Speaking Out Against Bullying

There was yet another school shooting this week, leaving two 12 year-old children wounded and one teacher and the 13 year-old shooter dead.  My first thought was, how badly was this child bullied that, at 13, he resorted to murder-suicide?  Many others choose to think of him at yet another troubled child, or the handy go-to of gun control.

When I posted about this latest incident, with my opinion that bullying is an epidemic that needs addressed NOW, I had no fewer than five people say to me that kids "need to learn to deal with bullying".  Why?  Why is it acceptable that children have to learn to endure peer-perpetrated abuse like it's some rite of passage in life?  As my husband so aptly said, "Why should we have to play the bullies' game?"  Why do the abusers of society get to set the rules, and why don't more people stand up against this scourge on humanity?  People do not need to do this, or endure this.  It continues because too many people accept it; few are those who are willing to be the proverbial squeaky wheel.

I thought deeply on this after we were offered the opportunity to share my daughter's bullying story with our local news.  Did I want to throw our family into the spotlight?  No.  However, I have always felt a responsibility to share with others what I could when going through difficulties.  I have always believed in being a beacon of hope whenever possible.  My daughter felt the same calling, so we agreed to the interview.

You can say that bullying exists throughout life, and because of that, kids need to learn early on how to deal with it.  My question is always WHY.  Why is it acceptable for the bullies to commit peer-perpetrated abuse against their classmates, co-workers, etc., but people who stand up against it are wrong for interfering with the natural order of things?  Something is seriously wrong with our society.

Today, my very brave little girl stood up for herself and for others who have been the victims of bullying.  Her courage to discuss her own pain said that it is not okay for this to continue, and that those who are being victimized have allies.  I am incredibly proud of her for doing this.  She is my hero.

USDA Organic Is NOT Necessarily Organic

We recently began buying Cascadian Farms organic granola cereals and granola bars for our kids, so they had some quick breakfast and snack options that were GMO-free. I don't know what made me look the other day, but I read the ingredients of the "USDA certified organic" chewy chocolate chip granola bar. It contains soy lecithin. Since I was relatively certain that it wasn't GMO-free soy, or it would probably cost an even more ridiculous amount of money, I Googled. Sure enough, the USDA allows GMO soy lecithin in certified organic foods. It's in almost all of our Cascadian Farms cereals and granola bars (the others contain maltodextrin, which is also garbage), so we're done with Cascadian Farms. I'm also 100% done trusting the USDA and anything labeled organic, because evidently, food only needs to be 95% organic to be labeled organic. Nothing with even a trace of Monsanto's toxic soy in it should EVER be called organic, or consumed by any living creature, human or otherwise.

 I'm ANGRY. GMO soy and corn is exceedingly dangerous to human health. It reminds me of the whole trans fat debacle of the early 2000s; the USDA says you can label a food 0G of trans fat even if it has some in it, as long as it is at a certain (still hazardous) level. You have to read labels and be sure it doesn't say hydrogenated or shortening. That's pretty straightforward by comparison to this GMO nightmare. Most people are not very educated about soy in general, don't realize how toxic it is, nor how many things it is in. Most people will look at "USDA organic" and not even bother to read the label; they're counting on it, and they even got me for a few months.

We're being lied to and poisoned against our will, some of us despite our best efforts to make healthy choices for ourselves and our families. And this administration wants to attack Syria because they're chemically poisoning THEIR OWN PEOPLE!? Does anyone else see how ironic this is? But there is money in GMOs. There is money in war. If anyone thinks it is about human rights, you're asleep.

Recommended reading: 
GMO Awareness
http://gmo-awareness.com/2011/05/05/is-organic-always-gmo-free/

Organic Consumers Association
http://www.organicconsumers.org

Recommended viewing:

The World According to Monsanto (Netflix, YouTube)
The Future of Food (Netflix, YouTube)

Recommended action:

Visit Cascadian Farms on Facebook and let them know what you think of them allowing GMO poison in their foods.
https://www.facebook.com/CascadianFarm

Homeschooling and Feeling Thankful

I think it is easy to go through daily life without truly being thankful we are for what we have in the moment.  Certainly,  I'm among the many who have taken things for granted.  The exception seems to be when we have experienced loss, suffering, pain, or difficult times for a long duration, and then we find ourselves in a situation which brings relief.

Since we started homeschooling through a K12 school, I can honestly say that even on the "worst" of days, I feel thankful and grateful to have the opportunity.  Sure, we get grumpy sometimes, and on occasion there is a difficult lesson that we're all thrilled to just be done with.  For the most part, though, we enjoy life so much more than we did during those two truly miserable years when Reezle attended our local public elementary school. There are no bullies, no revolting odors wafting in from the cafeteria, no morning (with the exception of state testing days) where the kids have to drag themselves out of bed before they're good and rested, and no crammed evenings of stressful rushing through mountains of homework and bath times.

My dad visited yesterday, and we spent most of the day working in the garage.  Because of our amazingly flexible schooling schedule, the kids were able to work ahead this week and had plenty of time to spend with their Papa.  We had a great time, and enjoyed a pizza picnic in the yard under a tree.

Does this count as art class?

After my dad left, the kids and I decided to take a walk through the woods.  On our way there, the school bus (my daughter's previous assigned bus) drove past us.  At that moment, Reezle and I just looked at each other and smiled.  We were grateful.  So grateful.  Having family time is a priceless gift. 

Walking through the woods

We spent the remainder of our blistering hot (I swear, it felt like 100 degrees outside) late afternoon/early evening in the cool woods beneath the shade of the trees, following trails and making our own, hoping to find some cool frogs.  We didn't find frogs, but we found a lot of happiness and reasons to smile and laugh, and fallen trees to play tightrope on.  And I was grateful.  Nothing in this world makes me happier than spending time with my kids and my dad.

Tree walker Reezle

Homeschooling my children has taught me a lot about being grateful in the moment, about their strengths and my own, and proves to all of us on a daily basis that we are capable of accomplishing anything we set our minds to.  Family is so important, especially to young children.  We don't get these precious years back, and I am thankful beyond words that I get to be more of a part of their young years than I would if they were behind the walls of a brick and mortar school.

As an added bonus, we are doing a more independent and family-centered model of the program this year, and they both have the same contact teacher.  She is amazing, someone who truly cares about the families she is working with, and we feel even more fortunate because we have her.  Yes, we have many, many reasons to be thankful.

Recommended links:
http://www.k12.com
http://www.abcya.com

Autism and Expectations

My son is autistic.  He also has a receptive and expressive speech disorder and sensory processing disorder.  This means he has some challenges with social situations, motor development, coordination, communication, understanding, and certain environments (depending on lighting, weather, noise, movement, etc.).  While this sounds like a lot to deal with, and it is for him, it's our normal.  I forget; I don't view him through the lens of any diagnosis unless something requires me to, because it's just not on my radar.  He's just Little G, blue-haired superhero, cat lover, math whiz.  But sometimes, I am reminded.

Reezle, who also has a diagnosis on the autism spectrum, struggled a lot with learning how to pedal a bicycle.  She outgrew her tricycle before ever learning how to pedal it, and we finally bought her a scooter so she could enjoy a ride-on toy until she mastered the art of pedaling.  Though they are two years apart in age, Little G was pedaling like a pro before his sister really got it.  I assumed that riding a bike would always come fairly easy to him.  A big mistake when you're parenting an autistic child is to make assumptions about anything.

By age 7, I was riding a bike with tons of confidence.  This year, I decided, my son was going to learn to ride without training wheels.  I wanted him to have that same confidence, the fun of bike riding that only two wheels can provide.  We could ride on trails, then, I told him.  He liked that idea.  When he got his new green bike, because he finally, just barely outgrew his toddler-size one recently, I told him that I would teach him to ride it without training wheels.  He was stoked.  He was ready.  He was going to do this!

Little G on his new big boy bike

Or, you know, not so much.  I held the back of the bike as we rode around the driveway, becoming quickly aware of the fact that he had absolutely no ability to balance without my assistance.  He's tiny, but that little bike is quite heavy, and it became impossible for me to keep holding him up.  So, on the training wheels went, and we removed the pedals from the previous bike so he can learn to balance.  Little G has decided that he doesn't want to try riding without training wheels until next year.  Fair enough, this is his journey.

I had high expectations because of my own age when I learned to ride a bike without training wheels (I was 6).  Additionally, I recently watched a video of a friend's son, who is days older than Little G, riding like a pro around a bike track without any training wheels.  I immediately thought, hey, this is definitely something 7 year-olds can do, so maybe I'm slacking on the teaching or encouragement here.  But then I remind myself that Little G is not a typical 7 year-old, and it's not a fair comparison.

Little G has his strengths.  He is exceptionally bright, and a very fast, strong runner.  Socially and emotionally he is very young.  That is a point for me to remember as well; he is not the size of a child his age, nor is he socially like children his age.  It's just hard to remember, when I have a 7 year-old doing 4th grade workbooks and speaking with an impressive vocabulary, that he has any limitations.

My outdoor artist

I will keep encouraging him to pursue his talents, and to practice patience where he struggles.  Whether he rides his bike without training wheels doesn't seem to matter much to him, so I need to manage my own expectations.  I never want to underestimate him, but I also don't want to put unreasonable expectations upon him.  But speaking of expectations...

Harvesting some zucchini and tomatoes

Little G has been picking and eating vegetables that he planted in the spring.  "They really grew into food!" he says, every time we go out there.  He says he will be planting even more next year.  He is definitely great at gardening, so I will make sure he has all the room he wants and needs to garden to his heart's content.

The 2013-2014 Academic Year Begins

The 2013-2014 school year has begun, and so far I have some very excited little students.  We began our school day at 10AM for the first day because we can.  It will get earlier as the year progresses, but we're transitioning from summer schedules and I believe in gentle transitions.

Checking out some of their new workbooks for the year

Officially, Reezle is in 4th grade and Little G is in 2nd grade.  They are 9 and 7.  Little G is in 3rd grade language arts and math, and has a goal of being moved into 4th grade by his birthday in December.  Reezle was fairly content to stay at grade level last year, but this year she has a goal of moving into 5th grade math and language arts by mid-year.  Both of them are hoping to be invited to our e-school's version of the gifted program again.  Little G was a bit young for the amount of writing they wanted from him last year, as a 6 year-old, but he is ready this year and his writing has improved dramatically over the summer.

For our extra-curricular enrichment, I've decided to skip Scouts for now.  I'm currently researching our local 4-H, since both of my children are very interested in animals and farming.  It seems to have great potential so far.  Reezle wants to get involved in dance at our local arts center, and Little G is considering it.  He watched some boys tap and ballet videos and he thought it was "awesome".  The next couple of months should be very busy for us, since there really is a lot to do here in the fall.  We're excited to be back in a routine.  And somehow, watching that bus go by and not having to be part of that rat race never stops putting a smile on our faces.

Empowering Women, Not So Much

When people ask me what I "do", they are obviously curious as to what my career is.  By our society's definition, because I homeschool my children and don't dump them in daycare or public schools, I don't "do" anything.  I find that funny, considering that what I do now is often more tiring and requires more mental effort than any job I have held in my life.  I have a college degree and have worked in the mental health field as a counselor.

If I had a career as a childcare worker or a school teacher, people would consider me part of the working world, a person who is contributing to society.  People were always interested when I explained my previous jobs.  When I point out that my job now is raising and educating my children, people say with an undeniable lack of respect, "Oh, so you're a stay-at-home mom."

Of course, there is the other side of the coin; some women think they are better than everyone else because they stay at home, dubbing themselves "domestic engineers".  I find this highly abrasive, as does my husband, who is an actual engineer.  My issue with the term "domestic engineer" has a lot more to do with the fact that people find it necessary to somehow artificially increase the perceived importance of a mother who chooses to parent her child(ren) instead of having someone else do it.  For the record, here's the definition of an engineer from Wikipedia:

An engineer is a professional practitioner of engineering, concerned with applying scientific knowledge, mathematics, and ingenuity to develop solutions for technical problems. Engineers design materials, structures, and systems while considering the limitations imposed by practicality, regulation, safety, and cost.

Why is it more respectable to leave my children in a school or daycare center to go care for or teach someone else's children than it is to be present in my own children's lives and care for and teach them?  There has been a huge movement for a long time to empower women and push for equality, and yet, even women look down upon mothers who choose to raise their children instead of letting someone else do it.  There are endless reasons in the media and the world on a daily basis for mothers to be the ones who are their children's caregivers, including but not limited to the daycare worker who posted pictures of children on Instagram with humiliating comments and comparison photos.  Fortunately, both women were fired, but it doesn't change the fact that things like this are happening far more than we care to think about.

The pendulum always swings.  It took a while for women to be accepted in the workforce, and they're still fighting for equal salaries.  At the same time, women who choose to raise their own children instead of having someone else do it are fighting for respect.  Women who contribute to society outside of the workforce have pretty much never been given any respect, and we like to think this is some sort of move toward equality and the empowerment of women?  For anyone who believes that, I have some beachfront property in the desert to sell you.

Recommended reading
Cruel Daycare Workers Posy Pictures Mocking Children Online:
http://thestir.cafemom.com/toddler/159914/cruel_daycare_workers_post_online

First Letter From Our Sponsor Child

A few months ago, we started sponsoring a little girl in Honduras.  We received our first letter from her, which I'm pretty sure her mom outlined and she colored.  The letter was written entirely in Spanish, so it was fun for the kids and I to figure out how much we could read of it before looking at the translation that was included.  We were able to understand most of it, and now the children want to try to write her a couple of short notes in Spanish.

Our first letter from our sponsor child

The organization we went with is heavily Christian, so there was a lot of "we'll pray for your family" included in the letter.  I feel like a lot of it is obligatory, because they're being proselytized to constantly by this organization and likely assume that all sponsors are heavily Christian.  We don't feel super comfortable about that aspect of it, but they do allocate their funds in ways that don't make me cringe, so there's that.

I wrote back a letter introducing our family, and opted for the internet form in hopes it would arrive faster.  Since her birthday is in November, we also put together a package with a tiny coloring book, some pretty stickers, and a card.  We're very limited in what we can send, and it cannot be over 1/4 inch.  I had wanted to send some hair ribbons, but I guess that's not permitted anymore.  But stickers are, and kids generally love stickers.

We're already looking forward to our next letter.  

Organized and Ready for School

After procrastinating for weeks, I finally got it together and organized all of our new school supplies and curriculum.  When I first started homeschooling my children (this is our third year), I had a very narrow view of what it would look like.  I ordered a bookshelf for the kitchen, a lamp for the kitchen table, and planned on having the kiddos do lessons in there on my laptop.  It didn't take long for me to realize that we had far more options than basically recreating the typical school environment in our kitchen; even I had been somewhat brainwashed into believing that that was what school should be like.  In mere weeks, we found our groove.  Little G enjoyed working in his room, so we got him a table and chairs set.  Reezle preferred the comfort of the couch, where she would curl up with the big pillows and our older cat, Sticky.

The kiddos both have backpacks and lunch boxes, even though we homeschool.  It's so much fun to take lessons to the park or the beach when the weather is nice, or to a little coffee shop to sit by the fireplace when the weather is chilly and cabin fever is starting to set in.  We don't have to worry about whether our school can fun field trips; we simply take field trips whenever we like.  The zoo, the aquarium, the arboretum, orchards, farms, and even homeschool skating events are on our calendar, and it will be wonderfully, blissfully uncrowded.  I don't miss having to cram our entire family life into school vacation dates.  I don't miss homework.  I don't miss feeling like strangers were raising my children.  I love picking up and going wherever we want to go, whenever we want to go.  And, since most of our family is out of town, we don't have to worry about scheduling visit around a school schedule; we take school with us.  School is anywhere that has an internet connection!

I digress.  We're grateful for the opportunity we have to do this our way, and I tend to get a bit excited about it.  On to our school spaces.  Top left and bottom right is Reezle's setup in her room.  Because their school is web-based, they each have a good computer of their own.  The shelves are much fuller now, with her reading materials and hardcover books.  Top right is some of Little G's setup, which includes some of his own extensive collection of books and a new yellow dry-erase board.  K12 actually supplies dry-erase boards, but my kids wanted the fancy, colorful ones and I caved.  They literally use them until they wear out, so I'm cool with it.  They're great for math and spelling practice.  And finally, bottom left is the bookshelf in our living room where we keep the printer, extra books, flashcards, math games, extra paper, and any DVDs or CDs provided by K12.  I realized quickly that keeping everything in one central location was going to be impossible.

Our various organization locations

The kids were so excited to have their materials that they asked me for writing prompts to earn their supplemental workbooks.  They can be prolific writers when they have incentive, heh.  Both of them filled about four pages each, front and back, with really cute stories.  And yes, my son has blue hair and my daughter is wearing rabbit ears.  I pick my battles.

Getting an early start

We're doing a more family-centered, independent model of K12 this year, and we have the same teacher for both children, which usually isn't the case.  Our current teacher was Little G's teacher from last year, whom he was crying over losing as his teacher as the school year drew to a close, so both of the children are extremely happy about this.  I am very happy as well; she is wonderful and very much dedicated to her students and their success.  I know this confuses people; I homeschool, but my children have teachers.  I could make this post very lengthy, or you could research K12 for yourself here.

I will be writing much more about our homeschool journey soon!  But right now, the kids and I have cucumbers and zucchini to pick from the garden.  I'm hoping last night's epic thunderstorm and rain helped things grow.

Home Gardening

One of the things we love most about summer is our organic garden.  All of us love veggies, and nothing beats fresh ones right out of your very own garden.  This year, we've all taken turns watering, pulling weeds, and carefully picking.  Little G and Reezle both planted flowers along the perimeter and they did a fabulous job.  I was really impressed because it's the first time they've done that without any assistance from us.  With everyone assigned to a task and working together, our planting went quickly. 

Little G waters newly-planted seeds, tomato plants, and flowers

It was a slow summer in terms of garden growth.  Our weather has been strange this year, and we think that the decline in the bee populations isn't helping matters.  But Reezle and I love our zucchini, and once it starts to yield, it's the gift that keeps on giving.  Well, unless you get squash bugs like we did last year.  So this little one was a welcome sight!

Delicious organic zucchini

The other day, Little G asked if he could check the garden to see if any more zucchini had grown large enough to pick.  This is what he found!  Needless to say, we've been eating lots and lots of zucchini!

Little G's proud zucchini harvest

For perspective on how gigantic these bad boys can get, this is Little G holding the zucchini that is in the far right of the picture above.  He said he got his exercise picking these, and he wasn't kidding!

Little G and big zucchini

We're also getting some delicious cucumbers, and the rain over the past couple of days will no doubt move things right along.  No tomatoes or peppers yet, everything is still very green, but hopefully soon.  I wish we could garden year-round, and I've been looking into hydroponics and various greenhouse setups.  Our winters get blistering cold, and stay that way for long periods of time, so I need an option that will be able to withstand occasional sub-zero temperatures without failing.  However, even if I could have an option to extend our growing season so we can start earlier in the spring and continue enjoying fresh produce even after the first frost, I'd be very pleased with that.

ABC Mouse Commercials and Claims

If you've watched any children's television at all recently, you are no doubt familiar with the commercials for ABCmouse.com, an online "early learning" program designed for preschoolers.  A quick look at their website revealed nothing innovative or spectacular for all of the hype.  Admittedly, though, I went there already having a negative bias due to their sketchy advertising.  ABCmouse.com touts "A full online curriculum for preschool and Kindergarten", for ages 3 through 6.  The cost is $7.95 per month or $79.00 per year, similar to other paid learning sites.  My issue isn't so much with their cost or the curriculum, which appears average across the board, but with their advertising.

The ad that I've seen most consistently features an adorable little girl named Aaliyah.  The first thing that caught my attention was, "...my two year-old granddaughter, reading, writing..."  Most children learn to read at 5 to 6 years, somewhere between Kindergarten and second grade.  My children started very early, reading books just after their 4th birthdays, having mastered many sight words when they were 3.  Now, I realize that there are outliers, opposite ends of the bell curve, but most people are astounded when I mention the age my children were when they began reading.  I have a video of my son at 4 years, 2 months, reading a book called Thank You, Bear.  Now, someone is going to convince me that a 2 year-old child is reading, and writing, when every other child her age is still working to develop language and motor skills?  Oh, and that ABCmouse.com was responsible for this reality-defying child genius?  Oh, please.

As if that weren't obviously fake enough, another thing caught my attention.  The woman providing this absolutely amazing testimonial refers to Aaliyah as "my child" at the beginning, but "my 2 year-old granddaughter" at the end of the commercial.  That screams fake testimonial as much as a toddler reading and writing.  Further, the website states that it is intended for ages 3 through 6, and the woman claims that her child/grandchild started at 1 1/2 years.  I'm impressed with a baby who has enough motor coordination to use the computer well enough to enjoy a website with learning activities intended for children twice her age or older!  Someone should take this child in for study, because surely this is a new step in human evolution, a super being, and she should be studying at Harvard by Kindergarten!

Just when I thought ABCmouse.com couldn't possibly annoy me any further, I saw a new commercial this morning.  I tried to find it on YouTube so I could provide a link to it here, but I think it's too new.  It features another little girl named Tyvena.  Her father is explaining how he is not a teacher, and ABCmouse.com is like having a teacher in the house.  He goes on to say more disparaging comments about parents, making it sound like we're incapable of doing anything for our children except hoping for the best and getting them into school and education-related things as soon as possible.

These commercials discredit the site, I don't care how helpful it might be.  Further, while my children do attend a web-based school and I can speak the many virtues of the internet and its resources, why do people want to have their 1 1/2 year-old child online?  My children read very early, in my opinion, and it was because we read to them daily, took them to the library, and encouraged them.  Parents are teachers, the first and most important teachers children have.  To have some for-profit internet education site saying that parents aren't teachers, and that their sketchy business can turn babies into geniuses, makes me angry for every parent who takes that message to heart and every child who gets ripped off as much as their parents who have lost belief in their ability to be a hugely positive force in their child(ren)'s learning experience.

It all sounds like a bad diet scheme or something, touting everything from toddlers reading and writing to bringing parents and children closer together, fixing problems and producing results that even professionals couldn't.  Now those are some lofty claims for a website which, to me, doesn't appear to differ in any way from a plethora of similar free online resources.  The claims may sound amazing, but there is nothing that website can accomplish that another early learning website, or better yet - time with your child in a library - couldn't accomplish.

Watch Aaliyah's commercial here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rptW5Hp9psg

Recommended reading:
Thank You, Bear by Greg Foley

Online resources:
abcya.com - "the leader in free educational kids computer games", for grades K-5

The Schools Are Pathological, Not The Kids

I read this article today, and it claims that 1 in 10 boys at age 10 are taking prescription meds for ADHD.  I was appalled, and yet sadly unsurprised.  My opinion might not be popular, but I do not believe that many children have a disorder, any disorder so severe that they need to be drugged.  Of course, doctors who want financial kickbacks from the drugs they shove on everyone and teachers who want obedient little zombies will tell you that the drugs will bring out the best in your child and make your and your child's life better. 

Photo credit: stoptherobbery.com

Now, I get that some people do have focus problems, and among them there is a subset who struggle so severely that they do, for a period of time or in certain circumstances, require intervention.  Drugs, though, should be an absolute last resort after all other options have been completely exhausted - and I'm not just talking about the patience of parents and teachers, which I believe is frequently the case.

I'm not necessarily blaming the parents and teachers; the Every Kid Gets a Trophy generation is grown up, and things have only gotten worse as they start having children of their own.  Generation Y has been raised on Ritalin and happy pills, while the real problems that exist in families and classrooms are not properly addressed.  Unhappy?  Here's a pill, because you must have depression.  Stressed out?  Here's another pill, because you must have anxiety disorder.  Having trouble concentrating in school?  Obviously you have ADHD, because there's no way it has anything to do with the mundane, repetitive, unfulfilling experience you shuffle through day in and day out with little to no reward for your efforts beyond what all those standardized tests say.

The larger problem is the structure of our society, particularly traditional education and the increasing demands on children with the concurrent deterioration of the real work of childhood, namely play.  Children need free time to grow and develop, but when are they getting it?  Childhood has been pathologized like a disease, while at the same time, schools are removing recess, shortening lunch and free periods, and burdening kids with huge homework loads so that they have no free time to develop who they are as people.  I guarantee that more free time, play time, recess time, and/or physical activity would do a child far more good than any prescription drug.  Big Pharma would disagree, as would the people who want that child's time to be their own.  I guess it works for the system, doesn't it?  Make sure kids' time is always accounted for, keep pouring information that they care little or nothing about into their heads like empty containers, structure their lives to the point they have no say or will, and medicate them into submission when they appear restless, frustrated, bored (termed ADHD, oppositional/defiant, and autistic by allopaths and drug companies).

Parents largely turn to doctors and drugs to help them with their children because the direction of our society.  When I grew up, my dad worked and my mother stayed at home.  Mother was a fast food junkie, but when she wanted to cook and we sat down for family dinners, it was great.  It was close and I felt like part of a family.  The painful regimentation of children's schedules, testing for the sake of scores to bring money into school districts, the degeneration of the family unit, the mountains of homework which effectively obliterates any potential family time and adds stress to the household, the epidemic of bullying, not to even mention the poison in our food, courtesy of Monsanto, are all contributing factors to the problems our children (as a societal whole) face today.

Even as a child, I realized the flaws in education.  Of course, at the time, I was simply a child who was annoyed with school and early mornings.  People do not generally listen to children.  That, in my opinion, is a mistake.  To maintain my sanity, I would ask multiple times per day to go to the restroom because I was so painfully bored in class.  The days were, in my opinion, far too long.  It felt wrong, and I often compared it to a 13-year prison sentence, having to be forced out of bed, day after day, into a place I didn't want to be with my perfectly age-matched peers.  Why were children treated so poorly, I wondered.  I used to look around at my classmates, wondering how they managed to sit there, still and at least feigning the appearance of attention, for that duration.  That was not how I learned.  I suspect, if I were that child in school now, people would recommend Ritalin or some mind-numbing drug to shove me into submission.  I was simply bored, and I don't comprehend how people can't grasp the concept that many children probably are.  That's not a disorder; it's the way the education system is set up that is pathological.

I consider traditional public schools to be brainwashing centers and prisons for children which slowly but surely detach them from their families and drain their will, individuality, and curiosity from them.  Education is not about learning, it's about test scores and money.  Children are miserable, then they get drugged, and then a portion of them do crazy things and people wonder why.  Healthcare has become sick care, where doctors no longer treat the disease, but prescribe pills to mask symptoms and to deal with normal feelings and emotions.  Childhood has become a disease with a number of diagnoses.  People are no longer eccentric, daydreamers, creative, or strong-willed; now they are autistic, ADHD, defiant, and need to be medicated.

The public education system needs serious overhauling.  Will it actually happen?  Not soon enough, if ever.  The trajectory doesn't look good, and I have little hope.

This is why I homeschool.

Recommended reading: Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling by John Taylor Gatto, Thomas Moore

Devolving

When the internet first started becoming popular, I immediately protested and said I wanted nothing to do with it.  As far as I could tell, this was yet another stupid fad and people were spending entirely too much time - in 1997, mind you - staring at computer screens.  But then I started college, and with all of the wonderful free software they provided me and the size of the reports I had to write, I relented and decided to get a computer.

Admittedly, I was quite fascinated with the large electronic setup now hanging out on my old desk, whining its way through its very first dial-up connection while my mind began entertaining the various possibilities available to me via internet searches.  I'd heard of chatrooms, and I did find myself in a Korn one (don't hate) with a bunch of kids who thought they were, like, so totally awesome because they knew their way around a few simple commands.  That scene lost its luster real quickly.  I suppose I had this exciting, utopian view of the social networking world being much more like it is now, with people sharing real things and having meaningful debates.  I didn't consider the endless, monotonous stream of location check-ins, pictures of various unappetizing food fare, or the incredible number of parents willing to post inappropriate and humiliating pictures of their own children; but, truth be told, I do enjoy many of the interactions I have through social media.

Eventually, in the days before MySpace and Facebook, I did find some interesting message boards to participate in; I even designed my own Webpage, which was popular for more than a decade and brought literally thousands of people into my life.  I certainly spend more time online than I care to admit to, and I wonder how many valuable hours of my life have been wasted laughing at cat pictures featuring funny captions or reading satire.  However, the internet has afforded me an outlet for my desire to write and research.  It has also been an invaluable source of information on a vast array of topics of personal interest, including Monsanto, organic gardening, health, DIY projects, and home remedies.  Just in the past two weeks alone, I learned how to do hair highlights at home, format my SD card on my Mac, and how to get the Mac to see the SD card.  Money and time saved.  The internet helped me to discover that my migraines were aspartame poisoning, when all of modern medicine failed me, and I got my life back by simply not drinking diet beverages ever again.  It allows me to homeschool my children through K12.  It provides the convenience of shopping online, so I don't have to spend a day walking around some mall that I hate, looking for something they might not even have; I can now accomplish in minutes what might have taken hours or longer.  So maybe those cat memes aren't so terrible after all.

But there is the dark side of the internet.  We are new to this, the 30-somethings.  We don't really grasp the full reach of this new cyber world and how "out there" we've really become.  It ranges from annoying to downright dangerous.  That post of your drunk ass in a trash can in a bar might be funny while you're still wasted, but in the morning when your boss that you don't recall "friending" sees it, you might be out of a job.  And the "sexting", how many lives, relationships, and reputations has that destroyed?  We don't always make good choices, but the internet is a permanent record of things that were once lost with the sands of time.  I'm very glad I'm not a teenager right now.

While I generally avoid the more heinous social faux pas of the online world, the great joy I once took in being able to do in minutes in the convenience of my home what once took hours upon hours in a library is also taking a turn for the sewer.  A Google search now turns up search engines within search engines and pages which are nothing more than a collection of keywords, because people buy URLs so they can get paid-per-click, and they will spam you half to death to get you to click.  I feel as if I have been relegated to a few of the better-known sites I found when the internet was far more searchable than it is now, though even many of those have sold out to the point that their pages are 80% ads and 20% content.  The flashing ones, or those featuring particularly shocking or disgusting photos are the real slums and back alleys of the internet.  Even YouTube, which still remains fairly user-friendly, no longer uses the ratings in their search; you have to actually click on the videos before you find out whether it's total garbage, like a fake video telling you to follow a URL to an actual video...supposedly.

The internet is devolving, like the rest of things that humans have a hand in.  We find fossil fuels?  We use them all up.  We find beautiful land?  We destroy it for profit and erect concrete societies.  Locally grown?  Why, when we can be selfish and destroy the planet so we can eat that out-of-season food and run our local farmers right out of their livelihoods?  It's about want, not need, right?  Why improve our health with exercise when we can pop a pill for each health concern?  Why look on the bright side when there's an SSRI to boost your mood?  Why pay the farmer when you can simply pay the doctor and the pharmacy?

Human beings are a disease.  We consume everything we come in contact with.  Just look at Superfund sites, Monsanto, oil spills, nuclear accidents, and any of the other sad atrocities we're responsible for.  We have this amazing technological gift of the internet, and we're turning it into yet another cesspool.  It's sad, really.  But that's okay.  Something better will come along, right?  Something more advanced and higher-tech, and we can leave this lay in ruin behind us as we advance to the next thing we can build up just to destroy.

Waste

Yesterday, I took my children on a road trip to one of the big cities we live in fairly close proximity to.  It was a mixture of fun and git-r-done; the new headboard we ordered to match Reezle's bedroom set, well, didn't.  And since it weighed somewhere in the neighborhood of 956,422 pounds, shipping it back would have cost the rough approximate of a decent down payment on a house; it was easier, albeit not by much, to just load it up and drive it to the store.  And we really needed a day out after the miserable bout of stomach virus that gripped our household for almost three solid weeks.  Hell, let me tell you.

The first thing I noticed about the city was that everyone was in such a big damn hurry to get absolutely nowhere.  I had several people take exceptional risks to pass me (I am not a slow driver, my past speeding tickets can attest to this - but I'm also not a stupid driver), one guy almost causing two massive wrecks to get about four car lengths ahead of me to a red light.  And for what?

I laughed a little to myself, both when I thought this yesterday and as I typed it just now.  I used to be the person in the big damn hurry.  I used to be more than a little impatient as I would sit behind the wheel offering expletive-filled driving instructions and advice to the so-and-sos in front of me.  I guess 12 years in the rural Midwest has changed my perspective on a lot of things.

The other thing I noticed was waste; from the shopping carts that were replaced despite being in near-new condition compared to the ones that work just fine at our local stores to the destruction of acres upon acres of land to put up more concrete structures.  We can't maintain this, whether it's the fossil fuels we're haphazardly wasting, or the buildings that will all lay in ruin once our economy collapses and no one can afford to care for them, we're going to eventually be catapulted rather painfully back to a simpler life.  That in mind, why not scale back now?  Why not take care of what we have and work harder, all of us, on a more sustainable way of life?

On the drive home, I appreciated the simplicity of our little corner of the map.  As houses grew farther apart and farms and fields of corn and grapes became the norm, I thought back a few years to a time when I wanted to live in the city more than just about anything in the world.  I had thoroughly loved Houston, Texas when we visited in 2005 and 2006, and was quite insistent that it was worth dropping everything here and heading down there.  I'm so glad we didn't, for I would now be a part of exactly what I've come to realize must change.

My perspective on many things has changed substantially in the past 7 years.  While the thought of having stores within walking distance and all kinds of fun buildings to go isolate myself from nature and entertain myself within once appealed to me very much, raising children and realizing the state of our world has caused me to re-evaluate how life should be lived.  I've developed a new appreciation for locally-grown, natural, earth-friendly, and non-polluted.  We can enjoy modern conveniences in moderation without destroying the one place we have to call home.  But largely, we don't.  We waste like it's our job, from the overpriced gas-guzzling Hummers to the three serving sizes of beef that supports animal cruelty, Monsanto, Big Pharma, and that new cardiology wing at the hospital all at once.

Sadly, I realized that, while change is coming, it's coming slowly.  It's going to take the skyrocketing price of fuels, getting knocked off-grid by some solar flare, or who knows what kind of mess for people to realize - too late - that we should have done something while we still could.  I fear for a society where modern conveniences have become life-sustaining necessities.  We're devolving.

Reezle's Farm

My sweet little Reezle turns 9 in a few days. It's hard for me to wrap my head around it.

Lately, she's been talking endlessly about the farm she wants to have when she's grown.  "I have a dream for when I'm older, and I plan to follow it," she told me earlier tonight.  "I'll have some cows. I'll only take my share of milk, not what the babies need. There will be plenty." She went on to say that she might like to have a couple of pigs, too, but that she doesn't want to raise anything for meat.

 "I want a really big farm and piece of land. I'm going to grow fruit trees, vegetables, and raise animals. I'll feed my cows non-Monsanto feed. Everything will be natural.  We already get so many delicious things just from our small garden, can you imagine a farm!?"

"I want to make my own honey, but I don't want to hurt the bees. If I want to all these things, I'm going to have to figure out a way I can work, too.  I'm going to get a Master's Degree in something.  Maybe a Doctorate, so I could be a doctor farmer.  If my animals get sick, I can figure out what it is and help them."

"I really want 3 or 4 kids, but I worry that I'll end up not being able to care for my farm. Hmm. I'm going to need a house.  How much is all of this going to cost?  The house, the farm, the animals, and all of those seeds.  Workers to build things.  All of these questions are coming into my mind!  What will I need to wear?  I think I'm worrying too much about my farm."

Indeed, my sweet girl.  But I'm so glad she has big plans for herself, and the confidence to make them.  Whatever she does, I'm sure she'll be amazing at it.
 

State Testing: An Education Super Fail

It's 4:16 AM.  Instead of sleeping, I'm here drinking coffee and blogging.  Why?  Because today was absolute utter hell in my home, and my daughter just got to sleep about two hours ago.  I'm still running on pure adrenaline and righteous anger.

Let me back up a bit.

Last year, I began homeschooling my children.  The reasons are many, but it mostly comes down to my belief that education is not one size fits all.  My children are both diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders, and my son additionally has a diagnosis of expressive/receptive speech disorder.  Both of them also have sensory processing disorder.  Mostly, in everyday life, this means little.  They have coping skills, they are really great kids, and they deal with the things that pose challenges like a couple of champs.  We realize, though, that it is having the freedom to be who they are in a supportive and loving environment which allows them to really shine like they do.  A public bricks and mortar school was not that environment.

K12 seemed to be a perfect fit for us.  I loved the curriculum.  Yes, I am using past tense words here, because I am beginning to realize that K12 is susceptible to the very same pitfalls, in terms of actual education, that any other public school suffers.  Perhaps it hit me extra hard this year because the language arts curriculum reading materials were severely slashed in terms of quantity, while at the same time we received a pile of test preparation materials which seemed more than a bit over the top.  The only reason I can think of to remove so much of the reading materials is that kids struggled with the amount of it, and spending additional time working through it would mean less time spent on test preparedness.  It also affects the kids' grades, and thus the school's reputation.  Now, I'm not blaming K12 for this at all; the state regulates their schools just like any other public school.  If anything, I think K12 is fucntioning exceptionally well given the circumstances and all of the red tape.

I wondered to myself, what would a curriculum look like if the schools were not being judged and the children were not being dragged through this nightmare known as state testing?

Today, I sat beside my daughter as she worked through a math Scantron assessment, her eyes welling up with tears, shaking with frustration, rocking back and forth.  She is good at math, but she hates it.  Her mind is definitely geared more toward right-brain activities than the logic-based, left-brain activities involved in math.  She hates math that is typical for her grade level, but this is the type of problem she had to work on:

Forgive me, since it's been quite some time since this was first introduced to me, but isn't this something you'd expect 7th-9th grade students to be working on?  I know a lot of adults who would struggle with this.  I almost wonder if they gave her the wrong assessment or something, because the problems were almost all at this level of difficulty and this was complete and utter torture for a 3rd grade child who detests math to begin with.

I have no idea what is in store on the actual state testing, but if it's anything like this, I have no idea at all what the goal is.  This is ridiculous.

I hope I feel better about things at some point, but right now I've had a rough day and I'm not feeling very warm or fuzzy about any of this.  Kids should not have to go through what my daughter went through today.  And you know, I'm quite sure that these state tests and district scores won't mean a damn thing in 100 years, but the contributions these children make to the world because of actual knowledge and experiential learning (read: not from tests for pretests for pretests to prepare for the pretest for the actual test) will.  Einstein, Tesla, George Washington, Hippocrates, and Galileo did just fine without all of this state testing crap.

Alrighty, then.

In Which I Get Depressing

My kiddos have been using some of their free time to watch older television shows on Netflix.  I love this option, even if it's Spongebob, because they're not being mentally flooded with a bunch of lies and deceit (i.e. "Whether it's corn sugar or cane sugar, your body can't tell the difference!" - The Corn Refiners Assoc.) or McDonald's telling them that joy if a gift you can find in a Happy Meal box.  But it turns out they may be getting something unintended from their viewing indulgences.

Reezle commented the other day about how someone learned a lesson of some kind in each episode of Dinosaurs.  "Earl learned that his family was more important than TV," she said.  And while this should be common sense, it is far from the message kids are receiving today - to the point it really stood out for my daughter.  The lesson learned in earlier family television shows were part of the feel-good aspect of those that I grew up with.  Sure, real problems don't work themselves out in 30 minutes and conclude with the entire family collectively vomiting glitter and sunshine (a common criticism of family sitcoms back in the day), but somehow it did provide a sense that hope was not misplaced and eventually things would work out.

These days we have a bit too much "reality" on television.  I realize people tune in largely for the shock value and out of morbid curiosity; after all, it's often like watching a train wreck in slow motion.  But it seems this is not a sideshow or a fleeting glimpse into the lives we all should be glad we're not living; it has become acceptable, even admirable, to live for oneself and flaunt abuses of excess and material possessions as if these things could somehow ever compensate for what these individuals lack in substance and character.  From the Bachelor to Housewives, I wonder endlessly why anyone cares about the smallest details of a person's dating life or how spoiled, entitled women spend their husbands' fortunes to the point of bankruptcy.  I'd like there to be a reality show about the benefits of making good financial decisions, saving money, and preparing to put your kids through college.

Children's shows have eroded into nothing more than screaming, whining stupidity, completely devoid of any value whatsoever.  What happened to shows that had a moral to their stories?  Where are the shows emphasizing the importance of family and friends, regardless of what form those come in?  They're relics of the past, apparently, replaced by a world that is obsessed to the point of isolation with creating virtual existences behind the screens of laptops, cell phones, game consoles, and other electronic devices.  Even when we do interact with others, it's through some device much more often than not.

Our whole existence is fake.  Our lives are on a screen, our images are filtered and Photoshopped, our language is abbreviated, we eat food-like substances instead of actual food, and kids today want to grow up and get their own reality TV show instead of being a doctor, firefighter, or astronaut.  How can we stress the importance of not engaging in stupid behavior when talentless celebrities are made famous for doing exactly what we're warning against?  What happened to wanting a good future, an interesting career, and a family?  When I was growing up, having money meant you wanted financial security.  Now it means you feel entitled to more in that paycheck because your husband's salary, which should be sufficient for a family of 6 to live comfortably in a reasonably-sized home with a couple of reasonable family cars, isn't enough to pay for the Escalade and a $500,000 house you feel you damn well deserve because, hey, everyone else is doing it and being harassed by these creditors isn't any fun!

What has happened to our society?  It's like human beings are no longer evolving; we reached a point where our technology far surpasses our intellect and ability to use it appropriately, and now we're circling the drain.

Happy Autumn

Soon, the leaves will begin to change and Miss Reezle and I will be searching for more foliage shots like the one above. After their season's grand finale, the trees will grow more bare with each of the typical windy, chilly nights we expect this time of year. As for us, we will be doing more cooking and baking now that days and nights are cooler. Chili, hot cocoa, and holidays are on our minds more often than popsicles and hooping in the sun, now. We love this time of year, the perfect blend of warm days and chilly nights, shorts and hoodies, pleasant weather and howling winds. Pumpkins are showing up everywhere and we have our Halloween decorations up.

 Welcome, Fall.

Data Entry

My complaints tend to be minor and few when it comes to K12 and the curriculum.  However, I'm not a fan of the changes they've made to Language Arts (I think it is a scattered, disorganized, diluted version of the previous one), and I absolutely loathe the answer entry forms that I must do after my kids do math (and some other) assessments.  Assessments are printed from an online document, or are in the workbooks provided in the curriculum materials.  The kiddos complete them, and I enter the results in an online form when they're finished.  Instead of making a simple form where we click Yes or No the entire way through, or enter their answer in a box for each item, it goes more like this:

1. Did the student answer correctly?  Yes No
2. Part 1: one point.  Part 2: one point.  Enter the number of points the student earned.
3. 465 - 200 = ____________
4. 76 - 20 = __________
5. Did the student answer correctly?  Yes  No
6. Part 1: one point.  Part 2: two points.  Enter the number of points the student earned.
6. 98 - 45 = ___________

I mean, really?  I can't recall how many times my children have arrived at the correct answer, and I've entered the wrong one, clicked the wrong circle, put the correct answer in the wrong box, etc.  I basically feel like I am doing the assessment after they do the assessment with all of the trick data entry stuff going on.  Very annoying, time-consuming, distracting, and completely unnecessary.  Not to mention the fact that my son is prone to melting into a pouting puddle when I enter something wrong that he got right.  Ugh.  #parentfail

3rd Grade, K12, Teachers, and Learning Coaches

Miss Reezle had an opportunity to meet with the 3rd grade K12 teacher via internet/phone conference today, and for the first time ever, actually expressed an interest in doing math.  I was impressed.  I'm not sure what changed, and I kind of wonder if it is the attention her little brother gets for being brilliant at it, but I'll take it.  Math has been a struggle when it comes time for lessons, and not because she finds it difficult; Reezle simply doesn't like math.  Well, until today.

The conference went well; Reezle enjoyed it, talking about her hobbies (photography and hooping, a girl after my own heart) and excitedly announcing that she was going to send her teacher an e-mail weekly.  Oy.  After reading a few passages and word lists, the teacher asked Reezle if she read a lot.  When Miss Bookworm announced with great enthusiasm that she does, the teacher told her that she'd just been reading a list of 5th grade words.  Reezle grinned proudly from ear to ear.

People are sometimes confused when I mention my children's teachers.  "Aren't you their teacher?" they ask.  Well, yes and no.  They're independent learners, and I do present material to them and explain it in various ways to meet their unique learning styles.  I answer questions when they have them, supplement material that is relevant to our lives and in areas where they need additional enrichment or a better understanding, and basically do the things a teacher does.  K12 calls me a "learning coach".  I don't like the term; I'm not merely standing on the sidelines cheering my kids along.  All parents are teachers.

Each child is assigned a teacher (or teachers, depending on grade) by K12 for their grade level.  This person is the child's primary school contact, does assessments, holds online connect sessions like reading and math groups and other fun and educational events, and helps keep the kiddos on track.  Contact, for us, is minimal, as my children are typically pursuing their own interests and learning well beyond the assigned school day.  We might put in an hour a day of Spanish for attendance, for example, but we're speaking it and going over the words right up until bedtime.  Our learning never really stops, and the kiddos are always walking around with workbooks, notebooks, and pencils in hand.  They love to learn, and my husband and I love to teach them.  It is not uncommon for the kids to be snuggled up in the recliner with Daddy when he gets home, going over binary code or fractions, playing some strategy game like chess or Solitaire, or playing Sudoku puzzles.

Those are a couple of G's illustrations depicting fractions.  And, of course, they read so much and so fast that I can barely keep up with their books!  Not that I'm complaining...

Special Needs Kids

From a blog called Bringing The Sunshine, I felt compelled to share the following quote:

"When you’re a mom of a kid with special needs, people tend to put you on a pedestal. They admire you from afar and say things like, “God only gives special children to special people,” while simultaneously thanking their lucky stars that they aren’t you, because they “couldn’t handle it.” We aren’t worthy of the pedestal, and we handle it not because we’re strong, but because it’s the hand we’ve been dealt."

I had an almost identical conversation with my grandmother last week, and several times previous since deciding to homeschool my children.  Others have said similar things to me about how "amazing" it is that I "am able" to handle raising, let alone teaching, a child with autism and a speech disorder.  The universe must have chosen me for this, because surely there was no other parent that could handle this exact child.

I don't believe any of that.  We rise to the occasion as parents.  There are a lot of families out there raising children with various special needs, from autism to down syndrome, premature birth to traumatic brain injuries, and even gifted children who present their own surprising challenges.  We don't belong on pedestals, and we don't want to be on them.  We're not any different from you, we just do things based on the unique needs of our unique families, which is really no different than what anyone else does.  We don't need to be told how difficult our lives are, because most of us believe that the rewards are equal to the extra effort; and while understanding is the message most people intend to convey, it often comes across as pity.  With the exception of a rough day here or there, we don't feel sorry for ourselves.  Now, I realize there are exceptions to this rule, but the majority of special needs parents I've spoken to share similar viewpoints on this.

Sure, raising a child with special needs can be challenging, but raising any child is challenging at times!