Thankful

Just recently, I realized how much my children have grown up. There are milestones that seem so big, and I think about them when they occur, but this was something different. I was listening to my son talking a few nights ago. His voice is still very young, and his speech disorder causes him to sound like he's gasping between words a lot of the time. But the content of the conversation really got me. I don't know what it is about that year of Kindergarten, but I swear they go into it like babies and come out of it like kids. Public school, private school, homeschool, it doesn't matter, they're going to grow up at warp speed during that little window between autumn and summer.

Similarly, my daughter has turned into this incredible person who has compassion, wisdom, intellectual and emotional maturity, and talent well beyond her years. I'm honored and humbled being her mom. She has the most beautiful spirit I have ever known in a person, and I am in awe of it. Part of me hopes she never changes, but the other part of me wonders what other precious gifts she has to offer this world as she grows.

This is one of the major reasons I wanted to homeschool my children; I felt as if strangers knew more about them than I did with traditional schooling. I enjoyed the amazing things my daughter brought home in Kindergarten and first grade, but I wanted to be there for the process, too. I wanted to nurture them and watch them grow. And, of course, I did not want their gentle spirits broken by bullies or their thirst for knowledge dampened by boredom.

Yes, this was just a sappy post with some of the thoughts in my mind today. It does a rather poor job of summing up everything I've been thinking about, but it's a general idea. I feel really fortunate to have this experience, and I am thankful for it every day. (Yes, even on the difficult days.)

I Must Be Crazy

Nearly 7 years ago, we made the decision to adopt Sticky the kitty.

Little G wasn't born yet, and Reezle was just a baby. Sticky chose Reezle, we didn't exactly choose Sticky. And Sticky has remained very true to her Reezle, which Little G, the resident cat lover, has taken notice of. He is now asking, quite frequently, if we can adopt another kitty. He even has a name picked out: Quinn Lillina. Don't ask me where he comes up with this stuff, but I actually love it!

I'm thinking about it. I really am. Call me crazy, since two cats in a household can present major issues, but I am genuinely considering this idea. I love cats, too, and I'd love to give a homeless kitten a good home. And so, we may be visiting the animal shelters soon. Because I am, apparently, insane.

Our Weekend

We have little room to complain about this year's winter weather here in the Midwest. We've barely had any snow to speak of, and as someone who loathes the white stuff, I couldn't be a bigger fan of the 2011-2012 winter season thus far. On days when we do get snow, it's actually nice to cuddle up with a warm drink and do a little reading while mother nature does what she will.

Our Saturday was spent studying. My history girl spent several hours learning about religions and cultures from around the world, including some interesting YouTube videos we found. Little G spent most of his time working on math, of course. Today we will be doing some hooping PE so Reezle can practice her halos, her favorite hoop trick.

Both of the kids are excitedly anticipating Groundhog Day, which is coming right up on February 2. Will Punxutawney Phil see his shadow this year? The kids are hoping he won't, since they both want an early spring. I guess we will find out on Thursday!

He Wins

I've been debating what to do about Little G and his obsession with math. Right now, he is a Kindergarten student, technically, but he is taking 1st grade math and language arts. He was taking 1st grade phonics as well, but he completed it. If I let him work at his own pace, he would have finished 1st grade math as well. Part of me thinks just letting him finish and move up to the next grade level in math would be better for him. Originally, I felt this would place undue burden on him and stress him out. But, as it turns out, he's a lot like his mama - if his mind doesn't have something to work on all the time, he gets moody and his mind finds things to work on.

The little dude has always loved numbers and math. He could add and subtract by preschool, and by the start of Kindergarten he was begging to do multiplication flashcards all the time. He loves chess and card games, can kick my butt at Sudoku, and is at his happiest when he is challenged. (But he hates to lose and has no tolerance for anything less than perfection from himself, which means meltdowns and tantrums...)

I'm at a point with him where I feel like pacing him with the rest of the 1st grade students in math is unfair to him. During math lessons, G is typically lying on the floor, answering questions I ask aloud, rolling his eyes and saying, "I know this already, mom. It's like preschool baby stuff." And I tell him, "Yes, G, but you have to demonstrate that you know this, so we have to at least do the assessments." His reward for getting through it is always something he enjoys that is also math-related (Sudoku puzzles, a website that has flashcard games, or workbooks, usually). I keep some grades 2 and 3 math workbooks on hand, hidden as a special treat; but he found and finished the remaining half of a 250-pager the other day when I thought he was coloring. It took him an hour. So, I think we'll start letting him do as much as he wants, and see where this leads.

In other G-related news, my little boy is growing up and developing a mind (and attitude!) of his own. I'm sad, nostalgic, and somewhat uncomfortable with his growing independence, and yet I am also proud of his developments. The fact that he has been so dependent on me for so long makes the transition difficult for me, I'll be honest. Heh, I know, I know, that's the selfish, but-he's-my-baby! part of me talking. He still has many needs (basics, like dressing, brushing his teeth, washing his hands) where he needs much more assistance than his age-matched peers, but intellectually he is light years ahead of the game. He gets so frustrated, knowing what he wants or needs to do, and having the hypotonia and motor issues that make his body a bit slow to catch up. We're doing a lot of sensory diet and OT activities, which change frequently to meet his ever-changing needs, and the results are coming quicker these days.

People always say that kids grow up so fast. It's amazing, though, as a parent. It all seems to happen in fast-forward, and I've come to a point where I try to savor the little moments because I know, before I know it, I will be thinking about how ages 8 and 6 were really so little.

Potentials

My son taught me how to quickly calculate larger numbers in my head.

He was 5 when he taught me this trick.

It was 38 + 42 that brought us to this epiphany. He spat the answer out in seconds. I asked, G, how did you do that so fast? The answer was 80. He said, "Moooom, it's easy. You break apart the numbers. Give the 2 to the 38 and make it 40, so then it's just 40 + 40, and that is super easy...80!."

Uh, woah.

And he was right. When he put it in those terms, it was super easy. That's now his mind works naturally. He's a problem solver by nature. I'm not built that way. I can learn, but it isn't built into my make-up like it is for Little G.

When Little G was just 23 months old, we learned that he is autistic. Just a short time later, we were told that he has hypotonia (low muscle tone) and a speech disorder (not just delay). And at the same time, we were also told that he might have a genetic condition (Beckwith-Wiedemann) that sometimes causes childhood cancer. Yes, I kinda freaked out. After leaving the geneticist's office that day, I smiled at my baby son, walked him in his stroller over to the gift shop where they had toy kitties (his fave), and hugged him to me as I choked back tears that I believe to this day could have flooded the building. But I never let on.

There was no speech therapist available through Early Intervention, so I just learned ASL (American Sign Language) and taught it to the kids and my husband. Because that's what had to be done. He started to communicate. I had great hopes for him, and yet, he still managed to surpass my wildest expectations.

I didn't expect my son to be skipping grade levels in school. I didn't expect him to be speaking so clearly and meaningfully at age 6 like he is, much less using that speech to teach me things about math. The kid is brilliant. And I want to tell all of you, with children who are diagnosed with autism and global developmental delays like my son was, that this IS NOT the end of the road. It is not a prediction. It is not a set-in-stone Way Things Will Be. Trust. Hope. Keep your minds open. And you will be surprised at what your child can do. Do not let anyone place limitations on your child. He or she holds more potential than anyone can see, think, feel, or predict. It will rock your world, if you let it.

7 Lies About Homeschoolers

This is so great, I had to blog it.

100th Day of Homeschool

As of today, Reezle has 567 hours and 20 minutes of attendance hours logged, and 100 days of school. Little G, officially a Kindergarten student, but taking three first grade courses, has 378 hours and 45 minutes of attendance hours logged, and 100 days of school. This means we're more than half way through the school year...and we still love it, and it's still going great! Whew.

In preschool and public school, there was always a special celebration for the 100th day of school. I didn't realize it had come up so quickly, or I would have planned something. It might be a bit tricky, since ice cream sundaes are out due to the blood sugar issue, but I'm sure we can find a way to celebrate all of their hard work. They both deserve a celebration, both of them have been the best students.

Little G had a special milestone of his very own today: he completed first grade phonics! He's little more than half way through his Kindergarten year and he is all done with first grade phonics. I am so proud of him! His spelling, as well as his mastery of grammar concepts and language in general is impressive. He was an early reader, but I didn't expect him to be tutoring his older sister with spelling homework when he was in preschool (he did, for real). His progression seems steady, rather than just an early starter who settles into average. I don't expect him to keep this pace (then again, maybe he can tutor me when I take that logic and philosophy college course I need...ha!), but he has my full support to move at his own pace.

Oh, uh...and he's teaching himself cursive.

Numbers

My blogging efforts have been a bit, well, lazy recently. Other things have been occupying my mind, like numbers. Specifically, my daughter's blood glucose numbers.

She's always run on the higher side of normal, and she's always had some possible symptoms of diabetes, but nothing was definitive and it was all sort of random. But we have a rather extreme family history of types 1 and 2 (among other things), so I've always been careful with our food choices.

Last year, when my daughter still attended public school, I began letting her eat school lunches (even whole, organic mamas know when to pick their battles). She assured me she was making healthy choices, but a look at her purchase history told another story. She was buying ice cream, chocolate milk, and making garbage meal choices. Can I blame her? Not really. She's a kid, and she had temptation staring her in the face every day with a lunch account she was free to make her own choices with. She's a kid. But toward the end of the year, she started telling me she had trouble seeing the chalkboard - but only after lunch. She also felt tired, nauseated, or had stomach aches or a "funny feeling" in her throat after lunch.

Some of the tummy troubles were bus anxiety because of bullying issues. The rest, I only recently realized were due to blood sugar. The other night she said, "I feel bad." It is really out of character for her to say that, even when she is very sick, so I started asking a lot of questions. Before long, I grabbed the glucose meter and discovered she was at 197 before even finishing her meal. So I've been testing her a couple of times a day, more if she has symptoms (which are becoming less frequent with limits on carbohydrates and sugars - she's not pleased about missing her beloved PB&J sandwiches, but she's handling this with more patience and a better attitude than I think I would expect from an adult).

We have an appointment with a pediatric endocrinologist, but it's a long wait. The wait is frustrating in a way, but it will allow me to compile a good journal of what is happening with her glucose levels, how it varies with different foods and activity levels, and what symptoms she is experiencing. Hopefully this will reduce additional waiting, since I assume the doctor would ask us to do this and report back with the results after the appointment. So far, her morning fasting numbers are on the higher end of normal, but all of the others have been between 140-200 (random, post-meal, etc.). While it isn't the scary highs that many of the type 1s in my family have experienced, as in so high it doesn't even register on the meter, the wonderful source of parental anxiety known as the University of Google informed me that anything over 140 can cause cellular damage. Almost every reading she has is over 140.

My free time has been spent researching, reading, asking for advice from others in a diabetic forum I joined as far as getting the numbers lower and more stable, and so on. Fortunately, her diet won't need to change much, because she does eat very healthy (for the most part). She's never had fast food (unless you count Subway or the occasional pizza), and we don't keep soda in the house. I'm convinced if she ate the SAD (standard American diet), she'd probably already be a full-blown diabetic on insulin.

But I still feel all of those nagging parental questions. Did I do something to cause this? Could I have done something to prevent it? And the big one, ohmyfreakinggod...what if we have to do insulin!? Insulin scares me. With all of the diabetics in my family, I know how scary insulin can be; and in growing children, how the bar is always moving and doses are always changing and hospital stays are not uncommon when getting things balanced out.

And there comes the lump in my throat. Because my daughter is, I swear to you, the best, sweetest, kindest, most compassionate soul on the planet. She does not deserve this. Me? I'm not that awesome, and I'm all grown-up. I'd take it for her. I just want her to be a care-free kid, where her biggest worries in life right now are how her brother can beat her at math games and how she's gotta conquer that tree climbing fear.

So that's why I have been blogging less. That, and the holidays. And the fact that the weather here has remained unseasonably warm and snow-free until this past week. 'Round here, we take advantage of those opportunities when we're fortunate enough to get them!

Best Knock-Knock Joke Ever

G: Mommy? Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

G: I love you.

Me: I love you who?

G: I love you so much that you can't even THINK about it!

Pen Pals

My daughter is an excellent writer. Her creativity and imagination, coupled with her way with words, makes her writing enjoyable to read. Getting her to write, however, is like pulling teeth.

I don't remember how the idea came up, but a few weeks ago I found myself talking about pen pals on Facebook with a few people. My daughter acquired two pen pals that same night and another today, and my son managed to get himself one as well. My hope is that this activity will help to connect her more with others, be a positive social experience, and help to sharpen her writing skills in a way she really enjoys. Pen pals are cool.

One of the bonus benefits of having pen pals is that we are already having discussions about conversations with others. She is just writing her first letters, and it is already proving to be a great way for me to discuss social things in a more tangible way than just hypotheticals and possibilities. I suggested asking questions for her new pen pals to answer, instead of making the letters one-sided and talking only about herself. I explained that this is key to being a good listener and having positive outcomes in all kinds of social interactions.

Kentucky City Arrests Children In Attempt to Prevent School Financial Losses

In Convington, Kentucky, new legislation makes skipping school a misdemeanor. Yes, that's right; kids who skip school can now be arrested for a crime.

On the surface, this might seem reasonable; actions have consequences and failure to meet responsibilities, by choice, certainly falls into that category. But, where are the statistics on why children are not meeting school attendance requirements?

Before I address that topic, I would like to briefly discuss the path of a child who is charged with a misdemeanor crime for skipping school. Chances are likely that a judge and perhaps a juvenile detention facility may be involved in such a case. And, if the child is ditching school to go steal, obtain drugs, or engage in other illegal activity, this is clearly a criminal issue. Such a child might benefit from rehabilitative youth programs. However, what about the child who is so overcome with anxiety about dealing with school-related anxiety that they are worrying themselves sick each morning? Do they deserve to be charged with a crime, to stand before a judge, or to land in a juvenile detention facility? Can you "scare straight" a child who is already frightened to face their classmates, or it it just psychological torture at that point? Personally, I believe the latter. And few schools consider the bullying epidemic as part of the truancy problem; they prefer instead to treat them as separate issues.

In Belen, New Mexico, where a similar law goes into effect this year, truancy expert (seriously?) Rochard Romero said, "The safest place for kids is at school..." Assertions like this really fry my grits, because I can unequivocally tell you that my child was not safest at school. In fact, school and the bus she rode to get there were two of the most dangerous places she went. I watched a bright, confident, smiling little girl, full of self-esteem and thinking she could conquer the world, morph into a quieter, less confident, almost fearful little girl who started getting tummy aches at the end of the weekend before returning to school. She was clawed, spat on, pushed, hit with her own lunch box, and pelted in the face with a rock snowball on the playground - and that's not all. In the 6 months she has been away from that environment, her confidence is growing, she is smiling all the time like she used to, and I can't get her to stop talking (and dude, sometimes I really wish I could).

Not all children who skip school do so because they're defiant youngsters with poor discipline. There are many reasons for truancy, and many of them are related to how schools handle problems that arise for students. Attendance problems should first be addressed by school counseling staff who are adequately trained in the effects of peer abuse and bullying. Sadly, far too many people consider bullying a harmless rite of passage.

Children receive so many mixed messages about abuse. Schools tell children to report abuse they are subjected to at home or by caregivers, sending the very clear message that it is not okay. And I agree, it is not okay. Children who are abused absolutely should report it and feel safe doing so. But at the very same time children are receiving the message that it is not okay for adults to harm them, they are being abused by their peers - sometimes to the point of suicide and often to the point of serious psychological detriment - on a regular basis. Schools are doing very little, beyond giving the bullying epidemic a lot of lip service and putting on a very thin facade of anti-bullying propaganda designed to make parents believe they're making an effort. It is my firm belief that school attendance could be dramatically improved if there was more walk and less talk where bullying is concerned.

There are, of course, other reasons a child may be skipping school. Autism spectrum disorders and sensory processing disorders, for example, are two reasons a child may be having an extremely difficult time in school, though they may not be able to explain or define what their trouble is. They may not even think to share some of the sensory issues they struggle with, assuming that everyone has the same issues and they just deal with them poorly. Many children with sensory processing difficulties have been told things like, "Everyone else can deal with it, why can't you?" Though there is a very legitimate issue, they internalize this and come to believe that they are the source of their own problems and are simply not good enough to compensate like they believe everyone else does. With the very high rate of these diagnoses among children this past decade, schools should have specialists on hand who are familiar with sensory disorders and autism. Would that not be better than labeling children as criminals and slapping them with a record?

The school years can be tumultuous times even for students who are not dealing with bullying or personal difficulties. There could be academic difficulties, stress at home, or any number of other things or combinations of things that children are dealing with. In our society, there seems to be this belief that children are not really people; they do not deserve basic human rights or the same ability to protect themselves. They are often not seen as individuals and their troubles are easily dismissed. This is laziness on the part of parents, educators, schools, and caregivers. Children are not born into this world with their motivation and personalities fully intact, and they need us to guide them, encourage them, and help them become the people they are. Children are frequently defined by those around them, rather than encouraged in positive ways.

I do not believe that we raise healthy, responsible children by allowing them to be abused by their peers, silencing their voices, terrifying them into obedience, or furnishing them with a criminal record for not falling in line with their compulsory attendance at school. Children need to be taught lessons in life about responsibility. They need hope, guidance, love, compassion, respect, and some measure of freedom to make their own decisions (within reason, of course).

You might say to yourself, if kids are having a legitimate problem which is resulting in repeated absence, the schools would deal with these situations differently. And I'm here to tell you there is a better chance of a unicorn happily dancing through your yard under a rainbow with a leprechaun holding a pot of gold with your name on it. Children are dollar signs to schools, and schools do not like to be parted with their money.

Japeniesee

He's already tutoring his older sister in math and spelling. Should I be surprised he is trying to teach himself Japanese? I mean, of course he'd do this.

[Disclaimer: I have no clue what those characters mean.]