The Right Way

Three weeks until the start of school. When I think about how fast that will go, it feels a little scary! But then I remind myself that we will be learning at home, together, as a family, and my fears dissipate quickly as I think of all the advantages. I'm very excited. The kids are very excited.

It feels right not shipping my kids off bright and early every weekday morning until 4 o'clock in the evening. It felt almost like strangers were raising my daughter, getting to be there as she learned and grew while I was functioning to encourage her, get her on the bus in a timely manner, rush her through homework when she got home, and get her into bed in time to do it all again the next day. I hated that. I would not let on to my daughter that I hated it; I just made the most of the time I did have to spend with her and always exhibited a highly positive attitude about school and learning. That was especially difficult when dealing with the bullying, the, um, difficult gym teacher, and my daughter's natural curiosity about the meaning of obscene words she'd find written on the bathroom walls. But I managed.

The first few weeks were always tearful for me, something I thought would be easier last year but was somehow even more difficult. I became increasingly aware of my little girl's precious early years slipping away like grains of sand through my fingers. My discomfort with the family disconnect only grew as I realized that the opportunities for parental involvement in public school are few, and limited to a group of parents who always seem to be the same ones despite the names on the volunteer list. Oh, but they sure called me when they needed money or donations - which I gladly provided, but I missed my daughter.

I know my appraisal of public school sounds negative. I don't intend to come off that way. And I will be just as quick to admit that we were blessed with absolutely wonderful Kindergarten and first grade teachers, both of whom surely contributed to a very positive foundation for my daughter's educational experience. But I cannot deny the negative aspects of my daughter's public school experience. Education, much like other controversial mommy topics such as breastfeeding versus formula or what constitutes appropriate discipline, is a very personal family decision for which there is no universal "right way". What is right for my children may not be right for yours, and what works for one family may be complete and utter chaos and disaster for another.

Only time and experience will tell how this journey will unfold for us. For now, there is a lightness as the beginning of the academic year approaches and I know I do not have to part with both of my children for more than 7 hours each day while someone else teaches them. That lightness is countered by the trepidation of the great unknown of homeschooling. It sort of feels like buckling up for a roller coaster ride; there is a joyful anticipation with a side of internal butterflies.