Study Island and Day Two

There is a neat little assessment tool which we became familiar (and a little obsessed) with today. It is called Study Island. We all enjoyed it, and the children's scores were as follows:

R

Pretest, reading:
Score: 100%

Phoenemic awareness, word recognition, and fluency (word sounds):
Goal: 68%
Score: 100% (Ad) Advanced

Acquisition of vocabulary; context clues:
Goal: 67%
Score: 100% (Ad) Advanced

Pretest, math:
Score: 100%

Number, number sense, and operations:
a. Place value
Goal: 70%
Score: 90.9% (Ad) Advanced

b. Compare and order whole numbers
Goal: 70%
Score: 90.9%

c. Odd and even numbers
Goal: 70%
Score: 100% (Ad) Advanced

d. Money
Goal: 70%
Score: 100% (Ad) Advanced

G

Math: Numbers, operations, and quantitative reasoning

a. Counting objects up to 20
Goal: 70%
Score: 100% (Ad) Advanced

b. Comparing Numbers
Goal: 70%
Score: 100% (Ad) Advanced

c. Ordering
Goal: 70%
Score: 100% (Ad) Advanced

d. Dividing in Half
Goal: 70%
Score: 100% (Ad) Advanced

This was actually a bit of fun that helped us all unwind a bit from what started as a somewhat stressful day. The OLS (online school) was suffering from some technical problems, and we (as well as many other K12 families) were suffering right along with it. I found myself thanking my lucky stars that I printed out my lesson plans for the day bright and early this morning before the birds even started chirping. I will make it a general plan from now on to print all lesson plans the night before, just to be extra safe.

Though I was admittedly stressed out, since I tend to prefer things super organized and highly predictable and because I could not access all of the information and was forced to miss out on a really cool connection opportunity with one of our virtual academy teachers, we managed to keep busy and even have fun with our offline studies until the technical issues were ironed out. Even on a stressful day, I still love this experience and felt us finding a bit of a groove today as we worked. I would even go so far as to say the technical issues were a bit of a blessing in disguise because it showed me we work well under pressure and the flexibility of the curriculum is a major benefit for many reasons.


I am witnessing myself some of the things that R's teacher told me last year about her strengths (most places) and the areas where she needs a bit of encouragement (focusing on the details instead of skimming, and counting money). It is a different perspective. It's one thing to hear it and know it, and another entirely to witness it and work with it. And, pleasantly, I am surprised how well R and I work as a team. My concerns are quickly fading, our collective enjoyment of the experience is already growing, and I am feeling truly blessed and incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to witness and be a part of my children's learning experience. Honestly, it almost feels too good to be true.

Today, we enjoyed Math and Language Arts, as we will every day. My only problem there is getting Little G to pace himself. We really need to move ahead for his sake, because he had three days worth of lessons completed in the five minutes - no kidding that it took me to set R up with her words list and book for her Language Arts lesson. I mean, he was done, and everything was correct. I think he could complete that entire math book in a day's time and not miss a beat. Fortunately, he cuts things very slowly, so I set him to work on making a shapes puppet. To quench his mathematical thirst for knowledge, we studied only Math in Study Island. He loved it. Eventually, his 5 year-old attention span won, daddy came home, and the two of them enjoyed a game of chess together.

Did I mention how much I love this? Because I do.

My precious R did a self portrait today as part of her Art curriculum, and I have to tell you I am still in awe of it. She is an artist. She comes by it honestly; her grandma Josephine and cousin Josie are also very creative and talented artists.

We didn't get to music today, but since we put in extra time on most of our other subjects, the plan is to have a lot of fun tomorrow with that.

Today I made a call to the transportation department to let them know that my children will not be attending the local elementary school and thus not taking the bus, so we should not have a repeat of the bus stopping and beeping like it did this morning. I will not miss that, though I do have to admit that I enjoyed watching it drive away with absolutely zero anxiety about the fact that we were not curbside, dressed, backpacked, and ready to leave for 8 hours. I relished making breakfast in our own time, doing school in pajamas again (because we can!), and inviting Sticky and a few bears to join us for our lessons. The big yellow bus, once so anticipated with innocent smiles and hopes and dreams, lost much of its appeal by the end of Kindergarten for my sweet R. I hated that. But the smiles are returning now instead of fading, and there is nothing in this world that could ever mean as much to me as knowing my children (and husband) are happy.

Quote of the Day: Customer Service

"If the call is important to them, then why don't they get to you faster?" - R, commenting on my 80-minute wait time experience this morning, which I endured by using the speaker feature and setting the phone down. Until the battery quit. Yes, before I actually reached customer service.

Our First Day of Homeschool

This morning started off with a quote from Little G that left me giggling for hours afterward. Don't ask me why, it just did. R said "wowzers" about something, to which Little G responded very matter of factly with, "Wowzers. More than one wowzer."

To get things rolling, I decided to start R's first day of homeschool with a simple, fun assignment where she would write five sentences about herself or what she did over the summer. I wasn't sure what to expect, since she didn't do much writing over the summer, but she didn't miss a beat! She did a great job.

Little G was eager to get started on Math, and since part of his lesson involved the use of scissors (which I quickly learned he did not even know how to hold properly), I figured it would be a good idea to give him a head start so he could have some practice time cutting paper. He remained a bit awkward handling the scissors, but he caught on very quickly. There was a mild meltdown because his shapes did not meet his own personal criteria for perfection, but I reminded him that it is practice which makes us good at things. "Everything you know, you've learned," I explained to him. That helped. And so did the fun activity I had planned to go along with R's grade 2 Math lesson - counting to 100 using objects. We used fruity Cheerios!

I did a little more cabinet organizing while R and G enjoyed eating that particular portion of their Math lesson. We have all kinds of cool stuff in there now, from paints and clay and bubble wands to seeds and a mineral kit and goggles to math manipulatives, music DVDs, a tambourine and a slide whistle. And it is sure to keep growing.

After snack time, we continued Math with our workbooks. We've been using workbooks for learning since they were old enough to circle pictures and identify numbers and letters, so these are a lot of fun for them and they both loved this portion of the lesson...dare I say almost as much as the Cheerios?


We also did some Language Arts, during which Little G enjoyed a poem about roller skating and part of Cinderella (we read the remainder next lesson). R started reading Clara and the Bookwagon, which she is really enjoying so far. Little G enjoyed it also, when his sister read aloud for us, just as she enjoyed as G and I took turns reading Cinderella. Their only disappointment was that they both wanted to finish their stories. This seems like more of an asset than a detriment, though, since it gives them something specific to look forward to next lesson.

And finally, Art! R looked at a few different types of art and had an opportunity to create some art of her own. The options for what to create were completely open, which is a lot of fun when you have a creative little spirit like she has, and she chose an underwater theme. Can you see the school of fish, the hammerhead shark, the frog, the fish on the hook, and the fishermen (and fisherwomen, as R insisted) in the boats at the top of the water? (I mistakenly cropped the other boats out of the photo due to the angle at which I took the photo.)

She has an amazing creative ability that I lack, so I really admire her talent. Also, see how the water is three shades of blue? She explained that this is because of "different lighting causing the water to appear different shades of blue depending on where you are looking from". Seriously? She rocks. And this is the stuff I am so thrilled to be a part of. I was missing out on all of this when she was in a bricks and mortar school.

Staying organized, avoiding meltdowns due to G's self-imposed perfectionism, keeping it fun, sticking to the lesson plan, thinking of how to change the lesson plan into a more convenient block schedule, allowing more time due to the fact that G likes to learn everything his sister is learning in addition to his own lessons, reading, drawing, printing papers, checking e-mail, fixing meals and snacks, and pretty much neglecting all actual household chores for the day has left me more than a little tired. But I also feel good, with a definite sense of accomplishment. We even made time for PE activity today (we listened to music and danced, jumped, clapped, and spun in circles to the various beats). My two little students kept me busy, but happily so. Though I will say this; I think teachers are underpaid.

The icing on the cake of our first day of homeschool was my husband coming home with a bamboo plant for me. I thought it so very fitting, lucky bamboo today. And I love bamboo! Such a sweet and thoughtful surprise.

And yes, that is our furry homeschool companion there in the background, perched atop the couch cushions my children have stacked in a fort-like configuration. That's Sticky the cat. But she's not sticky at all, I promise. Well, at least not on days when we don't count fruity Cheerios for math.

Tomorrow is the day school starts for our local public schools. I fully anticipate the bus stopping and beeping here at 8AM, wondering why we're not all out there waiting for it. I'll be waving it along and calling the transportation department to let them know we will not be there this year. R will just be rolling out of bed and asking for me to do her hair instead of leaving the house for 8 hours for day 1 of 180, and tomorrow we might just take some of our lessons outside to enjoy this amazing August weather. Together.

Wherever your little ones are learning this year, I wish you a happy school year!

Our First Lessons: Social Studies!

Tomorrow is our first day of school! I know I may have mentioned this before, but I am so happy that we made the choice to homeschool. While I was proud of and excited for my children each year as they began a new school journey, it was always mixed with a feeling of dread and a deep sadness about the extreme detachment that traditional public schools causes. This year? Nothing but joy and excitement! Yes, yes, a bit of nervousness, too - but it's the good, stay-on-track kind of nervous.

I am really looking forward to being part of my children's learning process. I have loved teaching them since they were babies, and suddenly having strangers take over when they turn 5 felt wrong. I plan on making this a fun, family-friendly, very interactive experience, just like I believe learning should be. Learning should not be forced, demanded, or micro-managed. Children are amazing at learning, and even more so when they are actually enjoying it. They need guidance and some encouragement, not force.

My sweet R just completed her first assignment as a second grader! We did a Social Studies lesson today about our national anthem. She learned about Francis Scott Key, how The Star Spangled Banner started out as a poem, what all the words mean, and she finished her lesson by coloring a picture of the flag which is now displayed proudly on our fridge. She scored 100% on her assessment!

Not to be outdone and very anxious to get started, G decided that he also wanted to do his first Social Studies lesson today! He learned about The Pledge of Allegiance, and a little about our location in our country, and he also completed his assessment at 100%. I think he is most interested in getting started on Math and Art, but he really enjoyed looking at the states on his map and finding ours and some of the other states he has visited.

The time has come; Happy School Year 2011-2012!

Compulsory

Compulsory school attendance. When I think of traditional public school, and my own experience in it, the word compulsory seems very fitting. From Merriam-Webster:

com·pul·so·ry
1. Required by law or a rule; obligatory.
2. Involving or exercising compulsion; coercive.

Starting my children off in a system where, by nature and name, they would be coerced, required and obligated to learn felt wrong.

Let's examine those words a little further. From Dictionary.com:

com·pul·sive
1. Resulting from or relating to an irresistible urge, esp. one that is against one's conscious wishes: "compulsive eating".
2. (of a person) Acting as a result of such an urge.

co·er·cive: Adjective: Relating to or using force or threats: "coercive measures".

My children have learned a lot already, more than is expected at the time they reached the age of compulsory school attendance. But they were never obligated. They were never coerced. They never obtained information in a compulsive manner. Learning was an enjoyable, mostly child-led activity, which was certainly not ruled with an iron fist and done under threat of penalty of law.

Considering what learning means to me and my husband, versus what learning appears to mean (by its very definition) to our public education system, it is clear that we are not all on the same page. My husband and I value education, if perhaps for different reasons than the education system values it. We believe it is important, even necessary, but we also truly enjoy learning. I will assume it is no coincidence that our children also enjoy learning. So, with this in mind, it is no wonder I cringed at the mere thought of introducing our children to a school system that values conformity, unquestioning obedience, and the "banking concept" of education (Google Paulo Friere or Pedagogy of the Oppressed) over the individuality, curiosity, and hands-on experiential learning we had encouraged in our children.

Knowing that we are a different breed, the husband and I, I figured it was probably for the best to encourage our children to be happy little sheeple who did as they were told with a smile and a skip in their step. And while that worked, at least on the surface and as far as the school system was concerned, for our daughter, two things gnawed at me from the edges of my consciousness. One was that my daughter's endless smiles had become a finite resource as she experienced the bullying that is too often dismissed as a rite of passage for school-age children, and I was so not okay with that. I spent nights awake crying, looking at my precious girl as she slept, wondering how long it would be before it ruined her.

The other issue is that my son is the apple who does not fall far from the tree. I will assume that my daughter got her easy-going, accepting manner from her dad, but my son is all me. What my daughter will accept and let roll off her back, my son will fight with ardent determination until justice is achieved. Nothing else in the world matters until that goal is met. And that, as I am sorely aware, is not a good fit with the public education system. Add to that the fact that my son has a diagnosis of autism and a speech disorder, both of which are exacerbated by stress, and the possible scenarios literally kept me awake at night until my husband and I agreed that homeschooling was the best option.

Public education clearly works for many children. I'm not saying that all parents should immediately remove their children from the public school system and homeschool them. This blog is about my own feelings, my own family, and what I feel works best for us. What I am saying is that we should stop accepting bullying as a rite of passage, examine the definitions of words like compulsory, and realize that children are individuals and act accordingly instead of determinedly trying to pound square pegs into round holes.

School starts Monday. I no longer dread my children starting school. I am enjoying autumn for the first time in years without a knot in my middle about what unpleasantness lurks in the halls of the elementary school and how many calls I will get about bullying incidents, injuries, or other issues. Or worse, the calls I won't get.

I will not harbor feelings of bitterness as months pass by without a single call from the head classroom parent for any of the activities or parties because she has already called her friends to participate. Nor will I have to endure more questions from my children as to why Sally and Joey's mommies are there all the time and I am not. I will be there for all of it. I will be mom, and mom is teacher by default.

Just Some Sentences (list version)

In the past few days I have:

• Watched all of the K-8 orientation videos.
  


• Communicated with both homeroom teachers by e-mail, and G's by phone.
  


• Completed the Introduction to Online Learning K-2.
  


• Joined a couple of Facebook groups to connect with other parents.
  


• Ordered a bunch of supplemental materials I think will be fun.
  


• Googled and found some exciting and fun supplemental science and art activities.
  


• Started planning activities to compliment our curriculum.
  


• Gotten our materials set up and ready to go.
  


• Created a to-do list of important dates.
  


• Called R's former elementary school and told them we won't be there this year. And felt so good doing it.
  


• Welcomed cooler weather with open arms and cups of cocoa.
  


• Planned a very cool project for art for Little G, which I will share soon.
  


• Spent more time than I care to admit searching for a blog design template that actually works with the new Blogger format. And did not find one.
  


• Felt a range of emotions about homeschooling from trepidation to ecstatic, and everything between.
  


• Been feeling like my husband is really on the same page as I am about homeschooling, for which I am grateful beyond words. His opinions and feelings matter a lot to me on everything, but especially where our children are concerned.
  


• Somehow earned the name Mrs. Mama.
  


• Decided with R and G that we will start a cool tradition of celebrating the first day of homeschool in pajamas with a breakfast of waffles and fruit salad, complete with first day of school photos.
  


• Felt extremely blessed and thankful.

A Look Inside Our Classroom

We thought you might like to see our homeschool classroom. I cannot show it all to you, simply because it is much too large to fit into one blog post. But I can show you a very small portion of it.

We're ready to start this great new journey. To redefine the classroom. To learn as a family, together.

Welcome to our classroom.

Welcome to our journey.

Designer Curriculum

Today was an exciting day for Little G! His virtual academy 'homeroom' teacher, Mrs. M., called today and G had a chance to talk to her. And, of course, it didn't take him long to find a way to work numbers into the conversation. After asking G a few questions, Mrs. M. asked him if he had any questions for her. "Yes," he said. "What is 4 plus 4?" She said she thought she knew that one, and answered 8. "Correct!" he said, delightedly. His face lit up like it was Christmas, as usually happens when anyone is willing to talk numbers with him.

Mrs. M. and I talked about G's speech, the fact that he is well beyond the Kindergarten phonics and probably the Kindergarten math, and she shared some ideas on bumping up his curriculum. We're going to start him in the later Kindergarten Phonics lessons now, and - depending on the results of his reading assessment, which I am sure will be ahead of grade level - the plan is to get him working on grade 1 Phonics. I was so excited about this, because I was figuring I would just continue teaching him reading and writing using the grade 2 workbooks I've been using for most of the summer. He has been reading books for more than a year, so the sight word flash cards and learning letter sounds is a few steps backwards. I'm glad his curriculum is flexible. That's something a bricks and mortar school cannot offer, at least in such a custom fit way, right now. I told the kids we have a "designer curriculum".

The unexpected twist in plans was that G will be doing a part-time curriculum instead of full-time. I had been slowly coming to terms with this before today, simply because it was taking so long for the issue to be ironed out. Today, we were given options and I feel like, with the input from two teachers, we made the right choice for G. We were given the option of trading History for the Science we really wanted, but since Science is a strong point for me and I was already brainstorming ways to create a Science curriculum on my own for him, I opted to keep the History and have G study grade 2 Science with R. This is one of the many benefits of having two students just a couple of years apart. Mrs. M. suggested that we could log some of G's science studies as Technology.

I'm feeling even more excited about the start of our school year now. Autumn is fast approaching, which means we will have the chance to do some really cool seasonal activities to compliment our curriculum. We will be doing some fun things with apples, thanks to some great experiences from the kids' preschool days that I want to keep repeating. It's a surprise, but I will be sharing soon!

Teacher, Mama

This morning, I shared the names of the virtual academy teachers with R and Little G. Little G looked upset and said, "I thought you were going to be my teacher." I explained that I would, but these other teachers were experienced and knowledgable, and they would help us stay on track. He brightened right back up. My sweet R chimed in right after.

R: That's the best part about homeschool. You are our teacher!

G: You're mama and teacher!

R: Yep! I'm gonna call you Mrs. Mama.

Heh. Aww.

Cabinet

We continue to prepare for the start of our homeschooling adventure. I finished cleaning out one of the kitchen cabinets this morning to make way for math manipulatives, art supplies, science materials, seeds, small musical instruments and other items we will be using very soon!

I'm trying to come up with something fun to do for our first day of school. Maybe I'll attempt pancakes for breakfast, or we will spend the first day of school in our jammies. Or both. Or something else. That's kind of the awesome part - it's all ours to decide!

Incentives and Rewards

I've had this post in my mind and my drafts for about a week, so when someone in our virtual academy group posted about rewards, I finally felt motivated to discuss in detail what I've been thinking about.

Everyone works for something. Maybe it's the fruits of a backyard garden or that weekend project that adds value to our home; we all have reasons, goals, and things we desire to have or do. Children are no different, and we shouldn't expect them to do things 'because I said so'. Sure, you do what you boss asks of you, but it is because you want that promotion, or simply to keep your job. Without goals, even if it is just a cool activity book or a fun new whistle from the dollar store, children are unlikely to feel motivated. Feeling motivation and excitement of working toward and attaining goals is important for children; it gives them a sense of purpose in what they do.

My children are young, ages 5 and 7 in grades K and 2. We have a "warm and fuzzy" system.


I keep huge bags of cotton balls in the house, as well as a container of fun books, activity pads, funky colored pencils or markers, jelly bracelets, silly pencil toppers, bubbles, and other cool things I find at the dollar store and other various places. They LOVE trading in their warm and fuzzies for a prize! We do prizes for every 10 warm and fuzzies earned. Because they are so close in age, filling the bin with items they will both enjoy is fairly easy. The only issue I've run into so far is when one of them chooses a prize the other was hoping for (note to self: grab two of most things!).

For older children, you could use marbles or homemade coupons. Charts can work also, but having something tangible they can hold and watch accumulate seems to be more motivating. There are endless possibilities, so your family can design a cool system that is a perfect fit for you. As prize incentives for older children, parents can offer extra computer or TV time.

A word of caution on incentives. Some people have mentioned using candy or even trips to fast food places as prizes. I'd caution strongly against this. Children should never associate food with rewards or behaviors, only as fuel. This can create a world of trouble for them down the road.

Cool Things

This morning, I logged into the OLS (online school) to browse announcements and check my e-mail. In my inbox was an introduction and bio from the teachers who we will be working with as Little G navigates his Kindergarten year on our homeschool adventure. And I could not believe what I read; one of the teachers also has a degree in communicative disorders!

Since Little G has a diagnosis of expressive/receptive speech disorder, the only concern I had about homeschool (or any school, really) was the possibility of encountering issues where is receptive communication challenges would become an issue. Let's just say I feel a whole lot less concerned now! I was so excited that I immediately e-mailed her to introduce myself and tell her about my son. Any trepidation I felt about plunging into this unknown continues to ease, as these little affirmations seem to be popping up at every turn.

Truly, my only frustration at this point is that I still have not received any science, art, or music curriculum for Little G, and he actually became very upset and started to cry about this when he realized it this afternoon. His favorite things, in order, are math, music, science, and art. And since he will blow through the phonics and language arts at warp speed with little challenge, if any, the lack of science doesn't leave a whole lot to his core courses. Hopefully I can get this rectified tomorrow.

Meanwhile, G did enjoy going through what he already has, which are below:



Pictured are mostly Little G's materials, but a few items of R's. In the upper photo, G poses with his phonics materials, inflatable globe, map, and some reading materials. Below we have math manipulatives, beans, grass seeds, a pile of workbooks on top of a pile of reading books, a slide whistle, a (hot pink!) tambourine, and 3-D shapes. I can't seem to stop playing with the tambourine, heh. I think we are all going to enjoy the music, even if Little G doesn't get his materials. It's not like we're going to leave him out of the fun!

The Cat at Night

We love books in our family, so I thought it would be a fun addition to our homeschool blog to discuss some of what we are reading and offer some mini reviews. Our most recent book love is The Cat at Night by Dahlov Ipcar.


The Cat at Night became an instant favorite for us. Bright, colorful, and beautifully illustrated pages tell the story of a cat's nighttime adventures through city and countryside. Fun and informative, the book gives readers a few insights into the mysterious noctournal nature of cats and why the darkness is not a problem for them. Perfect for a bedtime story to read to your children, or to have them read to you!

Learning About Gardening

My children love to learn, but learning goes way beyond the classroom. One thing we enjoyed learning about this year was how seeds transform into a garden that we can enjoy for the whole summer!

We have enjoyed tomatoes, carrots, cucumbers, our combined weight in zucchini (seriously, I don't think I have seen as much zucchini in my life to date as came from our garden this year), onions, hot peppers, orange bell peppers, green bell peppers, and probably a few things I am forgetting. It was wonderful!

The marigolds planted around the garden are pretty, but their purpose is to discourage greedy garden visitors who like to take more than a fair share. I can't decide whether it helped or not.

Next year, we plan to have the children much more involved in the process of cultivating our yummy organic foods. This year, they mostly enjoyed the end result on the dinner table. It's a lot of fun eating food grown in our very own garden!

Socializing, Part II: Bullying and Popularity

It might surprise many people to know that I believe my children will receive more social benefits from being homeschooled (see my previous post here). What probably won't surprise them is my concern about the growing epidemic of bullying in our public schools. Overcrowded schools with kids who bully and teachers who don't care and administrators who don't do their jobs are more common, both in my experience and what I gather from others, that most any of us would be comfortable with if we allowed ourselves to think about it. The impact of bullying and very real psychological damage done by the less fabulous social aspects of public school is downplayed severely. "Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it," according to BullyingStatistics.org, and a British study (available at the same site) says that about half of suicides among young people are due to bullying. Further, consider that 1 in 4 children are bullied, and only about 58% report it. Those are some sobering statistics. Bullying-related suicide deaths are a growing epidemic in our country. Meanwhile, I have never heard of a child committing suicide because they were homeschooled.

In the two years my daughter was in preschool, and the one year my son attended, they were not bullied even once. They loved school and looked forward to going. But there were key differences between preschool and elementary school; a smaller teacher to student ratio (1:8), more structure, and very little random free time. Classes were 3x weekly for a couple of hours, and we all received a detailed typed report of everything the children had done that day and what they would be doing next time.

Elementary school was like jumping into a cold pool for me; the shock was palpable. There were no more detailed communications of what my daughter was doing, the days were much longer and 5 days/week, and there were bullies. Bullies on the bus, bullies in the lunch room, bullies on the playground, bullies from other classes, and even a bully for a gym teacher who went so far as to tell lies about my child to justify her poor handling of R's sensory struggles with noise and disorganized movement. My daughter, just by the end of Kindergarten, had rock snowballs thrown at her face, had a peer spit in her face at lunchtime because my daughter simply wanted to be her friend, was injured by a boy she didn't even know 'because he felt like it', was verbally and physically bullied on the bus, and became so upset about the happenings on the bus that she asked me to start driving her to school. That was quite significant, since she had spent years watching the bus do morning and afternoon runs by our home with great anticipation of the day she could finally ride it.

But it's not just bullying; it can also be compromising who you are to be part of the in crowd. The characteristics that will get you ahead in life are not typically the ones valued by peers. In fact, they just might make you a target. We need only look to the popular television shows on Nickelodeon to see what matters to school-age children. Spoiled, entitled behavior is rampant, elementary students are walking around texting with their own cell phones, and everyone is keeping up with the Jones'. A boy who is good at sports or a girl who has great hair and brand name clothes is far more likely to get positive feedback from peers than they would for being in honors math or being accepted to Yale.

Highly intelligent students typically have different priorities and interests. For some, this doesn't affect their social lives, but for many it does. If you don't see that easily at first glance, it is probably because there are many highly intelligent children not living up to their potential because school is a hostile environment for them, or because they have such a desire to fit in and be accepted that they make that their priority. I don't want my children to ever feel like their education has to include a popularity contest, or that they have to sacrifice who they are to be accepted.

Catch-all statements like "kids need to go to [public] school" are frustrating to me. I choose to homeschool my children, but I would never say that all kids need to be homeschooled. I simply don't believe either statement is true. Public school was okay, when you balance the positives (wonderful teachers) and negatives (bullying, family disconnect). But it was just okay. And I want better for my children than "okay".

Socializing, Part I: People of All Ages

This is part one of a two-part post about my thoughts on homeschooling, public schools, and socialization. This is probably the the number one topic homeschoolers are confronted with by critics and concerned friends and relatives, and it is also something I believe is quite misunderstood. Thus, I have a lot to say about this, and probably will have much more to say in future posts.

Critics of homeschoolers are often quick to cite proper socialization as a reason children should be shipped off to public school. Interestingly, very few people ever mention the quality of education homeschooled children will receive! For a society so concerned with socializing our children, one might think we would be equally concerned with the quality of those social interactions. But quality doesn't seem to enter the equation, ever. And I find that sad, and a little disturbing.

I don't necessarily believe that those who tout the social skills development benefits of public school really think about what they are saying. How many people truly believe that a group of 15 or 20 age-matched children can provide social skills and values adequately and appropriately for their child? Yes, I added values in there, because anyone who thinks their values at home will automatically override the values of those their children spend most of their waking hours with is likely in for unpleasant surprises ahead. I'm not saying it cannot be accomplished, but it takes an incredible amount of parental effort and involvement that I am not sure is present within the 'let the schools take care of it' mentality.

As a child, I lived in an apartment complex for the first 9 years of my life which was basically a retirement community. Most of my interactions were with much, much older adults. I delighted in playing violin, reading stories, or talking for hours over cocoa with my elderly neighbors, and enjoyed playing with grandchildren of all ages when they would visit. As a result of that experience, socially interacting with people of all ages, I was able to relate to people of all ages with confidence. And, for that matter, with interest. Age barriers became more blurred for me, and I simply saw people as people. It was actually my age-matched peers who proved most difficult, and had they been my only, or even the majority of my social exposure, I don't believe that would have been positive for me in the least. I want my children to interact with children and adults of all ages who are positive influences, and feel comfortable doing so. After all, in the real, post-school world, they will always be interacting with people of all ages.

This isn't to say some public school options don't offer such opportunities, but for the most part there is a very sharp cutoff between adults and children, and even between children in different grades. I never understood that, nor do I think it is particularly healthy. We are all people, and I often did not feel like a person in school; or at least, not a person with rights or respect. Sure, putting first graders with fifth graders on the playground with minimal supervision can be disastrous, but why not involve them all together in structured activities? Our local elementary did some of that, by having fourth grade students read to the Kindergartners; however, I feel that it still fostered the 'I am above you, imparting knowledge to you', one-directional way of education.

While public school is certainly the preferred route for some families whose children thrive there and truly have a positive experience, those children are not representative of all children. By nature, we are all different, and we cannot expect a cookie cutter education to work for every child. Given the very same curriculum, environment, peer group, and teachers, two students can have wildly different experiences and outcomes. I do my very best to understand my children, to consider life from their perspective. I ask a lot of questions about how they think and feel about things and ask for their feedback on family decisions. It is my belief that they should feel valued, always, and I'm not confident that most schools offer this sort of environment.

Until my next post, here are just a few of the ways homeschooled children can really enjoy very active and healthy social lives:

• Scouts



• Library groups



• Community volunteering



• YMCA



• Homeschool groups



• Arts centers



• Dance classes



• Gymnastics



• Martial arts



• 4-H



• Community sports teams (soccer, baseball, softball, etc.)



• Local common interest groups (painting, collecting things, etc.)

We Are All Teachers

When I began familiarizing myself with the Kindergarten curriculum, I actually found it somewhat funny that index cards for sight words are recommended. Sight words? For real? My son and I would spend hours each week on the local school district's 500 sight words page, mostly for the purpose of helping him with his speech. He could already read the words easily at age (early) 4, but the added benefit was that he learned to correctly spell them all and now writes very detailed lists, requests, and descriptions of his feelings (when his emotions overwhelm him too much to speak, a common difficulty with his speech disorder).

Many people are surprised when I tell them how early my children were reading, but I truly believe that almost all children are capable of much more than we give them credit for. For example, when my son was diagnosed with autism and an expressive-receptive speech disorder at age 2, crying and meltdowns were the norm. I didn't throw him in ABA therapy hoping someone could train him to handle his outbursts better; I examined why he was so tantrum-prone. I realized that he knew exactly what he wanted, but the words were not making it from his brain to his mouth. Words were flipped around, mixed up, and incomplete. He was frustrated, and understandably so!

Unfortunately - or perhaps fortunately, as it turned out - our county was minus a speech therapist at the time through Early Intervention. Through the University of Google (ha!) I did some research about my son's speech disorder and found that sign language could be helpful. I went to the local library and started requesting all the Signing Time DVDs I could get my hands on, and bought a few that were not available through the inter-library lending program. And, as a family, we learned sign language. I was amazed at my children's capacity to pick up and retain this new language. Even more profound was the marked absence of the daily meltdown marathon; it turns out my son has a great capacity for language, just not the spoken form. With the tools to communicate, he was so happy and could then focus on other things.

It occurred to me that they could probably learn just about anything, and well. I also realized something else; parents are their children's first teachers. We doubt ourselves. We believe that schools will teach them all they need to know, and that our duties pretty much end when they walk into the school building for their first day of Kindergarten. Even those who don't think they believe that still sort of do. Because I didn't think I believed it, but I did. Confused yet?

The realization came to me when I was contemplating the necessity of backpacks for homeschooled children and the study space we would use. I had a very 'inside the box' concept of education. I would turn the kitchen table into a desk for the academic portion of our day, and backpacks would not be necessary. Or, would they? We could take our books to the park and read for a change of pace. And for that matter, why does the kitchen table have to double as a desk? Wouldn't it be much more comfortable to relax on the couch with Why Frogs Are Wet? Ah, yes. I had great ideas, but still very conventional ideas about learning. That is evolving, now.

It isn't amazing that my children were reading books at early 4. They are bright children, yes, but I think somewhere along the line parents stopped believing they were a part of their children's learning experience. Sure, we know we are the ones who teach values and the importance of chores and making good choices in life, but we are so much more! Much more than many of us give ourselves credit for. We should all challenge our traditional views of how children learn, and our role in their education.

Bullying

Since before my children were out of diapers, there were many reasons I considered homeschooling them. One of the reasons was bullying. My husband and I always knew that bullying was rampant in schools, though we both quite mistakenly figured it was something that would become an issue down the road - perhaps in junior high school. Boy, were we wrong.

I was excited for my daughter as she anticipated her first ride on the big yellow school bus she had been watching thoughtfully for a couple of years as it made the morning and afternoon routes past our home. But I was also sad, because even the best schools with the most dedicated teachers and brightest students also have bullies. There would be 7 hours every week day where I would have very little information about what was happening in my daughter's life. That's substantial.

My discomfort with the ways of traditional schools didn't stem from the fact that I am a control freak or one of those moms who wants to wrap her kid in pillows and a helmet before sending them out the door; my concerns were based on life experience. And, especially during those early years, a school day is a long time to be separated from family. Young children aren't exactly famous for relaying complete or accurate information about their days away from home, and as any parent of a teen can attest, it doesn't get much better with age.

The first time my sweet girl came home from school with an injury caused by another student, a scrape just beneath her eye, I was quick to give the benefit of the doubt. I asked what happened, and she told me that another child had thrown a snow ball at her, and I assumed it was a result of kids being kids on the playground in the snow. I did not, at the time, know about the school's 'no snow ball throwing' policy. I also did not know, until it happened again with a rock placed inside, that the snow was intentionally thrown at my daughter's face to injure her. The playground monitors? They did nothing. In fact, they didn't even report it to the teacher. But I sure did.

Over the course of the rest of the school year, my daughter was spat on at lunch because she wanted to be friends with another girl who did not want to be friends with her, had her arm clawed by a boy who said he 'just felt like doing that', and was verbally and eventually physically bullied by a team of three students on the bus a year ahead of her.

I went all Mama Bear and had everyone from the principal to the teacher to the bus driver to the guy in charge at the transportation department on speed dial. The teacher was wonderful. The principal really did her best as well. But there is only so much that can be done. But what really got me was when I kept pointing out the district's own bullying policy and stating that I wanted the bullies given time off of the bus, and the request was never taken seriously - but when my daughter caught the bus going up the street instead of down the street a couple of times, we were threatened with time off of the bus! The transportation guy never really liked me again after that.

As Little G's 5th birthday approached, I was already dreading Kindergarten. If my daughter, the well-spoken and much more social child of the two faced such as much bullying as she did, how would my autistic son with a speech disorder fare? It stressed me out immensely. Possibilities played in my head like awful movies; I pictured him being bullied, trying to respond, being unable to speak and being further victimized for that. I had to put it out of my mind. I couldn't bear the thoughts. R pretty much lets stuff roll like water off of a duck. G internalizes and is crushed by it.

Some people have said things to me like, "Well, they have to get used to the real world at some point." And I agree. But I have never been bullied in my adult life, not like kids experience in school. Does it happen? Sure, but it's rare and there are legal options available to adults who are harassed. Children are at the mercy of adults and school systems who often fail them terribly, and victimized by much more traumatic and frequent bullying which they have not developed psychologically enough yet to see for what it is. And statistically speaking, 58% of children never report being bullied. Worse? 1 in 4 children experience bullying.

Too many schools and parents consider bullying a harmless rite of passage. It isn't. Children commit suicide over this. People fail to reach their full potential because of wrecked self-esteem, or avoid doing things they otherwise would to enrich their lives because they fear their peers. Too many kids drop out of school because they cannot handle the social climate, not because the work is too difficult. And what a waste. I often wonder about the casualties of bullying; if the person who would have developed a cure for cancer or some other serious disease was bullied into dropping out of school, or life.

I believe in education. I love to learn, and so do my children. But many children who do receive a great education do so in spite of traditional schools and all of the garbage they encounter there. I'm not saying good kids don't have good experiences, or that kids don't have good times at school, or that all schools are bad, or that a lot of kids can't be really successful. I'm just saying I like our odds better this way. Raising children to be confident, motivated, self-starters who reach for their dreams and are willing to work hard for what they want is difficult enough in this world without the added burden of having to undo the damage of bullying.

Learn more about bullying at BullyingStatistics.org.

Mama, Will I Need a Backpack?

When I first thought about what homeschooling meant for us, I wasn't thinking about backpacks. My daughter already had one, because I prepare early and hers broke at the end of last school year. My son still has one in perfect condition from preschool. But would we even need them?

Initially, I figured road trips to grandma's house would be about the most use our backpacks would be getting as a homeschooling family, but I realized I wasn't really thinking outside of the box. Almost my entire experience with education has consisted of bricks and mortar schools, with the exception of having completed a couple of my college classes via online courses after I moved 50 miles away from campus. With my online courses, there was little to no need for a backpack. But homeschooling elementary students is a bit different. Nothing says we have to hold "class" at the kitchen table. We could throw our lessons into backpacks and head to the library for a change of pace. We might decide that having an outdoor art lesson at the park followed by a picnic lunch is a great way to spend the first half of our day. The possibilities are pretty much limitless.

Similarly limitless is our virtual academy's capacity to impress me with what they offer students. I went through approximately 1 1/2 of our 4 boxes of school curriculum and supplies, and I literally got butterflies of excitement about all that we will be doing this year.


I'm loving, absolutely loving the fact that I can actually look forward to this school year. Have I mentioned that yet?

Preview!

A preview of our very exciting unboxing! The countdown has begun, just under 3 weeks until school starts! I was busy today getting the house in order, finishing up tasks that need doing, and preparing for our home to double as a school. Oh, how I am loving this!

One thing I have been somewhat less enthusiastic about is sharing our homeschooling intentions with others, especially the more traditional-thinking members of our families. I want to tell them, but I will probably wait until they ask.

The Right Way

Three weeks until the start of school. When I think about how fast that will go, it feels a little scary! But then I remind myself that we will be learning at home, together, as a family, and my fears dissipate quickly as I think of all the advantages. I'm very excited. The kids are very excited.

It feels right not shipping my kids off bright and early every weekday morning until 4 o'clock in the evening. It felt almost like strangers were raising my daughter, getting to be there as she learned and grew while I was functioning to encourage her, get her on the bus in a timely manner, rush her through homework when she got home, and get her into bed in time to do it all again the next day. I hated that. I would not let on to my daughter that I hated it; I just made the most of the time I did have to spend with her and always exhibited a highly positive attitude about school and learning. That was especially difficult when dealing with the bullying, the, um, difficult gym teacher, and my daughter's natural curiosity about the meaning of obscene words she'd find written on the bathroom walls. But I managed.

The first few weeks were always tearful for me, something I thought would be easier last year but was somehow even more difficult. I became increasingly aware of my little girl's precious early years slipping away like grains of sand through my fingers. My discomfort with the family disconnect only grew as I realized that the opportunities for parental involvement in public school are few, and limited to a group of parents who always seem to be the same ones despite the names on the volunteer list. Oh, but they sure called me when they needed money or donations - which I gladly provided, but I missed my daughter.

I know my appraisal of public school sounds negative. I don't intend to come off that way. And I will be just as quick to admit that we were blessed with absolutely wonderful Kindergarten and first grade teachers, both of whom surely contributed to a very positive foundation for my daughter's educational experience. But I cannot deny the negative aspects of my daughter's public school experience. Education, much like other controversial mommy topics such as breastfeeding versus formula or what constitutes appropriate discipline, is a very personal family decision for which there is no universal "right way". What is right for my children may not be right for yours, and what works for one family may be complete and utter chaos and disaster for another.

Only time and experience will tell how this journey will unfold for us. For now, there is a lightness as the beginning of the academic year approaches and I know I do not have to part with both of my children for more than 7 hours each day while someone else teaches them. That lightness is countered by the trepidation of the great unknown of homeschooling. It sort of feels like buckling up for a roller coaster ride; there is a joyful anticipation with a side of internal butterflies.

P.S.

When school begins at the end of the month, posts will become much more interesting and actually include photos.

It's Official

I will have a two-student classroom as of the end of this month! I'm excited and scared at the same time, filled with hope and optimism with a healthy shot of trepidation thrown in for good measure. I'm feeling very thankful for having had the experience of completing a couple of my college classes by way of independent learning, because that experience has prepared me in many ways for this. Time management is key, and it eases my mind knowing that we will find our groove after a few weeks and the fear of the unknown will be behind us.

As it turned out, R heard G and I discussing his Kindergarten curriculum and some of the things we planned to do as far as field trips and hands-on learning, and she became more interested by the day. Finally, she just flat out asked me if she could be homeschooled, too. I had been on the fence about her. I never suggested she try homeschooling, but I did let her know the option was open if she wanted. I have been working closely and constantly with G from the time he was a baby because of his speech disorder and autism, so we work extremely well together and I feel confident being his learning coach. With R, it is an unknown. She could be less than pleasant during some of her homework assignments, but I'm not sure how much of that was how we work together and how much was saturation point - the simple fact that a 7 year-old child started her school day by getting on the bus at 8:30am and was still dealing with school at 6:30pm.

I don't want to sound like I am anti-homework. In fact, quite the opposite is true. I felt such a disconnect with my daughter being in public school, and I sincerely welcomed the opportunity to be involved in her education in any way. I think homework is an excellent way for parents to show an interest in their child's education and spend time together working on something important. But I wanted to be involved more, especially in the more enjoyable aspects of the learning process before the end of the day has come and we're all just exhausted and pressing through the motions so we can get to bed and start over the next day.

Until she started public school, I was highly involved in my daughter's learning experiences. And I loved it. I hoped I would adjust to her going off to school. Society says I am supposed to; age 5 is when children are expected to leave the family home for as many as 8 hours per day to begin their structured educations. But it just felt like something had been stolen, from all of us. And when my sweet girl was bullied, and coming home with an education I did not sign up for, it only made things feel more wrong. But at the same time, she thrived academically and undeniably had wonderful teachers. I did not want to take that experience from her by encouraging her to follow my heart; I want her to follow her own heart.

I guess I didn't realize just how much I truly wanted her to want to do homeschool with us. I kept asking over and over to make sure, and her decision did not waver. And since our decision was made, our home has been filled with more happiness than we've collectively experienced for some time. I no longer dread the start of school, I look forward to it excitedly as we begin our new journey as a family, the way I feel it ought to be. For us.

And the curriculum? Fantastic! I have a great deal to say about that, and I will soon.