Empowering Women, Not So Much

When people ask me what I "do", they are obviously curious as to what my career is.  By our society's definition, because I homeschool my children and don't dump them in daycare or public schools, I don't "do" anything.  I find that funny, considering that what I do now is often more tiring and requires more mental effort than any job I have held in my life.  I have a college degree and have worked in the mental health field as a counselor.

If I had a career as a childcare worker or a school teacher, people would consider me part of the working world, a person who is contributing to society.  People were always interested when I explained my previous jobs.  When I point out that my job now is raising and educating my children, people say with an undeniable lack of respect, "Oh, so you're a stay-at-home mom."

Of course, there is the other side of the coin; some women think they are better than everyone else because they stay at home, dubbing themselves "domestic engineers".  I find this highly abrasive, as does my husband, who is an actual engineer.  My issue with the term "domestic engineer" has a lot more to do with the fact that people find it necessary to somehow artificially increase the perceived importance of a mother who chooses to parent her child(ren) instead of having someone else do it.  For the record, here's the definition of an engineer from Wikipedia:

An engineer is a professional practitioner of engineering, concerned with applying scientific knowledge, mathematics, and ingenuity to develop solutions for technical problems. Engineers design materials, structures, and systems while considering the limitations imposed by practicality, regulation, safety, and cost.

Why is it more respectable to leave my children in a school or daycare center to go care for or teach someone else's children than it is to be present in my own children's lives and care for and teach them?  There has been a huge movement for a long time to empower women and push for equality, and yet, even women look down upon mothers who choose to raise their children instead of letting someone else do it.  There are endless reasons in the media and the world on a daily basis for mothers to be the ones who are their children's caregivers, including but not limited to the daycare worker who posted pictures of children on Instagram with humiliating comments and comparison photos.  Fortunately, both women were fired, but it doesn't change the fact that things like this are happening far more than we care to think about.

The pendulum always swings.  It took a while for women to be accepted in the workforce, and they're still fighting for equal salaries.  At the same time, women who choose to raise their own children instead of having someone else do it are fighting for respect.  Women who contribute to society outside of the workforce have pretty much never been given any respect, and we like to think this is some sort of move toward equality and the empowerment of women?  For anyone who believes that, I have some beachfront property in the desert to sell you.

Recommended reading
Cruel Daycare Workers Posy Pictures Mocking Children Online:
http://thestir.cafemom.com/toddler/159914/cruel_daycare_workers_post_online