From a blog called Bringing The Sunshine, I felt compelled to share the following quote:
"When you’re a mom of a kid with special needs, people tend to put you on a pedestal. They admire you from afar and say things like, “God only gives special children to special people,” while simultaneously thanking their lucky stars that they aren’t you, because they “couldn’t handle it.” We aren’t worthy of the pedestal, and we handle it not because we’re strong, but because it’s the hand we’ve been dealt."
I had an almost identical conversation with my grandmother last week, and several times previous since deciding to homeschool my children. Others have said similar things to me about how "amazing" it is that I "am able" to handle raising, let alone teaching, a child with autism and a speech disorder. The universe must have chosen me for this, because surely there was no other parent that could handle this exact child.
I don't believe any of that. We rise to the occasion as parents. There are a lot of families out there raising children with various special needs, from autism to down syndrome, premature birth to traumatic brain injuries, and even gifted children who present their own surprising challenges. We don't belong on pedestals, and we don't want to be on them. We're not any different from you, we just do things based on the unique needs of our unique families, which is really no different than what anyone else does. We don't need to be told how difficult our lives are, because most of us believe that the rewards are equal to the extra effort; and while understanding is the message most people intend to convey, it often comes across as pity. With the exception of a rough day here or there, we don't feel sorry for ourselves. Now, I realize there are exceptions to this rule, but the majority of special needs parents I've spoken to share similar viewpoints on this.
Sure, raising a child with special needs can be challenging, but raising any child is challenging at times!
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