Speaking Out Against Bullying

There was yet another school shooting this week, leaving two 12 year-old children wounded and one teacher and the 13 year-old shooter dead.  My first thought was, how badly was this child bullied that, at 13, he resorted to murder-suicide?  Many others choose to think of him at yet another troubled child, or the handy go-to of gun control.

When I posted about this latest incident, with my opinion that bullying is an epidemic that needs addressed NOW, I had no fewer than five people say to me that kids "need to learn to deal with bullying".  Why?  Why is it acceptable that children have to learn to endure peer-perpetrated abuse like it's some rite of passage in life?  As my husband so aptly said, "Why should we have to play the bullies' game?"  Why do the abusers of society get to set the rules, and why don't more people stand up against this scourge on humanity?  People do not need to do this, or endure this.  It continues because too many people accept it; few are those who are willing to be the proverbial squeaky wheel.

I thought deeply on this after we were offered the opportunity to share my daughter's bullying story with our local news.  Did I want to throw our family into the spotlight?  No.  However, I have always felt a responsibility to share with others what I could when going through difficulties.  I have always believed in being a beacon of hope whenever possible.  My daughter felt the same calling, so we agreed to the interview.

You can say that bullying exists throughout life, and because of that, kids need to learn early on how to deal with it.  My question is always WHY.  Why is it acceptable for the bullies to commit peer-perpetrated abuse against their classmates, co-workers, etc., but people who stand up against it are wrong for interfering with the natural order of things?  Something is seriously wrong with our society.

Today, my very brave little girl stood up for herself and for others who have been the victims of bullying.  Her courage to discuss her own pain said that it is not okay for this to continue, and that those who are being victimized have allies.  I am incredibly proud of her for doing this.  She is my hero.

USDA Organic Is NOT Necessarily Organic

We recently began buying Cascadian Farms organic granola cereals and granola bars for our kids, so they had some quick breakfast and snack options that were GMO-free. I don't know what made me look the other day, but I read the ingredients of the "USDA certified organic" chewy chocolate chip granola bar. It contains soy lecithin. Since I was relatively certain that it wasn't GMO-free soy, or it would probably cost an even more ridiculous amount of money, I Googled. Sure enough, the USDA allows GMO soy lecithin in certified organic foods. It's in almost all of our Cascadian Farms cereals and granola bars (the others contain maltodextrin, which is also garbage), so we're done with Cascadian Farms. I'm also 100% done trusting the USDA and anything labeled organic, because evidently, food only needs to be 95% organic to be labeled organic. Nothing with even a trace of Monsanto's toxic soy in it should EVER be called organic, or consumed by any living creature, human or otherwise.

 I'm ANGRY. GMO soy and corn is exceedingly dangerous to human health. It reminds me of the whole trans fat debacle of the early 2000s; the USDA says you can label a food 0G of trans fat even if it has some in it, as long as it is at a certain (still hazardous) level. You have to read labels and be sure it doesn't say hydrogenated or shortening. That's pretty straightforward by comparison to this GMO nightmare. Most people are not very educated about soy in general, don't realize how toxic it is, nor how many things it is in. Most people will look at "USDA organic" and not even bother to read the label; they're counting on it, and they even got me for a few months.

We're being lied to and poisoned against our will, some of us despite our best efforts to make healthy choices for ourselves and our families. And this administration wants to attack Syria because they're chemically poisoning THEIR OWN PEOPLE!? Does anyone else see how ironic this is? But there is money in GMOs. There is money in war. If anyone thinks it is about human rights, you're asleep.

Recommended reading: 
GMO Awareness
http://gmo-awareness.com/2011/05/05/is-organic-always-gmo-free/

Organic Consumers Association
http://www.organicconsumers.org

Recommended viewing:

The World According to Monsanto (Netflix, YouTube)
The Future of Food (Netflix, YouTube)

Recommended action:

Visit Cascadian Farms on Facebook and let them know what you think of them allowing GMO poison in their foods.
https://www.facebook.com/CascadianFarm

Homeschooling and Feeling Thankful

I think it is easy to go through daily life without truly being thankful we are for what we have in the moment.  Certainly,  I'm among the many who have taken things for granted.  The exception seems to be when we have experienced loss, suffering, pain, or difficult times for a long duration, and then we find ourselves in a situation which brings relief.

Since we started homeschooling through a K12 school, I can honestly say that even on the "worst" of days, I feel thankful and grateful to have the opportunity.  Sure, we get grumpy sometimes, and on occasion there is a difficult lesson that we're all thrilled to just be done with.  For the most part, though, we enjoy life so much more than we did during those two truly miserable years when Reezle attended our local public elementary school. There are no bullies, no revolting odors wafting in from the cafeteria, no morning (with the exception of state testing days) where the kids have to drag themselves out of bed before they're good and rested, and no crammed evenings of stressful rushing through mountains of homework and bath times.

My dad visited yesterday, and we spent most of the day working in the garage.  Because of our amazingly flexible schooling schedule, the kids were able to work ahead this week and had plenty of time to spend with their Papa.  We had a great time, and enjoyed a pizza picnic in the yard under a tree.

Does this count as art class?

After my dad left, the kids and I decided to take a walk through the woods.  On our way there, the school bus (my daughter's previous assigned bus) drove past us.  At that moment, Reezle and I just looked at each other and smiled.  We were grateful.  So grateful.  Having family time is a priceless gift. 

Walking through the woods

We spent the remainder of our blistering hot (I swear, it felt like 100 degrees outside) late afternoon/early evening in the cool woods beneath the shade of the trees, following trails and making our own, hoping to find some cool frogs.  We didn't find frogs, but we found a lot of happiness and reasons to smile and laugh, and fallen trees to play tightrope on.  And I was grateful.  Nothing in this world makes me happier than spending time with my kids and my dad.

Tree walker Reezle

Homeschooling my children has taught me a lot about being grateful in the moment, about their strengths and my own, and proves to all of us on a daily basis that we are capable of accomplishing anything we set our minds to.  Family is so important, especially to young children.  We don't get these precious years back, and I am thankful beyond words that I get to be more of a part of their young years than I would if they were behind the walls of a brick and mortar school.

As an added bonus, we are doing a more independent and family-centered model of the program this year, and they both have the same contact teacher.  She is amazing, someone who truly cares about the families she is working with, and we feel even more fortunate because we have her.  Yes, we have many, many reasons to be thankful.

Recommended links:
http://www.k12.com
http://www.abcya.com

Autism and Expectations

My son is autistic.  He also has a receptive and expressive speech disorder and sensory processing disorder.  This means he has some challenges with social situations, motor development, coordination, communication, understanding, and certain environments (depending on lighting, weather, noise, movement, etc.).  While this sounds like a lot to deal with, and it is for him, it's our normal.  I forget; I don't view him through the lens of any diagnosis unless something requires me to, because it's just not on my radar.  He's just Little G, blue-haired superhero, cat lover, math whiz.  But sometimes, I am reminded.

Reezle, who also has a diagnosis on the autism spectrum, struggled a lot with learning how to pedal a bicycle.  She outgrew her tricycle before ever learning how to pedal it, and we finally bought her a scooter so she could enjoy a ride-on toy until she mastered the art of pedaling.  Though they are two years apart in age, Little G was pedaling like a pro before his sister really got it.  I assumed that riding a bike would always come fairly easy to him.  A big mistake when you're parenting an autistic child is to make assumptions about anything.

By age 7, I was riding a bike with tons of confidence.  This year, I decided, my son was going to learn to ride without training wheels.  I wanted him to have that same confidence, the fun of bike riding that only two wheels can provide.  We could ride on trails, then, I told him.  He liked that idea.  When he got his new green bike, because he finally, just barely outgrew his toddler-size one recently, I told him that I would teach him to ride it without training wheels.  He was stoked.  He was ready.  He was going to do this!

Little G on his new big boy bike

Or, you know, not so much.  I held the back of the bike as we rode around the driveway, becoming quickly aware of the fact that he had absolutely no ability to balance without my assistance.  He's tiny, but that little bike is quite heavy, and it became impossible for me to keep holding him up.  So, on the training wheels went, and we removed the pedals from the previous bike so he can learn to balance.  Little G has decided that he doesn't want to try riding without training wheels until next year.  Fair enough, this is his journey.

I had high expectations because of my own age when I learned to ride a bike without training wheels (I was 6).  Additionally, I recently watched a video of a friend's son, who is days older than Little G, riding like a pro around a bike track without any training wheels.  I immediately thought, hey, this is definitely something 7 year-olds can do, so maybe I'm slacking on the teaching or encouragement here.  But then I remind myself that Little G is not a typical 7 year-old, and it's not a fair comparison.

Little G has his strengths.  He is exceptionally bright, and a very fast, strong runner.  Socially and emotionally he is very young.  That is a point for me to remember as well; he is not the size of a child his age, nor is he socially like children his age.  It's just hard to remember, when I have a 7 year-old doing 4th grade workbooks and speaking with an impressive vocabulary, that he has any limitations.

My outdoor artist

I will keep encouraging him to pursue his talents, and to practice patience where he struggles.  Whether he rides his bike without training wheels doesn't seem to matter much to him, so I need to manage my own expectations.  I never want to underestimate him, but I also don't want to put unreasonable expectations upon him.  But speaking of expectations...

Harvesting some zucchini and tomatoes

Little G has been picking and eating vegetables that he planted in the spring.  "They really grew into food!" he says, every time we go out there.  He says he will be planting even more next year.  He is definitely great at gardening, so I will make sure he has all the room he wants and needs to garden to his heart's content.

The 2013-2014 Academic Year Begins

The 2013-2014 school year has begun, and so far I have some very excited little students.  We began our school day at 10AM for the first day because we can.  It will get earlier as the year progresses, but we're transitioning from summer schedules and I believe in gentle transitions.

Checking out some of their new workbooks for the year

Officially, Reezle is in 4th grade and Little G is in 2nd grade.  They are 9 and 7.  Little G is in 3rd grade language arts and math, and has a goal of being moved into 4th grade by his birthday in December.  Reezle was fairly content to stay at grade level last year, but this year she has a goal of moving into 5th grade math and language arts by mid-year.  Both of them are hoping to be invited to our e-school's version of the gifted program again.  Little G was a bit young for the amount of writing they wanted from him last year, as a 6 year-old, but he is ready this year and his writing has improved dramatically over the summer.

For our extra-curricular enrichment, I've decided to skip Scouts for now.  I'm currently researching our local 4-H, since both of my children are very interested in animals and farming.  It seems to have great potential so far.  Reezle wants to get involved in dance at our local arts center, and Little G is considering it.  He watched some boys tap and ballet videos and he thought it was "awesome".  The next couple of months should be very busy for us, since there really is a lot to do here in the fall.  We're excited to be back in a routine.  And somehow, watching that bus go by and not having to be part of that rat race never stops putting a smile on our faces.

Empowering Women, Not So Much

When people ask me what I "do", they are obviously curious as to what my career is.  By our society's definition, because I homeschool my children and don't dump them in daycare or public schools, I don't "do" anything.  I find that funny, considering that what I do now is often more tiring and requires more mental effort than any job I have held in my life.  I have a college degree and have worked in the mental health field as a counselor.

If I had a career as a childcare worker or a school teacher, people would consider me part of the working world, a person who is contributing to society.  People were always interested when I explained my previous jobs.  When I point out that my job now is raising and educating my children, people say with an undeniable lack of respect, "Oh, so you're a stay-at-home mom."

Of course, there is the other side of the coin; some women think they are better than everyone else because they stay at home, dubbing themselves "domestic engineers".  I find this highly abrasive, as does my husband, who is an actual engineer.  My issue with the term "domestic engineer" has a lot more to do with the fact that people find it necessary to somehow artificially increase the perceived importance of a mother who chooses to parent her child(ren) instead of having someone else do it.  For the record, here's the definition of an engineer from Wikipedia:

An engineer is a professional practitioner of engineering, concerned with applying scientific knowledge, mathematics, and ingenuity to develop solutions for technical problems. Engineers design materials, structures, and systems while considering the limitations imposed by practicality, regulation, safety, and cost.

Why is it more respectable to leave my children in a school or daycare center to go care for or teach someone else's children than it is to be present in my own children's lives and care for and teach them?  There has been a huge movement for a long time to empower women and push for equality, and yet, even women look down upon mothers who choose to raise their children instead of letting someone else do it.  There are endless reasons in the media and the world on a daily basis for mothers to be the ones who are their children's caregivers, including but not limited to the daycare worker who posted pictures of children on Instagram with humiliating comments and comparison photos.  Fortunately, both women were fired, but it doesn't change the fact that things like this are happening far more than we care to think about.

The pendulum always swings.  It took a while for women to be accepted in the workforce, and they're still fighting for equal salaries.  At the same time, women who choose to raise their own children instead of having someone else do it are fighting for respect.  Women who contribute to society outside of the workforce have pretty much never been given any respect, and we like to think this is some sort of move toward equality and the empowerment of women?  For anyone who believes that, I have some beachfront property in the desert to sell you.

Recommended reading
Cruel Daycare Workers Posy Pictures Mocking Children Online:
http://thestir.cafemom.com/toddler/159914/cruel_daycare_workers_post_online

First Letter From Our Sponsor Child

A few months ago, we started sponsoring a little girl in Honduras.  We received our first letter from her, which I'm pretty sure her mom outlined and she colored.  The letter was written entirely in Spanish, so it was fun for the kids and I to figure out how much we could read of it before looking at the translation that was included.  We were able to understand most of it, and now the children want to try to write her a couple of short notes in Spanish.

Our first letter from our sponsor child

The organization we went with is heavily Christian, so there was a lot of "we'll pray for your family" included in the letter.  I feel like a lot of it is obligatory, because they're being proselytized to constantly by this organization and likely assume that all sponsors are heavily Christian.  We don't feel super comfortable about that aspect of it, but they do allocate their funds in ways that don't make me cringe, so there's that.

I wrote back a letter introducing our family, and opted for the internet form in hopes it would arrive faster.  Since her birthday is in November, we also put together a package with a tiny coloring book, some pretty stickers, and a card.  We're very limited in what we can send, and it cannot be over 1/4 inch.  I had wanted to send some hair ribbons, but I guess that's not permitted anymore.  But stickers are, and kids generally love stickers.

We're already looking forward to our next letter.