by Greg Foley

Online resources:
abcya.com - "the leader in free educational kids computer games", for grades K-5

The Schools Are Pathological, Not The Kids

I read this article today, and it claims that 1 in 10 boys at age 10 are taking prescription meds for ADHD.  I was appalled, and yet sadly unsurprised.  My opinion might not be popular, but I do not believe that many children have a disorder, any disorder so severe that they need to be drugged.  Of course, doctors who want financial kickbacks from the drugs they shove on everyone and teachers who want obedient little zombies will tell you that the drugs will bring out the best in your child and make your and your child's life better. 

Photo credit: stoptherobbery.com

Now, I get that some people do have focus problems, and among them there is a subset who struggle so severely that they do, for a period of time or in certain circumstances, require intervention.  Drugs, though, should be an absolute last resort after all other options have been completely exhausted - and I'm not just talking about the patience of parents and teachers, which I believe is frequently the case.

I'm not necessarily blaming the parents and teachers; the Every Kid Gets a Trophy generation is grown up, and things have only gotten worse as they start having children of their own.  Generation Y has been raised on Ritalin and happy pills, while the real problems that exist in families and classrooms are not properly addressed.  Unhappy?  Here's a pill, because you must have depression.  Stressed out?  Here's another pill, because you must have anxiety disorder.  Having trouble concentrating in school?  Obviously you have ADHD, because there's no way it has anything to do with the mundane, repetitive, unfulfilling experience you shuffle through day in and day out with little to no reward for your efforts beyond what all those standardized tests say.

The larger problem is the structure of our society, particularly traditional education and the increasing demands on children with the concurrent deterioration of the real work of childhood, namely play.  Children need free time to grow and develop, but when are they getting it?  Childhood has been pathologized like a disease, while at the same time, schools are removing recess, shortening lunch and free periods, and burdening kids with huge homework loads so that they have no free time to develop who they are as people.  I guarantee that more free time, play time, recess time, and/or physical activity would do a child far more good than any prescription drug.  Big Pharma would disagree, as would the people who want that child's time to be their own.  I guess it works for the system, doesn't it?  Make sure kids' time is always accounted for, keep pouring information that they care little or nothing about into their heads like empty containers, structure their lives to the point they have no say or will, and medicate them into submission when they appear restless, frustrated, bored (termed ADHD, oppositional/defiant, and autistic by allopaths and drug companies).

Parents largely turn to doctors and drugs to help them with their children because the direction of our society.  When I grew up, my dad worked and my mother stayed at home.  Mother was a fast food junkie, but when she wanted to cook and we sat down for family dinners, it was great.  It was close and I felt like part of a family.  The painful regimentation of children's schedules, testing for the sake of scores to bring money into school districts, the degeneration of the family unit, the mountains of homework which effectively obliterates any potential family time and adds stress to the household, the epidemic of bullying, not to even mention the poison in our food, courtesy of Monsanto, are all contributing factors to the problems our children (as a societal whole) face today.

Even as a child, I realized the flaws in education.  Of course, at the time, I was simply a child who was annoyed with school and early mornings.  People do not generally listen to children.  That, in my opinion, is a mistake.  To maintain my sanity, I would ask multiple times per day to go to the restroom because I was so painfully bored in class.  The days were, in my opinion, far too long.  It felt wrong, and I often compared it to a 13-year prison sentence, having to be forced out of bed, day after day, into a place I didn't want to be with my perfectly age-matched peers.  Why were children treated so poorly, I wondered.  I used to look around at my classmates, wondering how they managed to sit there, still and at least feigning the appearance of attention, for that duration.  That was not how I learned.  I suspect, if I were that child in school now, people would recommend Ritalin or some mind-numbing drug to shove me into submission.  I was simply bored, and I don't comprehend how people can't grasp the concept that many children probably are.  That's not a disorder; it's the way the education system is set up that is pathological.

I consider traditional public schools to be brainwashing centers and prisons for children which slowly but surely detach them from their families and drain their will, individuality, and curiosity from them.  Education is not about learning, it's about test scores and money.  Children are miserable, then they get drugged, and then a portion of them do crazy things and people wonder why.  Healthcare has become sick care, where doctors no longer treat the disease, but prescribe pills to mask symptoms and to deal with normal feelings and emotions.  Childhood has become a disease with a number of diagnoses.  People are no longer eccentric, daydreamers, creative, or strong-willed; now they are autistic, ADHD, defiant, and need to be medicated.

The public education system needs serious overhauling.  Will it actually happen?  Not soon enough, if ever.  The trajectory doesn't look good, and I have little hope.

This is why I homeschool.

Recommended reading: Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling by John Taylor Gatto, Thomas Moore