There is much that I want to teach my children. This goes well beyond what they would learn in public school, which is often some of what we would want and a whole lot of what we wouldn't. Among the things I want to teach is living simply.
One does not have to look far to conclude that spending money and having material possessions must be what brings happiness, or that bigger is better. Living Beyond Your Means has become the American way of life, and if you're actually living within your means, you're either rolling in cash or you've accepted that you don't have half of what your friends do.
Our culture is one of entitlement and materialistic arrogance; if lots of other people have something, shouldn't you? Mr. and Mrs. Jones next door have their lawn professionally manicured and chemically treated, so why aren't you entitled to the same? And you can't take your kid to play group wearing something from a discount store clearance rack, no matter how cute or practical it is, if at least two other moms from the group will have their kids dressed in boutique! People are actually more ashamed of lacking material possessions and being judged for it than they are about their financial security.
As a result, our economy is collapsing under the weight of greed and want. This way of life is not healthy for people, and it is not healthy for our country. We can blame the government, the banks, the economy, but it really all boils down to choices we make. It's like pushing over the milk pail and complaining that it has to be cleaned up; people want to do as they wish and have no consequences. Actually, it's going beyond just wanting, because people are starting to believe they deserve that.
So many people talk about how life is so much worse now than when they grew up because most families have to have two working parents to make ends meet. I'm going to say something unpopular about that. I'm going to tell you that many more families could get by on a single income. Thing is, they would have to live in a more reasonably-priced home, give up some of the designer labels, vacation less frequently, and make smarter financial decisions. But it would enable them to spend more time as a family, the thing they claim to wish so desperately for.
Unfortunately, people have themselves convinced that what they are doing what is best for their children, because their children have stuff. Maybe they have a great big home to live in, or lots of expensive gadgets. Perhaps they take pricey vacations or are involved in a sport that is highly cost-prohibitive to the typical family. Whatever it is, it matters more than living a more modest but closer-knit family life. And it's not necessarily a conscious choice; it has simply, and sadly, become the norm.
Not so long ago, I wanted the bigger house, the brand names, the big vacations. But in my disgust over how money can bring out the most disturbing of behavior in people and how money seems to basically be the root of all evil if you really consider what motivates the most horrible things in our world, I started thinking. Simultaneously, a certain mommy blogger was spiraling rapidly into debt and overspending oblivion, and all of it made me sit back and do some real soul searching about my own life and priorities. As far as I can tell, want, and never being content with what one has, is the best way to guarantee debt and misery. It's also a great way to guarantee that you'll look back one day with tremendous regret about missing out on what mattered most. I'm pretty sure no one is going to deeply regret not having owned a few more items from an expensive store.
I started asking myself what made me happiest when I was a child, and what I truly cherish from my early years. None of my answers involved costly things; all of the wonderful things I hold dear are about quality time with my family or running around outside with my cousins and riding my bike as far as my legs would let me. While I did, admittedly, love some of my material possessions, those could not compare to the things which no money could buy.
Our little home is small, but we can easily afford it. We have no need for a larger house. Knowing some of what other families are going through because of wanting too much, I feel resolved to think more about need and less about want. This is not to say I won't still want things, or that we won't still buy things we don't need. If you've got the money, it's fun to spend a little once in a while on something you'd really enjoy having. But I will be much more thoughtful about choices I make.
I want my children to grow up feeling appreciative of what they have, aware of what they need versus what they want. I want them to be willing to work and earn because they know that they are not entitled to what they want simply because they exist. And I want them to know that there are people truly in need, and have a heart to help those who are.
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