Critics of homeschoolers are often quick to cite proper socialization as a reason children should be shipped off to public school. Interestingly, very few people ever mention the quality of education homeschooled children will receive! For a society so concerned with socializing our children, one might think we would be equally concerned with the quality of those social interactions. But quality doesn't seem to enter the equation, ever. And I find that sad, and a little disturbing.
I don't necessarily believe that those who tout the social skills development benefits of public school really think about what they are saying. How many people truly believe that a group of 15 or 20 age-matched children can provide social skills and values adequately and appropriately for their child? Yes, I added values in there, because anyone who thinks their values at home will automatically override the values of those their children spend most of their waking hours with is likely in for unpleasant surprises ahead. I'm not saying it cannot be accomplished, but it takes an incredible amount of parental effort and involvement that I am not sure is present within the 'let the schools take care of it' mentality.
As a child, I lived in an apartment complex for the first 9 years of my life which was basically a retirement community. Most of my interactions were with much, much older adults. I delighted in playing violin, reading stories, or talking for hours over cocoa with my elderly neighbors, and enjoyed playing with grandchildren of all ages when they would visit. As a result of that experience, socially interacting with people of all ages, I was able to relate to people of all ages with confidence. And, for that matter, with interest. Age barriers became more blurred for me, and I simply saw people as people. It was actually my age-matched peers who proved most difficult, and had they been my only, or even the majority of my social exposure, I don't believe that would have been positive for me in the least. I want my children to interact with children and adults of all ages who are positive influences, and feel comfortable doing so. After all, in the real, post-school world, they will always be interacting with people of all ages.
This isn't to say some public school options don't offer such opportunities, but for the most part there is a very sharp cutoff between adults and children, and even between children in different grades. I never understood that, nor do I think it is particularly healthy. We are all people, and I often did not feel like a person in school; or at least, not a person with rights or respect. Sure, putting first graders with fifth graders on the playground with minimal supervision can be disastrous, but why not involve them all together in structured activities? Our local elementary did some of that, by having fourth grade students read to the Kindergartners; however, I feel that it still fostered the 'I am above you, imparting knowledge to you', one-directional way of education.
While public school is certainly the preferred route for some families whose children thrive there and truly have a positive experience, those children are not representative of all children. By nature, we are all different, and we cannot expect a cookie cutter education to work for every child. Given the very same curriculum, environment, peer group, and teachers, two students can have wildly different experiences and outcomes. I do my very best to understand my children, to consider life from their perspective. I ask a lot of questions about how they think and feel about things and ask for their feedback on family decisions. It is my belief that they should feel valued, always, and I'm not confident that most schools offer this sort of environment.
Until my next post, here are just a few of the ways homeschooled children can really enjoy very active and healthy social lives:
- Scouts
- Library groups
- Community volunteering
- YMCA
- Homeschool groups
- Arts centers
- Dance classes
- Gymnastics
- Martial arts
- 4-H
- Community sports teams (soccer, baseball, softball, etc.)
- Local common interest groups (painting, collecting things, etc.)
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